Setting the scene. Every now and then I tell a story of two crazy lovers that has nothing to do with the Ex Factor and I. This is one of those very times. Grab some popcorn and wine. We are off to explore a tale of two lovers but before we can…three may just be a crowd. Enter my sister: Brenda, her situation: Voldemort, and her boyfriend: Juan Pablo. Three’s company…this ain’t. Only one man can win Brenda’s heart.
The Situation. Voldemort also known as “he who shall not be named.” Okay…in order for me, KJM, to take a trip into a real life Hogwarts that is located…let’s say…in the teeny tiny state of modern day Connecticut…I have to step into Brenda’s first person voice and take you there. I am a little scared because I have never read nor watched any of the Harry Potter books and movies. Soon you will realize that none of that matters. This is a tale of lust and love. Definitely not a PG13 love story. So from here on out…I am Brenda and Brenda is me.
Now back to The Situation. Where to begin? Oh yes…silence. Our story begins with silence. Voldemort and I had not spoken for months. Prior to this eerie silence, we had been seeing each other and having “casual” sex. Heavy on the quotes around the word casual. Voldemort often got emotional about not feeling like he was enough for me relationship wise and…now sexually. Awkward. I know. Who wants to fuck a man who mentally and emotionally thinks he is a limp dick?! But I loved him so here we are. Limp dick city…more so emotionally than physically. Yet the result is still the same. A void. Space between us even when we laid together. I never saw Voldemort as less than. It is so important for me to make that clear. We could have been great together had I not spent more time acting like his therapist (upon his request) than his lover. I just wanted to love and be loved. It was that simple for me. My heart had once chosen him and I truly wished he believed that.
The Move Part 1. I was back in Connecticut thanks to a wonderful new job offer. Found a new apartment shortly after receiving my offer. This apartment as simple as it seems…changed the course of my life. Unbeknownst to me, things were falling into place by divine intervention. Three weeks before my move in date, I ran into Voldemort at a R&B kickback where he was oddly signaling to the entire party that we were a thing! A thing?! A silent thing, maybe? A dead thing, perhaps? But not a current thing?! I am just baffled. This fool was constantly pushing up behind me and putting his arms around me…like we just laid together last night?! Now I am even more confused. Hadn’t seen his penis in months. No messages on the therapy hotline neither. Damn…I sure hope my real future husband isn’t at this kickback thinking me and Lord Voldemort got a thing going on?! Cause we don’t.
The Move Part 2. Still at the R&B kickback with “he who shall not be named” attached to my very single and ready to mingle with anyone but him ass. Did I mention that I attended this kickback with my best guy friend? Voldemort did not believe that my male bestie was just a platonic friend. He was always paranoid. This dude truly needs a licensed therapist. Don’t believe me? About twenty minutes later after I said I was leaving the party, Voldemort WhatsApp video called me to see if I was with someone. My male bestie told me this would happen but I was still in shock. In shock that after months of not speaking, Voldemort was acting like a dog peeing on a tree in order to mark his territory! In shock that I even picked up his mother fucking WhatsApp video call from his damn android phone, when I, an iPhone user, should have just ignored his call. I am not his territory. Never was and turns out never will be. Yet, I entertained him by talking on that damn video chat until I fell asleep that night. I know. Stupid, right? I wish I could say I was drunk but I was just simply in a state of confusion.
The Move Part 3. Omg…I am so ready to move and at this point…I know you are ready for me to move. Let’s get to the life changing parts of this story. After the kickback, I didn’t speak to Voldemort for two weeks. More silence. Then suddenly he was everywhere. Popped up at my teenage nephew’s football game to tell me he was in therapy and owed it all to me. How did I feel about it? I mean I was happy he was getting help but still couldn’t figure out how he even knew I would attend this game. Later that night, he propositioned me for sex via text. This was an easy NO THANKS. Guess therapy was not quite working yet. Now it is time for my move. I am so ready for this move. New job! New place! and next stop…NEW MAN!
Moving Day. To my surprise, the universe was working over time. Needed help moving my clothes from one of my friend’s houses into my new place. Movers weren’t due to move my furniture from my storage unit to my apartment til late that afternoon. Enter Lord Voldemort. I figured the least he could do was help me move my clothes in the morning. I slept over his place the night before without touching him. My motive is just to get help with the first part of my move and since Voldemort worked second shift, he was the perfect person to ask. Morning came and we moved all my clothes into my new apartment! I could not believe that move in day was finally here! Filled with so much gratitude for my new job and new place, I overlooked how a somewhat ordinary day became extraordinary!
Two Hunks and A Truck. Voldemort had planned on waiting with me until my movers came but as luck would have it…the two fine movers from Two Hunks and a Truck were a couple hours late! “He who shall not be named” had to head to work. Work work work! Thank goodness for Voldemort’s job. Setting the scene again. Two Hunks and a Truck did not false advertise. Hours late yes but fine ass movers?! YES YES YES! I was shocked! Don’t ever remember movers being so good looking in my past moves. My vision is kind of sharp…yet I am asking myself if I am seeing what I am seeing! Muscles and sexy men! And “it’s not even my birthday!”
Voldemort’s Departure. Enter Juan Pablo! Baby one of the movers wanted to professionally and unprofessionally lick the icing off of…ME! YES you read that right. My old man…V whatever his name was…left around 1 p.m. and baby my new man, Juan Pablo, moved my furniture into my place around 2 p.m. I really want to thank Jah for my move in day but all the nasty sexy little things that occurred in the weeks to come were absolutely sinful. Father, forgive me for I have sinned! Within weeks, after each date night, I was calling his name. Juan Pablo! Juan Pablo! I was touching my toes, I was bench pressing, and I was squatting all while my new man spotted me. My body was in a state of ecstasy. I would jump and Juan Pablo would catch me! The courtship. The commitment. It all happened so fast. I was under new management! No need to look back. No need to feel insecure. No need to be a full time therapist. No need for games. Two Hunks and A Truck literally meant that if one of them hunks parked their truck in your parking garage…baby…he ain’t going no where! I quickly put Voldemort on block and never looked back! No matter where or how he popped up….I wanted no parts of him. “I met someone who would do the work for me before he even knew I was worth it.” And that has made a world of difference! ~KJM signing off as Brenda. In one moment, your life can change for the better. This story is a reminder that you to keep going. Brenda thought Voldemort felt like love but she was really trauma bonded. Love is on the way baby!