I do not know how to flirt…thus I just don’t do it. The issue with this is I cannot always recognize when someone is flirting with me. ??♀️ Not flirting nor having the ability to recognize flirting has worked for me in my dating life but I would not recommend that for my singles’ readers. Flirting is an art…granted an art I have done without but I’m in a league of my own. What league is that? A small league of direct women that shoot their shot and almost never miss. Meaning I can just say I want a man or just walk up to him and say I want to date him and he will either say yes or no. Many women think this will make them look thirsty but in my experience, if done right and seriously, it’s lead to a lot of long term dating relationships where I remained true friends with my past dudes long after we stopped dating. ??♀️ Like I said…this works for ME…I definitely would not recommend it to anyone else. Now let’s get into some of the real and crazy reasons why some of us miss flirting signs. 5. HIS PENDING PRISON SENTENCE/SHE IS 9 MONTHS PREGNANT WITH ANOTHER DUDE’S BABY (Subconscious Deal Breakers): I once met a guy that was in a lot of legal trouble. Immediately and without knowing it, I friend zoned him. Months later…when he beat the charges….my roommate pointed out that my friend was fine and had been flirting with me from day one. ? With no prison sentence looming, I took a double take of him and realized he was fine as hell! Coincidentally, he is still in my top 3 of best sex I have ever had. ?? If that man couldn’t do anything else…he could lay the pipe! ? Of course, he laid his pipe for half of the female population at my very large university! ??♀️ But I digress. Sometimes we subconsciously count someone out because they are presently unavailable. It does not matter how much they flirt if our subconscious says….dude…her water is about to break! Sis better try back once the baby is a year old and her womb is unoccupied! ??♀️?? 4. LOW SELF ESTEEM! If we do not feel great about ourselves…it will be hard for us to believe that someone else out there wants us. This is why I highly recommend that my readers exercise. I am no Beyoncé but by the time I am finished with a work out…I at least feel like I’m one of her cousins. ????♀️ LoL. Or at least one of her back up dancers! ? 3. WE ARE TOO FOCUSED ON OURSELVES! Sometimes the world is kicking our butts and we just have no time to deal with anything else but the issues we are facing. For example, someone who just experienced a death in their family or just got divorced. Our mind frame may not be in a place to be fully present when someone takes interest in us. Thus, we just aren’t paying attention. 2. THEY’RE UGLY! Ugh! U.G.L.Y. They ain’t got no alibi…they ugly! ??♀️??♀️??♀️ It has happened to us all. Someone we find highly repulsive is trying their hardest to get our attention while we are trying hard to ignore them. Attraction is important! It’s one thing to be on the fence about if you are attracted to someone and quite another to be getting physically ill just at the sight of them. So we ignore their flirting cues because we are simply not interested! 1. IN A DIFFERENT SOCIAL CIRCLE WHERE FLIRTING CUES ARE NOT WHAT WE ARE USE TO! A straight friend of mine went to a gay bar with one of her gay friends. Her male gay friend kept pointing out to her that so many lesbians were hitting on her. My friend was thoroughly confused and not just because she was not interested but more so because she just had not noticed. She just thought everyone was really nice at this particular bar! ??♀️??♀️ Thus, different cultures, genders, and sexual orientations may flirt in ways we are not use to. Sis, she asked to borrow a chair near you after she passed 5 other chairs that were closer to her! ??♀️??♀️ I don’t know…I probably would have miss this cue too! Lol. ~KJM on Hump Day! Flirting is an art. If you are good at it….flirt on playa! But if you are like me and it’s just not your thing…just directly ask the person if they are interested. Worst case scenario…they say no and you move on. Best case scenario….you have a hot date for Friday night! ?? Good luck out there! ?
Archives for December 2018
The frost of Thanksgiving Night has thawed out. And then the dawn appeared filled with new brave thoughts. If I am alone…just let me alone. ALONE I can handle. What is breaking me is being stuck in the middle. Feeling your warmth on certain days and your cold shoulder on others. Never really feeling like a priority. I know I am alone. What I am really asking is for you to let me feel completely alone. I can withstand frost alone. I can dig myself out of a snow storm alone. My life could completely fall apart and I could piece it together…alone. This I know. What I don’t like is feeling like you should be here for me….present with me…yet you are not. It is not that I feel the presence of other women. If I had this feeling…breaking away from you would be easy. There are so many ways a man can make a woman…his woman…feel alone. Whether your focus is on friends, family, or video games…it just feels like I’m laying with a phantom of you. Alone is my safe place. Like completely alone. I travel alone (by choice). I live alone (by choice). Alone is my safe space. I can share any truths with myself. I can hold myself. I can pleasure myself. What makes me uncomfortable is not the thought of being alone…but the ghost of you that is barely present. I can see a new dawn being born as the sun rises. The warmth of understanding that it is a new day and I am alone is okay with me. I will not break. I will not be sad for I can trust myself to be alone with myself. I can rely on me…always have. I will show up for myself. And in the darkest hours, I would rather know that you were never showing up than to be disappointed by the phantom of you being absent again. If I am alone in this world…then let me be alone. There is PEACE in being alone. I won’t waste a night of sleep missing me nor yearning for myself. For I got me. There is a deep understanding of self…when one is alone. ~KJM on Temptation Tuesday. So many of us women are carrying our relationships (whether dating or married). A relationship (not even marriage) does not guarantee that you won’t be nor feel alone. Many of us will settle down with useless corpses of a man but never forget that we still have ourselves. Sometimes alone is just the best place to be. ?