Happy Hump Day! Today I’m going to switch things up and not do a sex blog. Recently, I binged watched “The Good Doctor” on ABC. Amazing show! I highly recommend it. The show is about the life of an autistic resident surgeon, Dr. Shaun Murphy. It is heartbreakingly beautiful. So many lessons one can take away from it. While the show’s focus is not on romantic relationships…though love and life are at the heart of every relationship of the characters…I found myself rooting for romantic love! ? At one point (spoiler alert), Shaun starts to develop feelings for his neighbor, Leah. Something about their interactions reminded me that the future is still bright. Love is still on the way! ?? Shaun’s heart is so open and pure. The way he looks at Leah…gave me hope. In my entire dating life, I have heard the words “I love you” from many guys but I never felt truly loved from not one of them. For most of them…love was really lust and for a small amount of them (especially the Ex Factor), love is simply not possible yet. They have no clue how to openly and unconditionally love a woman. Love, in a romantic sense, has just been a word with no real meaning for me. Wasted words during wasted times. As I watch Shaun’s heart beat for Leah…it occurred to me that some man out there is praying to meet me. Not some man focused on my physical attractiveness nor how much of a challenge I am…but some man having brunch with his mother while describing the type of daughter in law he wants to bring her. A man with a plan. A man who can openly and honestly have a relationship. A man strong enough to support me (especially emotionally) on my life’s journey. A man that is READY! Not one I had to make ready. Not one I had to convince to love me. Not one scared of every fucking emotion. ? A man that knows I am his one and only. A man that enjoys and respects my independence! A man that brings out the best in me. A man that makes me feel emotionally and physically safe. This man is out there. God knows our timing so I need not bother looking. As I watched “The Good Doctor,” I could feel my hopes and dreams beating in my heart again! ? Not since summer 2010 (the summer I met the Ex Factor) have I felt this way. And I am excited about it yet in no rush. I feel free. I no longer feel like I am drowning in a love that can no longer satisfy my needs. There is hope. Please remember that in the midst of your romantic storms or any storms for that matter…the future is still so bright. Let go of anything that no longer serves your soul. Free yourself up for that love that is ready! And…never settle! ?? ~KJM on HumpDay!
Archives for May 2018
Happy Temptation Tuesday! When I was a child, I was once asked if I would rather be loved or respected. I said respected because respect can live without love but love cannot live without respect. ?? I don’t think at that moment it really sunk in what I was saying. Essentially, I was just repeating what Papa Michael’s had taught me. At 36 years old…I now get it. Often times we are so focused on the love that we are giving that we are completely forgetting about the love we are receiving…or not receiving. I use to think my love could heal anyone. My love could fix any problem if I tried hard enough but that is simply not true. I was putting myself in front of the firing squad for the Ex Factor while he could not be bothered to love me the way I needed to be loved. Ouch. ??♀️ I know I’m not the only one though. Some of y’all are out there running in circles over the same kryptonite that cannot be faithful for even a night. ?? Running yourselves into the ground…and even an early grave for a love that had long forsaken you. No judgement here. I get it…sadly I now get it. The thing is…respect is such an essential part of love. If there is no respect and trust…you have nothing with your partner. You are in fact a living breathing doormat. ??♀️ To love and not care whether you are being loved back in a healthy manner is suicidal. We are killing ourselves for people who never deserved us and why? To say we are ride or die?! I only want to be ride or die for myself!!! ?? That was always my intention yet I made some wrong turns. We all do in life. Some of you may be stuck in marriages where you don’t feel loved and respected. It may seem hopeless now but things will get better…if you focus on getting back the respect or finding someone who loves you enough to respect you. Are you taking a deep breath and taking this all in? I am…as I am writing this. It’s like I’m waiting to exhale from under a fog of self sabotage. I was so focused on what my love can do…for I had never really loved before…that I missed how badly I was being disrespected. There is a huge part of me that thinks that no woman who loves a man is truly happy…men seem so toxic…but I have to back away from that kind of thinking to find peace. There will be ups and downs in every relationship. There will be good and bad times. As long as love, respect, loyalty, and trust are at the heart of that relationship along with getting your needs met…there is hope. However, if respect is not part of your relationship…do not kid yourself into thinking it will get better. Get out. Exhale. And then breathe fresh air again! ?? Toxic people often make themselves more important than they really are. We may not even love them as deeply as we think. They are just a symptom of a bigger problem or a familiar drug we can’t get off of. REHAB TIME! No matter what it is…there is a beautiful life awaiting all of us after breakups and heartbreaks. Never think that only one person can love you. A better one is most likely out there praying for you. Stay open. Stay focused on loving yourselves. And never forget that if you don’t have yourself…if you can’t count on yourself…then you have nothing. You are someone beautiful. You deserve a love that respects you. There is life after relationship deaths. A season of rebirth is upon us. Embrace it. ? ~KJM onTemptation Tuesday.
Happy Hump Day! Yesterday I happened to come across an article that claimed that big belly men make better lovers! ? Apparently, they even last longer in bed. ??? This is a topic I have very little experience in because all of my lovers except Mister Toss Salad were skinny or of athletic build with washboard stomachs. Thus, I had to ask around. Wait…let’s swing back for a second. To this day, I don’t remember Mister Toss Salad’s body and never ever saw his penis! He was a fucking rebound guy and I did not like the feel of his penis (half circumcised…half not?!). Thus, I promised myself that I would never look his penis in the eye. lol. ??♀️ And I kept that promise to myself for the few months we dated. One thing I do know is he is naturally a big guy. When we dated he was on a strict diet and working out so he was smaller than he had been in the years I had known him prior to us briefly dating. I say all of this to say that I don’t remember his body. I straight up did not look at him. ??♀️ But he did wine and dine me and could eat pussy and toss a good salad like no one’s business! ?? Gots to give him that. Since my sexual rolodex is useless on this topic, I turned to some of my girlfriends for input. Here are the top 5 things my friends taught me about big belly men: 5. WILLOW: Not all big belly men are overweight. Some of them are skinny guys who have guts from drinking and drugs. 4. NICOLE: She has never ever been with a big belly man and never plans to. Nicole said she cannot handle a big belly touching her. Luckily she’s happily married to a non big belly man. 3. INGRID: She prefers bigger men but not obese men. Some how cuddling up with a skinny guy does not sit right with her. She likes her men to have some manly meat for her to hang on to. 2. JASMINE: Two out of four of her big belly lovers were great to her. She had amazing sex with them as well. Jasmine did point out that she never slept with a guy with washboard abs. She also pointed out that because I date younger, I get the pleasure of sleeping with men who seriously take care of their bodies. ?? Jasmine says men get lazier with their fitness as they get older. ? So does this mean I am an ageist? ??♀️ ??♀️ 1. HARMONY: big belly men last longer than the seven minutes in bed some skinny men put in! ??? Thank you ladies for getting back to me on this topic! My thoughts…I love a fit man even though I am not fit myself. The Ex Factor is my most fit guy I have ever dated. Not an inch of fat on his body and abs I can make breakfast on! ? By far, I am the most attracted to him. I prefer my men fit so that they can inspire me to get fit. The Ex Factor has loved my body (for the last 8 years) unconditionally. Through those 8 years, I have gained around 40lbs. He was with me when I was skinny and broke…and he has been down with me as my womanly curves grow along with my bank account. The Ex Factor has never made me feel bad about my body. I think he is more obsessed with my body than I am. And I love him for that. ? The great thing about the Ex Factor is he is not some crazy gym fanatic that talks about the gym all the time. He just loves being fit. It is who he naturally is. Putting that all aside, we usually end up dating who we attract. Right now I do not look my age. My 34DDs plump up without a bra like the Ex Factor just cooked them.? So my man market right now are washboard abs guys. ?? When my breasts start drooping (for gravity is certain to come get them whether I have children or not), my men market may change. I may secretly be an ageist but I do not think I discriminate against big belly men. Well…not intentionally. You see my skinny with a muscular build guys (not the steroids looking ones) have huge penises around 90% of the time. ?? It is the extra large penis I prefer…til the day I die! ??? ~KJM on Hump Day! Ladies if the athletic build ain’t working, try you an overweight lover. One thing most of us agreed on is men with bellies try harder in bed. While I can’t testify to how long they last in bed (as my big dick roster has proven to be able to go on and off for about 16 hours in one day when they are at their best), I do know my one unfit guy could eat pussy and toss my salad like no one else! ??? Big Guys remember to sing in the bedroom “Back then they didn’t want me, now I’m hot…they all on me…Mike Jones” when the pussy factory reads this article ( http://www.rebelcircus.com/blog/men-with-big-bellies-make-better-lovers-science-finds/ ) and comes knocking! ?? As for me, shout out to my extra large penises (Phoenix, the Ex Factor, and Crazy). ???? I have a feeling that even in my next life, I would sleep with you guys (athletic build or not). ?? EDITOR’S NOTE: results of similar studies for women better say that us big belly women are great in bed too! If we have to stay open to big belly men…they should have to stay open to us! Of course, I am like most men. I aim high and no man is out of my league…no matter what my body looks like. I am as faithful and as consistent as my options. ????♀️? May I be a billionaire one day…getting all the washboard abs and big dick lovers I want until the day I die! ??