Writer, Editor, & Lifestyle Blogger: Sex, Lust, Love, Celibacy & More š„° A woman not afraid to walk in her truth....in style of course š š
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS
Written by Kingston Jael Michaels, Performed by Grace, Beats by Davincii Productions, Produced by Loyalist, and Engineered by ANS Studios.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS
Written by Kingston Jael Michaels, Performed by Scarlet, Beats by Davincii Productions, Produced by Loyalist, and Engineered by ANS Studios.
Podcast: Play in new window | Download
Subscribe: Apple Podcasts | RSS
Written by Kingston Jael Michaels, Performed by Alexis Skyy, Beats by Davincii Productions, Produced by Loyalist, and Engineered by ANS Studios.
Sex should NEVER be used as a weapon in a relationship nor in a situationship! When Julio and I lost our virginities to each otherā¦we promised to never deny each other sex. And we kept that promise for all the years that we dated. Upset, happy, sad, or in between we were vocal about wanting to please the other person. However, I was almost always still mad at Julio even after we had sex!!!! Iām tired of telling folks that I can separate sex and love just as easily as some of y’all separate your groceries! ? Let me be clear though that MY body was MINE. Julio nor any other man had no permission to violate it nor pursue me sexually without MY CONSENT! ?? In every relationship including marriage, men please get consent from the women you are with before ever touching her sexually and if she says STOPā¦.you do that! Rape is nothing to be played with! I belong to GOD and only GOD. And the only human being that can give consent for meā¦is me! Now that thatās coveredā¦lets go back to the matter at hand. I never use sex as a weapon in situationships nor relationships! But there comes a time in a situationship/relationship that a woman may have to shut down the pussy pot until SHE feels safe and secure enough to open it back up to the man she loves. I am at such a time with the Ex Factor! As my last two blogs stated, we have been arguing a lot lately and the arguments have been the worst Iāve ever participated in! Itās so unlike us! We are having huge power struggles over our levels of commitment or lack there of AND small shit that is just masking the real issue! Itās gotten downright ugly! The Ex Factor appears to be very forgiving and since the last blow out we have been doing much better. Yet all this arguing got me thinking about some advice Grace gave me a while agoā¦.since the Ex Factor seems to be addicted to my pussy potā¦.maybe itās time to shut that shit down until he gets that act right! Because I donāt believe in using sex as a weapon, I decided against it. Things have gotten so bad though that even our sex life (in my opinion) is being affected by it. Iām not thrilled by our sex life right now because we are so emotionally disconnected! For me it feels like a dog shitting outside twice a dayā¦.a routineā¦.in which one must do to survive. No real thrill in shitting twice a dayā¦but I guess I got to ask a real dog that! Lol. On Saturday, I spoke to the Ex Factor about just being platonic friendsā¦.at which he gave no direct reply. Since then we have been texting each other all day again and Iāve even woken up to a sweet text from him. Hmmmmā¦did you hear that?! Thatās the sound of my pussy pot slowly closing!!! I LOVE this man but Iām not going to let him walk all over me and drive me crazy!!! So Iām taking Graceās advice! Now Tiffany before you freakā¦.Iām not pulling a 6 months without sex phrase like I did with Elijah!!! No way I could do without the Ex Factorās touch that long!!! But Iām giving us a little time to fix our communication and get back on the same page! I know the Ex Factor isnāt ready to settle down and truth be toldā¦.neither am I. But we love each other and love takes WORK! I canāt have him making me do all the work and making me feel bad for it when he disappoints me! Itās time he steps up and perhaps if Iām NOT riding him, the fucking picture will become crystal clear for him that he better get his ass in gear! Iām a beautiful, intelligent, and loving woman but if he gets me to revert back into bad girl modeā¦he will regret it!!!! The vagina was built to outlast the penis in every wayā¦.hence why they usually die before us. Lol. Channeling Mama Michaels here!? Now for those of you worried that he may get it from somewhere elseā¦he better fucking worry that I may do the same!!! Besides Iāve freed this puppy many times and Iāve learn two things (1) them young bitches arenāt taking they vitamins like they should and (2) he does love me. ?? Now if he runs into a mature OG (Original Gangsta) like meā¦I may be in trouble (lol) but if that does happenā¦it was meant to happen! If you love somethingā¦donāt be afraid to let it go! I pray we fly and not sink but only God knows our destiny! So I close up shop for a bit. Iāve got my day job, this blog, and a vacation coming up that all my need my attention. Taking advice from my homegirl, Harmony, and focusing on meā¦while letting all that other shit fall in place!?? ~KJM on Charm School Monday saying Iām over here masturbating, counting my pussy hairs, and eating Cheerios!?? Donāt need any man under me that aināt gonna do the WORK!ā?ļø And for any other guy that may be reading thisā¦um if y’all aināt the Ex Factorā¦Iām not checking for you so back the fuck up! ??
I have been meaning to write you sooner but I am ashamed. Ashamed of what Iām about to blog about. Seems like there is no better day to share this than Serenity Saturday. In my last blog, āHe Will Stand There And Watch Me (The I Am On My Own Edition),ā I mentioned that the Ex Factor and I had a terrible fight. I cried through writing that blog but knew there was something I was keeping for you. During the argument, I saw a side of myself emerge that Iāve never seen before when having a conflict with a CURRENT romantic partner! While I felt like the Ex Factor was hurting and disrespecting me, where I took the argument was humiliating for me. You see, I grew up in a home where the Michaels had no issue with cussing each other out in front of us children. I vowed never to call my romantic partner out of his name (to his face) and to never take things to the point of no return but after years of not doing thatā¦the day came Wednesday night! Now let me be clear, ex romantic partners will get cussed out in a hot minute if they cross the line! But even with ending things with Julio and Elijah, I gave them more respect than I gave the Ex Factor! Itās ironic that Iām arguing with him about him disrespecting me (unbeknownst to him) and I decide to retaliate and disrespect him in an earth shattering way. The only time Iāve ever seen myself this mad (or more) is arguing with my immediate family! No man has ever been able to take me there. But as he remained calm and did not return the favor of calling me out my nameā¦.I wondered if he took me there or if I took my ass there! I am by no means a cake walk. Kingston is a hot tempered Jamaican woman. And I donāt fucking play! But if you remember what I said in my āAlpha Femaleā blogā¦.a true Alpha Female does not purposely emasculate a man she cares about and thatās just what I did to the Ex Factor. Itās like the rage in me took over. The worst part is I discussed the argument with Mama Michaels, who generally loves that I am a strong woman, and I told her EVERYTHING I said to the Ex Factor. First, a look of horror came over her face and then she told me that there are certain things a woman must never say to the man in her life (even if true) because he may never recover from itā¦and that I said a couple of them!? Itās rare I ever talk to my parents about my personal life but this was one time I felt like I needed my mother. And thank goodness she was there! Then the tears started to flow! I am so embarrassed by my behavior!!! Now I wonāt say the Ex Factor doesnāt have responsibility in this whole mess but my growth is dependent on learning from MY actions not his! He has to go to sleep at night living with his issues while I tackle mine! To paint you a graphic pictureā¦.I will give two examples of things never to say to a man that DOES NOT apply to this situation but gives you an idea of the level of shit that came out my mouth: 1. The child you have been raising is not yours and 2. I have been fucking your brother/best friend! ? Now none of these apply to us but the things I said are just as spirit crushing! What the fuck is wrong with me?!! The Ex Factor was hurting me but itās like he was slowly cutting me and I opened up the firing squad on him! Not a proud moment for me at all!!! Even with all I said (more like screamed into the phone) the Ex Factor kept his calm and still wanted to work things out! I said I would think about it but once we hung up I text him that it was over!!! Then all hell broke loose part two! Was there a fucking full moon Wednesday night because I was on one and not in a good way!?I couldnāt stop! But after my āIyanla Fix My Lifeā moment with my mother, I immediately sent a heartfelt apology to the Ex Factor. He is speaking to me but with each interaction I just want to cry about all that went down. Yes the Ex Factor has left me ānaked and uncoveredā emotionally (see blog with that title) but that doesnāt mean I shouldnāt hold my head up high and handle each situation with class! I stepped outside of myself for sure! Only the people that mean the most to me could ever unleash this ugly side of me but dear God they deserve the most respect! Meeting disrespect for disrespect isnāt the way to go! I want a deeper commitment from the Ex Factor and he isnāt ready to give it!!! I think this side of me emerged because I have never wanted a deeper commitment from any guy!!! So in my mind, if I want itā¦.I damn sure better get it! Smdh. Not my finest moment but I am holding myself accountable! Sighā¦.I am forever a work in progress! ~KJM on Serenity Saturday saying never forget the golden rule: when you hurt someone you loveā¦you hurt yourself ten times more. Pray for me!?
Last nightā¦.really early this morning, I had the worst argument Iāve ever had with the Ex Factor. The conversation started innocently enough over text. I had been somewhat distant from the Ex Factor in the last week. Even though I spoke to him almost dailyā¦.I never told him I was off from my day job. Wait let me back it up a bitā¦prior to this conversationā¦yesterday afternoon I heard from Elijahā¦again! He sent me two messages and as usual neither of them said much. Iāve been read receipting him all summerā¦not to be mean but because Elijah is 39!!! If he has something serious he had to say to me..he could have picked up the phone and expressed himself. These little boy games of texting and whatās app messages all summer filled with Hiās were just pure juvenile. This time, however, I asked Elijah why he was contacting me all these months and he instantly said he still āwanted me!ā I got so fucking turned off! Not an I miss you nor an I love you (not that either of those phrases would change how I feel about him but at least I would have respected how he came at me). Even the Ex Factorās young ass know better than to do such things. Who are raising these boys?! Because they sure the fuck come across as WEAK! Men, if you have something to say to a womanā¦and you have one chance to tell herā¦you better have more to say than what this fool had prepared! Does this shit work on other women?! Cause it left me dry! Dry! Dry! I replied to Elijah and told him I donāt want him and he ended the conversation rather abruptly! Whatās wrong boo? Cat got your tongue? Feelings got hurt? Next time step to a womanā¦like a man! This is one of the few things I am sure of in life! I DO NOT WANT ELIJAH! ??Life is too short to go through shit with some man you donāt loveā¦.or even a man you do love and he donāt respect you! Back to the Ex Factor! As Iām writing thisā¦.I am bawling my eyes out. I LOVE HIM (the Ex Factor)! But early this morningā¦.I had to take back my power from him and let him go!!! This blog is dedicated to all the women I know (and donāt know) thatās going through something similar! LET ME BEGIN: He will stand there and watch me give more love than he does. He will stand there and watch me as I sacrifice my inner peace for him. He will stand there and watch me fall apart time and time againā¦without ever trying to catch me. He will stand there and watch me as I raise our children with no help from him (whether we live together or not). He will stand there and watch me fight the world to preserve our loveā¦with no help from him. He will stand there and make me feel like an optionā¦in datingā¦and even when we are married. He will stand there and watch me cling to my sanity when life gets hard for our family yet not lend a true hand to be there for me. He will stand there and destroy me while convincing me that I am the one destroying myself! In a sense, he is right. I have to take some of the blame because I allowed him to stand on the sidelines of our life while making promises that I could be there for us even when he checked out! Not only did he check out but he broke every promise to meā¦and our family! Worst part isā¦.I let him off the hook! I allowed him to STAND THERE AND WATCH me as I self destruct! I, with my actions, indirectly told him that his love was worth more than mine. That he is worth saving while Iām drowning! Speaking of drowningā¦.did I mention that I canāt swim? I taught myself when I jumped in the ocean and he promised to come in after meā¦but never did! I am a survivor so you damn right that in midst of those wavesā¦I taught myself to swim! Hell I can fly tooā¦that I learned for my children! They should never have to pay for my mistakes. Mommy will swim AND flyā¦.Iām not JESUS but I believe in HIM and I believe if need beā¦HE would teach me how to walk on water! Because GOD is always ableā¦.even in the most dire situations! GOD IS ABLE!?????? I want to say that Iām so surprised that heā¦just stood there and watched me. But there were signsā¦from the beginning, Iāve had to bend over backwards being super woman for usā¦sometimes forgetting myself in the process. Yeaā¦.he just stood there and watched meā¦.and I let himā¦. ~KJM on Throwback Thursday saying we womenā¦single and marriedā¦have to always set our standards high in our situationships and relationships. These men would run all over us and deplete us of everything if we didnāt stop sometimes and sayā¦.āmotherfuckerā¦not today!āā?ļø
Do you guys remember when BeyoncĆ© dropped the song āRing The Alarmā from the album B’day?! I immediately fell in love with it but for some reason mainstream America and pop culture didnāt!!! For those who donāt know, āRing The Alarmā is an anthem ALL women who knew their men when they were boys and had a hand in āmoldingā them should learn by heart! BeyoncĆ© gonna ring the alarm (aka fuck him up in my opinion) if the man that SHE upgraded tries to ever leave her for another woman!?? B, Iām right there with you (bat in hand and all)! Thatās rightā¦way before BeyoncĆ© got some of y’all chicks in āFORMATIONā and had you sipping on āLEMONADE,ā B tried to forewarn y’all about what would happen if you upgrade an ungrateful man! But was y’all listening?! Nooo! So ten years laterā¦we had to get our asses in āFormationā for not heeding Beyonceās message with āRing The Alarm.ā Now let me say thisā¦.Iām not a BeyoncĆ© fan but I respect her hustle and support when I can! Jay Z should have named her āthe hardest working chick in the gameā instead of the ābaddest chick in the game!ā BeyoncĆ© be channeling her inner Jamaican selfā¦.unbeknownst to herā¦when she drops album after albumā¦even when pregnant! All hail Queen B!?? But I digress. This blog isnāt about Beyonceās success. Itās got an even deeper message. I look at the Savannah Jamesā verses the Majorie Harveyās of the world and I lose my mind! Now let me be clearā¦.I love both women! But they are good examples for where this blog is going. Savannah has known LeBron since they were teenagers, gave birth to two of three of their children before they got married, and stayed with LeBron as he turned into āKing James!ā Now she donāt look itā¦but you know home girl been through some THANGS! I canāt even say things! Shit! Props to her for standing with beauty, grace, and smiles while LeBron grew the fuck up! Like I saidā¦I donāt know them personally but I know the fuck what I have been through with the Ex Factor these last 6 years and he isnāt famous!!! His 20s bout to be the death of me or give me some serious jail time because most of the timeā¦Iām looking at the Ex Factor like āno him bloodclot didnāt?!ā See blog about the āpuppy pissing all over my fucking carpetā for reference! Lol! Savannah, girl, can you send me YOUR playbook because these are trying times and Iāve spent 6 years loving a boy who will one day be an amazing man and I will be damned if some other chick comes along and claims the motherfucking final product! Hold up..wait a minute! Iām having a LEMONADE moment! ?? Woosa! Woosa! Breathe in! Breathe out! I donāt want to have to knock a bitch out! ? lol. Now onto to Marjorie āfly assā Harvey akaā¦.Steve Harveyās third wife! Now she may have had some influence on his āThink Like A Manā franchise but so probably did those two prior divorces! Wow! Iām about to lose it! ā?ļø I donāt know for sure but I can almost bet money that his first wife didnāt get this thoughtful, loving, and RICH Steveā¦Marjorie got! Girlā¦I pray she is somewhere living her happiness and they all get along well! But if I were her (and maybe she or the second wife did this) I would RING THE ALARM! I meanā¦Iām mentally out there swinging bats for all the girlfriends, baby mamas, and first wives who put their hearts and souls into supporting a man on his dream and when he became greatnessā¦he bounced with some chick that never had to get dirt on her ankles! Bitch I think not! Back the fuck up! Too much work and too much time was put into this man! Matter of factā¦.Iām about to channel my inner Angela Bassett in āWaiting To Exhaleā and have all his shit burning on my front lawn! Figuratively of course!? Now Iām not saying every first wife molded her manā¦not saying that at all but for every woman who didā¦this blog is for you! Sometimes I just want to give up on the Ex Factor! He takes so much patience and understanding that Iām digging for those things in the crevasses of my asshole and am pretty sure they donāt exist! But Iām a mess tooā¦.so he could be saying the same about me!? Boys are typically (Iāve found this to be true from my own experiences) many years behind girls from birth! I want to say they start behind in the fucking womb but I have no actual proof of that as I have never been pregnant but Iām willing to bet money on it! Smdh! What we women go through with men is just too fucking much and I hear itās a lifetime thing! Your man could be 50 years old and still give you a āwhat the fuck was he thinkingā¦let me get this brick and hit him in the faceā moment. Though KJM never promotes violence. ? This is more of a mental exercise! Woosa! Woosa! If I am molding a man to be my King, Iām not just going to easily let another woman come get the fruits of my labor! No way baby! And if they do leaveā¦itās better to be the wife than the long term girlfriend because at least if you get the right divorce lawyerā¦a good settlement may be coming your way! Because letās be honestā¦these dudes generally donāt have prenups when they donāt got a fucking penny to their names! You can be on the come up and leave meā¦.but itās gonna cost you! Channeling my inner Vanessa Bryant (Kobeās wife) hereā¦.lol! ~KJM on Hump Day saying you aināt gonna have me in the streets singing āNot Gonna Cryā because if you get shadyā¦.me and my lawyer will āRing The Alarm!ā Shout out to Savannah James, Vanessa Bryant, and Mrs. Marjorie Harvey if you nasty! ??? Lets end the morning on some wise words from Queen B on B’day: [Hook:] Ring the alarm I been through this too long But Iāll be damned if I see another chick on your arm Wonāt you ring the alarm? I been through this too long But Iāll be damned if I see another chick on your arm [Chorus:] She gonā be rockinā chinchilla coats If I let you go Getting the house off the coast If I let you go She gonā take everything I own If I let you go I canāt let you go Damn, if I let you go She gonā rock them VVS stones If I let you go Couped in the ābach or the Rolls If I let you go She gonā profit everything I taught If I let you go I canāt let you go Damn, if I let you go
A woman can be basic and unnatural. As well as a woman can be ānaturalā and not basic. Itās not really about cosmetics nor style. Basic is a mind frame and it comes in all different shapes and forms. Basic is as basic does…. But let me remind you that the “basic” bitch isn’t better than the “bad” bitch. The bad bitch only has her looks and body to depend on while the basic bitch is missing brains, talent, spine, and perhaps looks. They both aren’t BOSSES?? ~KJM on Charm School Monday clearing up any bad basic confusions lol
Well! Well! Itās Charm School Monday! Typically we learn deep life lessons on this day but NOT today! We are about to get ignorant! First off, Iāve had some down time in the last few days from my day job so my entire focus has been on my blog anniversary project and all the women helping me with it. Iām so preoccupied that I havenāt worn makeup since last Wednesday! Now if you know me personallyā¦.you know I have naturally flawless brown skin and I have no issues with rolling out the house with just some clear lipgloss and eye liner (I canāt leave either behind). But generally my face is always beat for the gods!?? Now before I dive into the ignorant mess we are about to discussā¦.I want to speak to the basic bitches. If you are oneā¦you may want to stop reading! Iām not hatingā¦Iām just stating my opinion. For those who donāt know what a basic bitch isā¦this is my definition: a simple woman, who doesnāt take care of herself, always got something negative to say about other women who do take very good care of themselves, no ambitions, no goals, a doormat, and essentially a hater herself. Now that we have that coveredā¦on to the NEXT! In general, the basic bitch is not my friend. However, sometimes I envy her freedom to never have pressures to be somethingā¦.GREAT! The basic bitch doesnāt have to educate herself. She doesnāt need āmeā timeā¦.she is whatever people want her to be. Me time would put her in a position to think and reflect and thatās just a hell no for her! The basic bitch doesnāt worry about pleasing a soulā¦not even herself because her ābasicnessāā¦for lack of a better wordā¦is enough! She donāt got to keep her waist tight. Forget fashionā¦.usually whatever this green eyed monster (as in jealous individual) sees her friend OR her enemy wearing is what she will be putting on next. The basic bitch doesnāt have to have a personality! As a matter of fact, if one took a deeper look into her mentalā¦the basic bitch has a personality of wet paint drying on a wall! Men (really boys) will choose her over driven women every time becauseā¦lets be honestā¦.the basic bitch takes no issue with having a man climax all over her face! Yum! Cum Shotsā¦she exclaims! So much about the basic bitch confuses me. She doesnāt even have to set hair appointments cause to be honest no man gives a damn what she looks like. Forget a mani or pedi! Them toes havenāt been touched in decades unless upon request! These boys know sheās not going anywhere and thatās why they love her! And her self esteem is that of any person within 50 feet of her. She has no real identity! And thatās her real charm! The basic bitch would be forgettable if not for the fact that she lurks behind us strong, driven, and beautiful women! Sheās simple minded and just about anything pleases her but donāt you dare call her out on herā¦ābasicnessā because she will deny it every step of the way! Still even with all her negative traits, thereās one thing I admire about the basic bitchā¦.she never has to be anything but basic! So here I am on day 5 of not wearing any makeup nor dressing up and a little voice is sayingā¦Kingston, you should have started off your day with a 5 mile run, showered, dressed to the nines, and then took yourself out for a shopping spree and a great lunch! So here I lay in all my āunbasicnessā feeling bad about neglecting myself for the last 5 days! Oh the guilt is real! Iām currently dressed up in a beautiful dress (at home lol) blogging, working on my blog anniversary project, and preparing myself for the rest of my work week! Oh why oh why canāt I be basic?! Iām still not wearing any makeup but my skin is glowing and I feel more like my normal self now that Iāve ditched my house clothes. But why oh why canāt I have some of the same freedoms of the basic bitch?! I would sleep better if I had no goals and didnāt have two careers! Oh the basic bitch must feel so restful all the time! On days like this, when Iām short on sleep and obsessed with my projects being executed to perfection, I dream about temporarily being a basic bitch. But even Kingston Jael Michaels canāt live out that nightmare for too long! Iām a BOSS!?? So onto the next project with probably another sleepless night ahead of meā¦.I still got time thoughā¦to shout out my basic bitches!? ~KJM on Charm School Monday sayingā¦.oh how I wish I could be basicā¦even for 5 seconds lol ?
