A few months ago, I was speaking with a male associate, who is in his early 40s, about relationships. He dropped some serious knowledge on me…that my gut told me was true and so close to home. My male associate said that IMMATURE men (pointing this out so that my mature male readers don’t lose their damn minds lol) have a set formula for choosing the girls/women they stay with. Regardless of whether the immature boy/man loves this girl/woman…he will put her through hell and back to make sure she loves him! ? You see…we all want to be loved…even these immature boys but only a mature man can reciprocate love. ?? Child….did you all just read what I wrote?! An immature man still wants to know he is loved…even if he is incapable of love himself. Woosa! Woosa! I got to breathe in and out deeply because this explains my entire dating life (from ages 15 to 37)! Thus, the woman that an immature man ends up with is not necessarily the one he truly loved. She’s just the doormat that stayed and gave life to his mess…thus allowing him to not mature nor ever grow. NOW WAIT A MINUTE! A woman is only responsible for her own self growth so what we not going to do is lay the blame of an immature man on her lap…that is until she lays there as his door mat. In the form of a doormat, she now becomes something she never was. This doormat buys into the less than lie (that she is less than her man and can never measure up) and thus allows the formula of being less than to grow because she did not demand her worth. Woooo child…imma about to fall out! Been there! ✋? Done that! ✋? Was never meant to be no doormat though! ?? Praise be! ?? If you do not believe that there is some truth to this less than theory….let’s test it out in real time. Y’all remember that video of “Pastor Gray” and his wife where his wife starts to sweep the stage as she claims she “prayed over that strange woman” her husband cheated on her with.??♀️ Really ma’am?! The strange woman you needed to pray over was yourself! You allowed your husband to take NO accountability for his nasty dirty ways! And I truly believe this wasn’t his first time nor will it be his last time cheating on you! All the Lamborghini’s in the world cannot replace a faithful, loyal, and trust worthy husband! Pray on that! And if you cannot get there “First Lady Gray” at least keep that mess to yourself. Do not try to sell it to millions of women! Infidelity is an accountability thing. Your husband took his vows…not the strange woman (who ain’t that strange since she got to easily known your husband biblically)!??♀️ But I digress. I cannot save the wives praying on strange women instead of holding their husbands accountable as well. I just cannot. ??♀️ But what I can do is ask myself if I truly believe that I am less than (which I don’t) and make moves accordingly (which I did months ago quietly and in my own way). Ladies (whether you are married, single, or dating), what has become of us? Why did the less than formula work on most of us for a period of time before we moved on? I get that we are nurturers but we cannot continue to nurture a lie! We have to hold these immature boys accountable and get ourselves ready for a man who was getting himself together just for us. I long for that mature God fearing man who loves to travel like I do and who would love to call New York home. And let the church say AMEN every time we aim to step into our higher purpose instead of settling for less. ?? ~KJM on Charm School Monday. I know it’s been a while but I was just preparing myself for what’s to come. Peace, love, and blessings to you all in 2019. ❤️
Archives for January 2019
Recently I’ve been reading a lot of articles/blogs from people in their early 30s feeling confused. In my 20s, I never felt left behind nor ahead of others. Then in my 30s (from the jump), I woke up one day always feeling “a day late and a dollar short” in life. From my career to being a blogger to being a lover…I always woke up feeling short. Through it all though, I stay present in my life from the ups (my vacations and my nieces and nephews) and the downs (almost everything else). To those just entering this decade, you are going to get your ass handed to you a million times but you just got to get up. You got to travel even if there is no one to travel with…you got to keep writing even if people aren’t reading….you got to get out of bed even if you don’t have the energy to…you got to say goodbye to lovers while welcoming the chance of new love at an unexpected time…you got to keep living and believing in yourself. You have to still LIVE. That’s what I tell myself when I board that plane (typically alone), when I take pics in my bikinis, and when I have to start over continuously in my personal life. The journey isn’t really about what we accomplish…it’s really about how much we have grown and learned to love ourselves…. Hang in there! “I am not only a client…I am the president.” Lol. ~KJM on Serenity Saturday.