Happy Temptation Tuesday! With almost the first 6 months of the year behind us…it’s time to do some reflection. A few weeks ago, I was blessed to celebrate the beginning of my 38th trip around the sun (my birthday) in Las Vegas with Harmony!!! And it was glorious! We partied, saw Janet Jackson in her limited residency, and watched Magic Mike Live (our third year). In between the drinks and sweet desserts, I could not be more grateful that the Good Lord chose me to live this imperfect but blessed life! Sometimes I feel challenged and like obstacles are always in my way but in the midst of celebrating my birthday….I am reminded of how far I’ve come! ?? Now that I’ve started my 38th trip around the sun, I want to share some wisdom! Here are 5 things that I have learned on my journey into my late 30s: 5. YOU CANNOT MAKE HIM LOVE YOU!!!! Whoa Chile….say that again for the folks all the way in the back…in the cheap seats! ?? There is no wearing a man (or any person for that matter) down when it comes to true and genuine love! If he don’t love you…he just don’t! Go out and be open to meeting a man who can love you the way you desire! Took Kingston 8.5 years to realize this!!! Don’t be Kingston! ??♀️ 4. SET BOUNDARIES FOR EVERYONE IN YOUR LIFE!!! If you let some folks, they will run off with your self esteem and your draws! ??♀️ No matter who the person is…family, friend, spouse, coworker, boss…set those boundaries!!!! And if they aren’t being met…get out of there! Toxic folks love to bring others down! I don’t care if it’s your own mama or papa…don’t allow that negative energy to seep in. Cut ties if need be! ?? This sounds crazy but you will thank me one day for dropping that little nugget on you!!!! 3. WE TEACH PEOPLE HOW TO TREAT US! To piggyback off of number 4, when we do not set boundaries in our own lives, folks will continuously walk all over us! Every day, how we interact with and react to others….directly and indirectly…teaches others how to treat us! ?? Whoa! This is something I wish I had really paid attention to in my 20s. The more shit you take is the more shit you gonna get! ? Folks watch how much of yourself you are willing to compromise for their company and they dish mess out accordingly! ??? No ma’am! This is not the way to get love and respect. The way you love and respect yourself, your time, and how you manage your life will guide others on how to treat you! ?? 2. SOME FRIENDSHIPS EXPIRE! Some friendships expire like spoiled milk on the damn sell date!!! Meaning you aren’t expecting stank curdled milk (yet) but that’s what you got! Every now and then we all need to take inventory of our friendships! The longer you have been friends with someone is the more you need to ASSESS if this friendship is STILL a positive one for you! I’ve had tons of old toxic friends try to hang on to our friendship under the guise of they have been my friend forever! News flash…some folks don’t know the meaning of real friendships or they suddenly forgot! Friendships are like any other relationships…they are a two way street that should serve as a positive, supportive, and inspiring force! If you are feeling like you need to get to another level in life….tweaking your immediate friend circle just may do the trick! We may have been down for 20 years but I’m evolving and so should our friendship!!! GROWTH! ?? 1. STEP OUT OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE AND TAKE RISKS!!! Remember that growth I spoke about in number 2….well it doesn’t happen when we continuously play life safely. In my 20s, I felt like I could do anything! As I approached my 30s, I noticed that society started limiting me. All of sudden my professional accomplishments did not matter if I was not married with children. First, I kind of accepted that the 30s are going to suck and started to question my entire being. Then I snapped the f*ck out of that negative feeling, started shedding negative friends who supported low self esteem and self doubt, and started to take some major risks in my life! ?? I continued to date a guy 8.5 years younger than me!!!? No matter how that shit turned out…it was a ballsy move that I got judged for left and right. ??♀️ In my 30s, I continued to randomly move around the east coast until I realized that Jersey was and is always home. I started to solo travel, dress even more sexier than when I was in my 20s (tastefully of course), and brag about my vibrators along with all my daily orgasms! ??? And my friends now match my life goals. I like my friends to be ahead of me in every area of life! No need to be the smartest one in my group…nothing to gain from that. And lastly, I am trying to find my career niche….the thing that’s going to define me as the growing empire I know I can be! It’s never too late for growth in all areas of life!! ~KJM is spitting knowledge on Temptation Tuesday! The 30s are the give no f*cks decade! ?? Shout out to HARMONY for out doing all the previous years she’s been hosting my birthday celebrations in Vegas! This journey of my 38th year around the sun started like no other!!! Love you girl! ?
Archives for June 2019
I’m having the most vivid dream. I….just jumped out of it to use the bathroom but it’s the most vivid dream I’ve ever had. My immediate family (mother, father, and siblings) AND extended family (sooo many of my uncles are in it and one aunt…p…and my closest cousin and his daughter are in it). My family is supporting me on a night that I could not get through alone. She’s (his mom) hearing my accomplishments through them and looking at pictures and while she’s hesitant about my age…she is smiling. She’s giving me her approval. He’s even in some of the pictures that my sis gave me to show her. Some of his immediate family (siblings) are there too. Yet he’s in the dream indirectly. She says “when I first saw you…you looked so young but then you said you were 37.” And I replied “I just turned 38.” She says… “oh wow!” Yet still smiles. She’s nodding and i am relieved. Then I jump out of this vivid dream. That was the issue….I was afraid she would hate me because I’m older. He is not ready for kids but he wants them for sure! Since I was 5, I knew they would not be part of my life plan. I’m Auntie and i like that! But for him I would have had 3! And not just to please him (not my style). I’m 38 now and I don’t have the desire to have children at all. What if when he’s ready…I can’t? My lack of desire means I won’t poke and prod myself (no judgement here to all the women who tried hard to have a baby…just pointing out here that my lack of desire matches your desire but in the opposite direction) to have a baby. And you have to give a Jamaican man a biological child. So I let him go…not just because he’s an ass that won’t grow up (lol) but because one day when he does…he deserves to have the children he so desired. I love kids and have raised children (most of you know my life story thus far) but I don’t believe they complete a woman. She has to do that for herself. Give herself meaning first and then decide if she wants to biologically (or in any other way) pass that meaning on. So for everyone who thinks it didn’t work out because of the age difference (some of you can go fuck yourselves for the things you have said to me over the last almost decade….yes I remember)…that’s not really the reason. Life is so much deeper than a number. However, things like religion and children are huge dealbreakers that are ingrained in many of us. Sometimes the best gift you can give someone is letting them go. One day…maybe not today…he will thank me. Oh and for those “you may change your mind folks” (I won’t ever say never)….but I’m 38 now and felt this way since I was 5. There isn’t a baby picture alive that makes me want a baby. Love being Auntie. And there was no man before (and if I know my Gemini self)…there will be no man after…that would make even think once about baring his seed. Only one guy did. Just that one. THE EX FACTOR!!! ❤️❤️❤️ That’s why I stayed all those years. He did the unthinkable without ever really knowing it. I don’t believe children nor husbands complete a woman. Never have. Never will. I just was not raised like that and according to my parents…I came out the womb like that. Knowing what I want. I’ve never even checked up on my fertility. Not once. Been on birth control my entire adult life and walk with condoms too. You can get to 38 without ever being pregnant. Just ask me how and I can guide you! Lol. My motto is dick can fall out the sky at ANYTIME (with consent) so I always got to be ready! Lol. ~KJM is dreaming at 2am, Sunday, June 09, 2019. ? #keepingitreal #mysubxonsciousisbusytonight #icriedthroughwritingthis #iamhuman