A woman who is not your friend or relative owes you nothing. She will always go after what she wants and if that happens to be your man…your beef is with HIM. Now if she is your friend or relative the game changes a bit…
Archives for September 2015
Never call another woman about a man that’s NOT your husband. And if he is your husband…just change the locks and save yourself the time and conversation with some side chick.
Soft tapping rain and humid temperatures. I awoke with my body on fire for something new. With each rain drop, the awakening got more intense. Today’s our first date. I prefer to call it our first outing. Slow and steady wins the race. That’s what I keep repeating to myself. Slow and steady. Slow…and oh so steady. It’s so dangerous when you already have a sexual attraction to someone. You have to slow it down and tell yourself that slow and steady will always win the race. Our connection is so random. I can’t put my finger on the source of the intense attraction. He’s good looking and smart but so are many others. I watched him for 3 weeks after he approached me….not sure what I was looking for. And I’ve let him take my hand on two occasions now. That’s so unlike me. My guard is still up because he’s mentioned it a few times. I still don’t get the connection. He’s not a rebound man because usually I tell those men what’s expected of them from day one and it’s either they deliver or I choose someone else. I’ve no expectations of him except for him to be respectful and gentle. We know each other in a professional capacity and fucking up my money and my reputation are nonnegotiable. Back to slow and steady. Back to moist. Back to…today’s our first outing. I barely slept last night. Anticipation of what’s to cum slow and steady…. ~KJM in anticipation on Hump Day
I confessed that I had not been in a consistently orgasmic/multiorgasmic relationship since I was 22 yrs old. One of my male friends made me climax once right before my 29th bday. Shout out to Bmore for that! But I had not climaxed in years. To the defense of some of my partners, some got frustrated trying. But they tried! I can make myself cum so “she” works. Some of my partners, however, were selfish and made me do all the work or they thought a big dick and long lasting sex could make me cum but it didn’t. Making a woman climax is work and takes creativity. I hadn’t seen my O in so long…don’t know if I’d recognize her. Started to wonder if he would be the one to make her appear?! I guess only time will tell. For now, legs closed but mind filled with endless possibilities.
I realized that our issue was not about the level of commitment you were willing to give. I could wait on all of that because none of that meant anything without you. Our real issue was I could no longer wait to be loved and respected. 5 years and 3 months…I gave love but received none back. It was the worst feeling to love so hard yet turn up empty. Just before my heart completely broke…I exited. I deserve to be loved.
And just like that he took my hand?
I was crying and praying that morning on the train. Headed to work on a Saturday. Crying and praying. Crying and praying. I was wearing a long purple dress from American Apparel. Crying and praying. He introduced himself to me 20 minutes after I stopped crying. But I never stopped praying.
He asked me when was the last time I’ve been in a serious relationship and I said never. Serious to me is meeting a man who has vision and purpose, knows what he wants, and is ready to share that vision with a woman. Serious is being married or at least living together. Serious is understanding that you are going to build a life together. Serious is neither of us looking for other prospects while being with each other. So no I’ve never been in a serious relationship. Generally I’m just attached to some lost soul which says a lot about me.
The beginning is always so exciting. If every man could look at a woman throughout their relationship as he did in the beginning of the relationship…it would be hard for romance to die. I’m looking into his eyes and then looking away. He looks at me with such deep admiration to the point I blush….and I’m not a blusher. And he loves my eyes which is great because they are my favorite feature. You can tell so much by looking into someone’s eyes. I told him I’m a philosopher by heart so my eyes tell a story even when they don’t mean to. This could be nothing or this could be the start of everything. Not knowing which one…I started praying for us. 1 Corinthians 13. I want to be armed this time in case it is the start of everything. Armed with the WORD and aching only for blessings?