Yesterday Junior, Willow, and I had two separate conversations about exes announcing to us that they are doing well…after we long broke up. It made me want to revisit the ex known as Julio! Once again, it ain’t Throwback Thursday nor Flashback Friday but we are still going to go back in time! ?? Hold on to your seat belts because it’s about to be a rocky ride! For those of you who haven’t been reading the blog from the beginning, Julio is my first love that I have known for 19 years! The first 10 of those years we dated on and off…it was a complete roller coaster! It’s these 10 years that I will reflect on today. Julio told me he loved me the first day we met. It was the night of my sophomore semi formal in high school and it was indeed a special night. It took me until about 1.5 years later to return his love though when I reflect on it now…I fell the same night he did…I just didn’t fall easily and fought it every step of the way as a teenager. When we became young adults, that’s when I tried really hard to make things work with Julio. He grew colder and colder over the years and those years will always be remembered as my very own “trail of tears.” Every time we would split up, I would focus on myself and my education as Julio roamed the tri state area for his wife and mother of his children. When I was 15 years old, I told Julio that I never wanted to have children. It took meeting and falling in love with the Ex Factor for me to realize that I didn’t want to have just any man’s child…he had to be my GREAT love! Hands down as scared as I am of being pregnant…if the Ex Factor wanted 10 children then by the grace of God…we would have 10 children! That’s how deep my love runs for him. But back to the story at hand. It was my sophomore year of college and some how Julio had managed to get my apartment phone number from one of my family members. We had been broken up for about a year and had not spoken since. But there my phone was…ringing…and it was him. Julio uttered the words “I am engaged!” And I secretly lost it. It never occurred to me at that moment in time that he went to all that trouble of finding me in State College, PA to tell me he was…HAPPY! Folks…if you take no other lesson from this blog, please take this one…no one who is truly happy has the time nor the energy to find their ex and announce it! There’s trouble in the waters! Trust and believe that! When you are living it….you think…omg…he’s found the ONE! But truth be told that shit was around year 2000/2001 and it’s now 2016…and Julio still ain’t found shit!?? Now I’m not saying this to rejoice! My own personal story hasn’t been easy but as an adult I never did Julio like how he did me. He got several of my family members wanting to beat his ass in the streets for real! But I digress….whoosa! Lol. If you are wondering what happened to his fiancé….she cheated and is now married with children to the guy she cheated on him with! Julio told me this in November 2015 when he said she tried to friend request him on Facebook! Now pause…I swear I’m not laughing. All I’m saying is Karma is a bitch that just don’t care!? She will do you dirty every time. For every tear I cried when he announced his engagement….I am sure he cried double if not triple when that shit fell apart! But wait…it don’t stop there! I’m only giving you the highlights of what happened that first 10 years of us trying to make it work! This one pains me but it must be said. As I’ve mentioned before, at the end of my first year in graduate school…as I waited for my grades from a very difficult program…Julio pulled the rug from under me and broke up with me! Let’s go back before this breakup… As I waited for my grades, I told Julio I was so worried because it was such a difficult program but it was my DREAM program. He suggested if I didn’t pass all my classes (FYI I had never failed anything nor had a reason to believe I had failed but anxiety just got the best of me as I waited), I could take time off to give birth to his children and maybe go back to school in a couple years!? When I told him that wasn’t going to work for me, he broke it off with me and that would always be our last and final real breakup! He left me when I needed his love and support! As a matter of fact, in the 19 years I have known Julio…he had only showed up for me ONCE and that was when all the craziness was going on as I tried to run from the Mister Toss Salad relationship! Other than that, Julio was never there for me! He even handed my heart over to the Ex Factor! The Ex Factor supported me in small ways that he will never understand how much it meant to me when I had finished graduate school and was on my face financially! The Ex Factor took what he had and fed me…physically and emotionally while Julio looked on with his money in hand just watching me suffer! Now y’all get why in January 2016 when Julio asked me to give him another chance…I told him about Elijah and refused to take Julio back! In 2007, he broke my heart and my spirit and must forever live with that! I healed but not because of him and his selfish ways. Julio left me to die yet I thrived! God is good all of the time!?? Interestingly enough, the Christmas of my second year in my graduate program…I was in the mall with Junior, Brenda, and some of my cousins. We all split up to shop for Christmas presents for each other. I didn’t know until a few days later when Junior broke the news to me…that he and one of my male cousins had ran into Julio…arm in arm with some chick. That was probably 6 months after we split for good! He was never arm in arm with me shopping anywhere. I cried and cried. This woman went on to be pregnant for him many times but they were never able to bring a living breathing baby into the world. Even with all the hurt Julio brought to me…I would never wish anyone such pain. I am really sorry for all their losses.?? And so Julio moved on and on. Moving in with this one and that one. Treating them all like gold when I was nothing to him. It’s 2016…and he is still begging me to take him back! Not only am I not in love with Julio and am no longer attracted to him, but I would never want such a man as the father of my children. He’s not good enough and the way he treated me over the last 19 years as a boyfriend, lover, and friend is living proof. I promise you I rejoice in none of this. I am sorry for the things he went through chasing love with others while running away from a good and solid love. Julio said love, marriage, and children would continue without me…and so far…they haven’t. I try to remember all of this while I interact with the Ex Factor. You see…I am the Julio in our situation. Each time…he takes me back and asks me little questions but there is always an emotional price to pay. He is more closed off and less trusting each time I come back. ? The Ex Factor has put me through a lot but he has never left me nor told me any woman was higher than me…that wasn’t related to him. So I try to gain patience because I now know that love will never do without him. No Phoenix, no Mister Toss Salad, no Elijah, and damn sure no Julio will ever replace the Ex Factor! So I take what I have learned and try to apply them to my life. I could waste my whole life waiting on the Ex Factor to grow up but if he is in fact the love of my life…no day will ever be wasted. Each day, instead, will be our “Voyage to Atlantis” and we will always come back to each other. It’s a huge risk…but by being patient and putting in the work…what I’m actually saying to the Ex Factor is…“Our friends think we’re opposites Falling in and out of love They all said we’d never last Still we manage to stay together There’s no easy explanation for it But whenever there’s a problem We always work it out somehow Work it out somehow They said it wouldn’t last We had to prove them wrong Cause I’ve learned in the past That love will never do without you Other guys have tried before To replace you as my lover Never did I have a doubt Boy it’s you I can’t do without I feel better when I have you near me Cause no other love around Has quite the same ooh ooh (ha ha ha!) Like you do do do do babe They said it wouldn’t last We had to prove them wrong Cause I’ve learned in the past That love will never do without you” by Janet Jackson ~KJM on Temptation Tuesday saying thanks to all who supported the Ex Factor and I. And thank you to all who doubted us! We…are…still…standing ? 

I felt my spirit leave my body several times. I didn’t even know the body could do that while being alive. Was I alive? It felt like a death. I was overlooking my own body as he smiled and held out his hand. How did I get here? It wasn’t because I didn’t love myself. Lord knows you can make a wrong turn even if you love yourself. Yet I was watching myself die while I convinced myself and my loved ones that I had to go with him. And he smiled on…offering me things I had never received from someone else before. They weren’t things I couldn’t provide for myself (love, security, money) but they were things I felt I had been robbed of in my last situationship. So my spirit floated over my body and I felt like I was going. Still I smiled on and ignored my previous heartache. It felt good to be wanted, needed, and worshiped. I should have known that anyone God sent would only be worshiping God…not another human being. Silent at times…I did not know how to get out. I couldn’t scream…after all he was giving me the promise of being loved. Needed to catch my breath but when I was with him…he hardly left me alone. I went everywhere with him. We went to sleep together and I awoke with this deep feeling of emptiness. Oh the emptiness. It was that feeling that let me know what I had done…I had sold my soul to a living devil. I had lost hold of me. Trapped…I felt trapped yet I smiled for everyone because my life was now filled with worldly goods. Mutual friends and associates that knew him hinted that some things were off. Yet I ignored the signs because my broken heart and my spirit were both now floating over my body. How do I get them to rejoin my body? How do I become whole again? I’m floating…I’m going…I’m dying inside. Was the abandonment I felt with my love (the Ex Factor) so bad that it gotten me here? Why didn’t I just talk to the Ex Factor about how was I feeling?! I ran because I always run…and the devil caught me. Trapped so trapped and when God saw me slipping…He said it wasn’t my time to go and He sent protection for me. It was at that moment that I saw my chance to run away from danger. And I bolted. Lost parts of me on the journey and now my heart was aching but my spirit, mind, body, and heart were all joined again. The pain was too much to bare as I stayed awake nights I should have been sleeping. I was safe now. On my own again. I could take that breath now. I could free myself from the memories but the guilt followed me for years. The guilt of selling my soul…the guilt of not seeing the danger…the guilt of not protecting my mind, body, and soul…it haunted me. What if God had not come for me? Where would I be now? No one and nothing is worth selling your soul…intentionally nor accidentally. So I took another breath and I started to rebuild my life. It was just a few months spent with the devil but I’m forever haunted by the fact that I could have lost my life. Jesus thank you for truly being a fence! ~KJM on settling with Mr. Toss Salad and experiencing some of my darkest hours before I got out. This is one of the greatest Charm School lessons I have to share with you. Not everything that glitters is truly gold!????

Recently, a close friend of mine ended a relationship with a guy she knew from high school but had bumped into years later. The break up was quite dramatic (on his part and his baby mother’s). My friend is a classy woman so she did not go there with them. She wished them well on getting their family back together. Once she was off the phone with them, however, she had this sudden instinct to google him and found a couple of mug shots…one of which was a charge/conviction for sexual assault on a child! Yikes! The shock of this person not being who he portrayed himself to be hit my friend hard! I mean this man has children of his own! ? My friend and I spoke for hours this weekend and something she said struck a cord in me and suddenly I knew what today’s Charm School lesson was going to be: all that glitters isn’t necessarily gold! ?? As my friend relived aspects of the relationship and tried to get over of the shock (not that the relationship ended but that of his double life)…she mentioned she was never attracted to him and did see some warning signs but nothing that could have ever prepared her for what she found out! I then asked why she gave him a chance if there was no initial attraction? She responded…it was the way he treated me. Then a light bulb?went off for me! It’s not Throwback Thursday nor Flashback Friday but sometimes we have to take a random spin back in time to learn a HARD lesson. Let’s go to February 2013 and to Mr. Toss Salad! Y’all remember him from my never settle quote? The penis I felt but never ever dared to look at because I didn’t like the way it felt in my hand! Now let me pump the breaks here. If you are a man reading this, I am not putting Mr. Toss Salad down because we didn’t work out! I’m simply stating my mind frame while dating him. Elijah and I didn’t work out either and I would never take his looks nor his dick size away from him. Those areas were really a none issue with Elijah. I say this all to point out that I’m not a bitter woman going after a man that it didn’t work out with. That’s not even my style. Now back to that toss salad! In December 2012, I seriously felt that the Ex Factor was seeing someone behind my back. For months things were off and he seemed to have no time for me. I’m not saying he slept with her (and he still denies this fact) but for me it felt like he was falling for someone else! Any woman IN LOVE with a man will tell you that where his dick goes is important but where his heart goes is crucial and devastating! I asked him over and over if there was someone else and he said no. But I could feel him pulling away and the day after Christmas…I cut the Ex Factor off without any warning. I cried through the streets of Midtown Manhattan and would call my same female friend mentioned in this blog on my lunch breaks. I was a mess as I ignored the Ex Factor’s texts. And so I pushed myself to move on. I wasn’t ready to date and I made that clear to Phoenix…and later on to Mr. Toss Salad. This was the one time in my life that I knew I wasn’t ready to date. Still February 14, 2013 was around the corner and I wanted to go visit a city that singles ruled! I randomly chose Atlanta…home of Mr. Toss Salad. I knew him from college (when he tried hard to get with me) and even though he was a man…I was never attracted to him so I was never worried about dating him. We had kept in touch through Facebook since college so I hit him up and told him I’m coming to Atlanta. Mr. Toss Salad knew I was going through a breakup and told me that I could stay with him for the 4 days I would be in the A. And no we did not sleep together on this weekend! Papa Michaels didn’t get it. I usually spend part of Vday with my daddy. As we were having brunch, Papa Michaels was like…“I don’t get you young folks! In my day, if I’m spending Valentine’s Day with a woman, I’m hitting it!” Truth be told, same probably goes for my generation but when I put that pussy pad lock on…no liquor…no amount of wining and dining can unlock it…unless I’m mentally vulnerable. I’m a very purposeful woman when it comes to sex. This was the ONE exception. I went to Atlanta and literally had the best Valentines Day I had ever had. Mr. Toss Salad requested that I be dressed up when I arrive in Atlanta. He had the entire weekend planned out and it was all a SURPRISE JUST FOR ME! He picked me up in a 3 piece gray suit (now he could kill a suit for sure! Can’t deny that) and when I got in his car, some of my gifts were waiting for me. And yes I had a gift for him. I bought him and my daddy Valentine’s Day gifts. Papa Michael did not raise a woman to get catered to but never cater to anyone else! I wasn’t showing up to the A empty handed!?? From the airport, we drove to the Fox Theater to see the Alvin Ailey Dance Company! I was blown away! What an AMAZING show! Like I literally teared up…that’s how moving the show was!?? After the show, we had a late night dinner at a very romantic Italian restaurant where he ordered for me (which I never let a man do). He was nailing the things I liked and I am such a particular person! When the bill came, I reached for it. After all…he wasn’t my man…he was my friend and he already paid for the show. He quickly took it out my hand and paid it! Mr. Toss Salad then said in all the years he’s been taking “women” out for Valentine’s Day…not one of them 1. Ever bought him a gift and 2. Never offered to pay the bill for dinner! I guess at that moment he saw something he had to get meanwhile I was just happy to not be focusing on my broken heart and the Ex Factor. The next couple of days were filled with breakfast in bed (even if he was at work) and it was Lent so Mr. Toss Salad paid close attention to my dietary restrictions on the Friday…filled with Spa Days…big lunches with family and friends…strip clubs (it was the A?)…and more gifts! I’ve dated some great men in my past but NONE catered to me like Mr. Toss Salad. I will remind you again that even after this 4 day extravaganza…I still never slept with him. He did, however, convince me to give him a chance. Let’s go back a second…while in Atlanta…I heard from the Ex Factor AND Julio!!! My last morning in Atlanta, Mr. Toss Salad begged me to let the exes go and give him a chance! He was sure he was my husband! I didn’t know what to think. He wasn’t my type and there was no physical chemistry for me but I was beginning to think that was my issue…liking the pretty bad boys and not giving other guys a chance. So I told him I’m still not ready to date as he told me the time was NOW. So much happened in the months I went back and forth to the A. There’s so much I want to say but don’t want any more drama from this situation. I will say, however, I’m lucky I got the fuck out of Atlanta with my damn life but um…Jersey don’t play. While this man was wining and dining me, tossing my salad GOOD (remember I never ordered that shit), introducing me to friends and family as his WOMAN, came home every night with gifts for me….even a dozen peach roses (remembering that I don’t like red roses), holding me for hours, and telling me I was THE ONE….he was living an ugly double life!!!! You fill in the blank here! I can only tell you my version of things…I’m sure he has his truth (if he can ever find it). For me (just like my female friend) it wasn’t about the fact that the relationship was over (Thank God for protecting me)….it was more about that this person was not who I thought he was! I spent the two years after this mess self reflecting…during which I randomly moved to Richmond, VA. The Ex Factor stayed close by (kept in touch)…even with me leaving him with no notice and throwing the Atlanta relationship in his face one time (one time too many). During that time, I didn’t date, kicked it with Phoenix a bit, and kept in touch with the love of my life…not quite understanding how we got here. Shit wasn’t easy and I fell apart for a while before I got right. Shout out to Willow, Grace, Harmony, Toi, and all my other family and friends who uplifted and supported me during these dark hours. By the time I moved back to my home state, I was the secure and happy Kingston dating the Ex Factor again! Right back where I started. Should have just worked through it instead of around it. And I know I love that man (the Ex Factor) so much because he never asked me a single question about where I had been and what I had done. All he wanted to know that it was just us again. And it was…for a while. Until we disconnected and then found ourselves again. For the first time, I feel like the 6 years of storms…broke our hearts but gave us the tools to heal them again. I went through hell and back loving this man but some of that hell (like Mr. Toss Salad) I brought on my damn self! From the jump, my gut was telling me something was off and a little voice was saying don’t trust Mr. Toss Salad. But he had a familiar face that I had known of for over a decade. So I accepted his smile…never realizing I was going to be laying down with the devil. The moral of the story here: if something seems too perfect…it just may be! Listen to your gut and run if it tells you so! Both my female friend and I let these guys in because they seemed like perfect gentlemen. They treated us like QUEENS! Even though our hearts weren’t in it…and our intuition said there may be danger there…we didn’t listen. A good man is not going to be without his flaws. While the Ex Factor is not the pay attention to every detail type of guy nor is he the wine and dine type of guy…what makes him perfect is the fact I love him. He’s perfect for me. Not the kind of fake the perfection that seems like one is trying to buy you or make you into a trophy. I don’t have to be perfect for the Ex Factor either. I’m overly emotional and needy (for lack of a better word) when it comes to him…but I can be ME. I’m typically a fucking mess but he’s hanging in there for that too. Y’all be careful out there because sometimes the grass is brown and full of patches on the other side! Also, remember that the devil that has a familiar face can bring you deeper into the depths of hell than a stranger. Don’t ever let your guard down. Protect your heart and your body at all times! Learn for our mistakes! ~KJM on Charm School Monday✌?️ 

Tear stained pillowcases filled your bedroom as you slept peacefully. Every day she would still wake up with a smile on her face and do her best to make sure everything in your world was beautiful. Soon you started to treat her as an afterthought yet you were always the first thing on her mind. One day he spotted her…stunning with a hint of sadness in her eyes…just the type of woman he was looking for. He started to admire her from afar. Not in a creepy way but in the same way that artists who are viewing the Mona Lisa for the first time appreciate her. Imperfect but filled with beauty….they would see even the broken parts of her as breathtaking. And so his eyes gleamed whenever he said good morning to her. It would take her weeks to even notice him though because you were always in her heart. He started a friendship with her. Paying close attention to her likes and her dislikes. It was then and only then did she notice the intensity in his eyes. His dark brown eyes were saying “Come with me! Choose me!” The moment she spotted temptation she started asking you to come to work functions and pay more attention to her interests. At first, she would make suggestions of things you both could do together but something always came up that was more important than her. Each day he drew her in more to the point she was starting to think that he just may be the one for her. Slowly she started to pull away from you but not before sending out warning shots after warning shots that your love was in trouble. Love alone cannot survive. It needs to be continuously watered by faith, trust, commitment, security, and respect. Each time you would ignore the warnings…always expecting her love to be great…greater than yours…enough to keep your relationship alive. She grew tired and bored of her nights with you…while anticipating her mornings and days with him. He loved everything about the way she carried herself. Sexy. Confident. And Caring. He even met her family once (as a friend) and admired how close she was with her brother. He could see that this stunning woman with a hint of sadness in her eyes was a neglected treasure. Soon he made his move. He asked her to leave you and give him a chance. He promised evenings filled with laughter and nights that turned into mornings filled with lovemaking. Moments of him learning her body and tasting and drinking her as if he had been a man lost in the desert for months that was just granted his first meal. Enticing moments of him brushing pass her at work…running his fingers up and down her arm as if to warn her of the passion that will be unlocked from the streets of NYC to his bedroom. No stone was left unturned. This beauty could travel freely to any level of his universe. Speaking of his universe….that first kiss! It was like your woman had not been kissed in a decade. Her lips felt like those of a virgin who had no clue how to turn them into weapons of passion. And when she first tasted him out in the rain…on the streets of NYC…she moaned with each kiss. One night after they went on a date….they were holding hands and laughing as he suddenly pushed her into an alleyway. Surprised…he held up against a building as he ravished her lips and her breasts while soft tapping rain fell. He could not wait to get her alone. He wanted the world to know that YOUR woman was now HIS…and there was no limits to the pleasure he would bring her…no location where he would not try to be inside her. And even over dinner as she enjoyed every bite of her meal he pleasured her under the table with his gentle hands. All of this…and he had yet to sex your woman. He wanted to show her romance. Show her interest. Show her care. Give her time and affection. He wanted to make sure no one could caress her with the intensity he did. This man was no fool. He knew he did not have her heart so he set out to conquer all other aspects of her…hoping it would be enough for her to stay forever. When he worked long hours…he told her that it was for THEIR future. He had no hesitation in telling her where she fit in his life. He wanted her with him always! And on the day he finally entered your woman…her tightness and wet pussy let him know that he had won the jackpot. This pussy had no name tattooed on it. It was HIS for the taking…the enticing…and to mold into hours of succulent pleasure. Your woman had not been TOUCHED in a while. Anyone can sex a woman but this man made sure he took notice and worked his way around every angle of her body. And even though he never made her climax…she appreciated the fact that he put in the EFFORT. He even told her he loved her before you did. Time went by and even though she was no longer yours…you dwelled in her heart. Soon she realized that it was time to move on from him. No love could ever grow there. He focused more on controlling her instead of nurturing the relationship. He thought he could keep her and soon became obsessed with the idea of losing her. But she still left. Not to go back to you but to go at it alone. She wanted her freedom from hurt and disappointment. Then one day, out of no where, you appeared and all the love she had for you resurfaced. Wherever dead and buried place your love laid in the time spent apart, her love for you was still strong enough to fight through all of that. And so you two began again as you promised to never make her feel like an afterthought or second choice to anyone or anything in your life. Things are going well and a new start feels possible. But I beg of you…please check her pillowcases every morning. Never let a single tear fall on them again…for he sexed your woman…and this is his manifesto. He’s still fighting for her but even if he gave up…never forget that there will be others….~KJM on Hump Day! Love purposefully or don’t bother calling it love? 

I started to write this blog then stopped myself several times. This is one of the worst possible times to express my feelings on this topic (in wake of what’s going on in Orlando) but it’s been heavy on my heart. Sunday night, I found out from my best friend, Zack, that an ex friend of ours (Tommy) is getting married soon…to a WOMAN. Now let’s back it up. I was friends with Tommy for four years but all his lying and deceptive behavior killed our friendship shortly after we graduated from college. In college, he told so many lies about me that I lost track…all while pretending to be a good friend to me. He treated Zack like scum too but poor Zack had a hard time understanding the fact that Tommy is a piss poor excuse for a friend. To this day, Zack tries hard to forgive and understand Tommy. I can sort of understand why Tommy kept Zack at bay in his adult life. You see there was a time Tommy wasn’t staying at his apartment with his college roommate and we would call searching for him. He told Zack he was staying with Autumn and I in our EFFICIENCY apartment (wtf) and then told me he was staying at Zack’s (who had a long term girlfriend living with him). Zack isn’t the type of person to let a lie slip by him. So he investigated…only to find out Tommy had a MALE lover in Zack’s building! Yes you read that right! Zack knocked on the dude’s door only to find him and Tommy answering the door in their boxers! Zack was so hurt he called me up yelling! We weren’t mad Tommy was gay/bi sexual but we were hurt by all his lies! I mean one time Tommy told me he got crabs from a hotel room! I actually went to the doctor with him to support him but looking back on it…Tommy was playing the hell out of us! In college, he had two girlfriends…one before we found out he slept with men and one after. To my knowledge, he never told either that he also slept with men! When Zack and I confronted Tommy about his biggest lie (FYI he claims he is NOT GAY), he said he could never come out because he already had a younger brother openly gay (which his family loves and supports) and didn’t want to disappoint his family by not having at least one male carry on his family name. I just didn’t think this was a good reason to deceive anyone especially a loving family…not to mention all the unsuspecting women who were being exposed to Tommy’s unsafe sex practices! Before I could get in too deep into his web of lies, I ended my friendship with Tommy. Our friendship did not end because of his sexual orientation…it ended because Tommy tried to destroy me by spreading more lies about me…all while telling me our friendship would never be over. He’s just a lunatic! A selfish delusional lunatic! I have not spoken to nor had contact with Tommy since 2004. He never even showed up for Zack’s wedding despite the fact that Zack was always flying out to different states and supporting all Tommy did. Now back to present time…Since Zack gave me the news about Tommy’s up coming nuptials (which he found out on FB through a mutual buddy) I have barely been able to sleep. Has Tommy become more truthful? Does his bride to be knows he also slept with men? I just keep thinking about her and asking the Lord to deliver her if she does not truly know who she is marrying! I have many gay friends. Some openly out/married and some that never talk about their personal life but just don’t date the other gender. I support people living in their truth! And I understand that we all hide things about ourselves but isn’t this level of deceit of high concern?! I keep thinking about her. Does she know? Does she want to know? I hear she is from Nebraska and the wedding will be in her home town. I pray a Nebraska wind comes through that shakes her spirit and raises her consciousness. I know it’s none of my business but two boys (that I know of for sure) tried to make me their beard. God did not allow me to stay in those relationships past 3 months. HE sent a wind for me and when it hit my face (more so the second time as I was an adult then)…I followed. I never questioned the angel that came to rescue me and I never looked back. We all deserve to spend our lives with our true soulmates. No one is ever perfect but I would rather we trust each other with our secrets and learn to build from there then to be lead to believe I married one person only to wake up looking at another. Once again, I know this is none of my business but it’s so heavy on my heart and mind. Dear Miss Nebraska, I love you and I don’t even know you. I love you enough, as my sister, to pray for your deliverance. May that angel come visit you and may the force of the wind be so strong that your unborn children feel it. ~KJM asking…if it were you…would you want to know? It’s Hump Day…please let me know how you feel as I’m so conflicted.