It’s Throwback Thursday and I’ve been working nonstop. Yet this blog keeps me going. It’s suppose to be over 90 degrees and very humid in the Tri State area today. Let’s turn up the heat here at Kingston Expressions! Today I’m focusing on dirty talk in the bedroom. I love the show “The Golden Girls!” So many life lessons for women can be learned from that show…especially about sex and friendship. There was an episode where Dorothy (my fav) admitted that she has never talked dirty in the bedroom. “I’ve always wanted to talk during sex but there never seemed to be good time,“ paraphrasing Dorothy here. I’m not sure of where I learned to be vocal in the bedroom but I do know that the day I lost my virginity to Julio, during all the pain and bleeding I whispered “never hurt me.” So I guess it was always in me to represent myself during one of the most intimate moments of my life. Though I think I learned how to talk dirty when I dated the bad boy (aka crazy) in college. He kind of molded me into a sexually aware yet assertive woman. Climax after climax….multi orgasms after multi orgasms gave birth to my voice. He wanted me to tell him what I needed and to take initiative in our sex life. That’s when I learned how not to be a lazy lover. Shout out to crazy! Now back to the art of dirty talking. I know women who have never tried it. There’s some fear there…perhaps the fear of not being viewed as pure. For others, sexual violence in their life silenced them. Jesus be a fence… Then some women were just never encouraged to voice their opinions on anything in life…much less sex! I find kinky talk in the bedroom to be freeing. I’m very dominate and have no issue with saying what I need him to do. And I love to describe what I’m about to do to him and then act it out! ?? Dirty talk with the Ex Factor is my favorite! When we started dating, he was 20 and I was 29. My sexual assertiveness with him made me feel like a mad scientist in a lab.? I am getting moist just even thinking about it. The first time I acted out what I text to him and his eyes rolled to the back of his head…I…I…fuck I’m climaxing now just reminiscing! ? This is a part of our sex life that we NAIL! The Ex Factor understands (and I think appreciates) my NEED to be in control…dominate in our sex life. Love that about him. When our communication is good…our sex life is GREAT!?? Now that damn Elijah is another story. He likes to control. He also did all the dirty talking the last time we slept together almost 9 months ago….and only the 3rd time we had sex…and coincidentally the last time I would ever let him touch me! He kept saying “fuck me” and I got so turned off (for many reasons…stay tuned for that quote) that I barely finished him off with a hand job that even a geriatric could have done a better job of.✌?️ My hand became limp from his dirty talk or really anytime Elijah spoke. ?Ugh. He had to help me finish that hand job too. Lol. At the time, I felt mortified by my part in the whole experience but now I’m just mortified about his part and laugh about mine. But I digress…back to dirty talk. Here are 5 pros and cons of mastering the art of dirty talk: 5. TAKING THE INITIATIVE TO INTRODUCE DIRTY TALK INTO YOUR SEX LIFE! PRO: It can open a door of ecstasy for you and your new partner. CON: Introduce it too soon into your relationship before you find out what the other person likes to hear and it can be a huge turn off! I suggest you slowly have a conversation about it before venturing into this territory. The goal is for it to enhance the sexual experience for you both! Communication is key here! 4. SO NOW YOU KNOW SHE LIKES DIRTY TALK IN BED SO YOU TURN IT UP ANOTHER NOTCH BY USING SOME NEW PET NAMES! PRO: Kinky? CON: Tread lightly when referring to a woman as a slut, whore, or cunt in the bedroom! I am a freak but to a hardworking career woman like myself these words are a HELL NO! Matter of fact leave bitch at home too cause I don’t want to have to tell you bout your mama! Some words are okay for some women and not okay for others. Check with your woman before you get slapped or worse…before she closes the pussy shop. 3. USING DIRTY TALK OUTSIDE OF THE BEDROOM! PRO: A great way to signal that it’s time to go home and fuck when you are out in a public place. This can be exhilarating when done right because it’s a secret language that only you two share. It’s a universe you created together…just for each other. That’s sexy! CON: Don’t use derogatory words outside of the bedroom and/or in front of others. I may be cool with some things in the heat of passion and not cool with those words in every day life. Learn the difference between fantasy and the real world… 2. NEW PARTNERS AND DIRTY TALK! PRO: You are still adventurous and ready to please your new partner in any way. You are ready to freely express yourself. And that in itself is magical. CON: No two partners are alike! Your last spouse loved when you said you would toss her salad but your new one just lost her appetite! She won’t be eating salad for a month now! Shit chips and climaxing just aren’t her thing. Learn each partner accordingly. Don’t assume that the same sexual phrases that turned on your last girlfriend will do the same for your new girlfriend. The same should be said for sexual positions! ?? 1. EACH WORD IS ACCOMPANIED BY AN ACT OF PLEASURE! PRO: Normal words have now turned into words of passion. You two are directing each other to the land of ecstasy…word for word! There’s a new depth to your love making. These words transform what was already a great romance into a climactic force that no one outside of your universe could ever compete with. He touches you and you express your yearning for him. It’s clear that he’s the one for you. He doesn’t have to wonder. You are telling him and guiding him to your land of pleasure and that’s what dirty talk can do for you both in the bedroom or wherever you decide to make love. Sky’s the limit! CON: Choosing to remain silent about your sexual desires may be a sign of other communication issues in a relationship. Believe it or not…most of us do have things we want to express when we have reached the height of our pleasure…the climax. Maybe some things aren’t politically correct but you will never know unless you embrace the conversation outside (first) and then inside the bedroom! Welcome to the pleasure zone?~KJM saying talk dirty to me (Ex Factor) on Throwback Thursday?