āI know a dude named Jimmyāā¦.we met while I was in graduate school. Prior to meeting Jimmy, I spent 2 years being celibate (unless you count the endless amount of time I spent pleasuring myself?). Jimmy was cute and sweet but since I had sworn off men for the last two yearsā¦I wasnāt trying to get into a serious relationship. He tried to date me but I insisted he just fuck me. Jimmy cooked for me and sexed me whenever I wanted. Did I mention how fine he was?! He had a built body tattooed out. I didnāt even know what part of his body to start at when fucking him. I could look at him all day and while he was not a school person, Jimmy had a trade and ambition to go with it. All in all Jimmy was a nice get my feet wet and get back in the game gift. He had one flaw though. Jimmy had a crazy ex girlfriend who just couldnāt let go. He rarely spoke of her but said they were still friends. She also let her social network presence be known all over his page. Still I stayed cool because Iām just fucking him right? One weekend I went away to attend a friendās wedding. I text Jimmy while I was there but he seemed very distantā¦even downright distractedā¦which was very unlike him. When I got back in town, Jimmy wasnāt replying to my texts so I decided to catch the movie āThe Family That Preysā at a theater near Jimmyās apartment. Now I know what you are thinkingā¦no I was not stalking Jimmy! The movie had been out for a long time and as luck would have itā¦the only theater still showing it was a small one near Jimmyās place. As I was making the 30 minute drive, I even joked about running into him but never in my mind did I really think I would spot Jimmy there! After the movie let out, my two friends and I stood in front of the theaterā¦just in time to see Jimmy and his ex girlfriend pull up to look closely at the movie times. Wtf?! One of my homegirls walked up to the car and started pointing and yelling. All I could do was stand there laughing. I mean he wasnāt my man but we did say we were only sleeping with each other. So I stared them down laughing. Jimmy got scared and sped off. I highly doubt that they went back to see any movie. When I got to my friendās apartment, Jimmy sent me a string of texts explaining that he was just hanging out with his ex girlfriend as a friend. It took me 3 weeks to reply. Yea I played it cool and I let him stew in his juices. If you gonna do dirtā¦do it right. Silly rabbit! When I finally replied to him, I never asked about the situationā¦that was a much needed in person conversation. Instead, I asked him to escort me somewhere. Unfortunately, he was out of town. From that point, he started blowing me up and asking to see me. I finally agreed that he could come over one Sunday evening to talk. As Lady Luck would have it, he arrived at my place after having dinner with his sister and best friend at an Ale House. Jimmy came in and I proceeded to sit on his lap. Thatās when I told him to tighten up his game and do better! Iām not going to be out in these streets looking crazy! After allā¦Iām Kingston Jael! Donāt get your dick cut off! Sort of kidding here. Lol. The old me didnāt play. Jimmy swore he wasnāt back with his ex girlfriend and wanted to work things out. I took his word for it because I knew I could replace him easily if his facts didnāt check out over time. He hug me and then got up to leave. Oh no Jimmy! You not wasting my evening with just talk! Fuck me now! So I took him to my bedroom to seduce himā¦.onlyā¦his dick couldnāt get up. This had never happened before. I was puzzled! I know this dude didnāt fuck someone else before he came to my apartment?! Thinking of reaching for a pair of scissorsā¦I started to hear Jimmyās belly rumbling. Not the kind of rumble from hungerā¦more light bubbling. Then beads of sweat started to collect on Jimmyās forehead and roll down his face! I asked him if he was feeling okay and he said no and thought he should go home. I was down with him leaving because I donāt take care of men! If he canāt fuck me then he canāt lay in my queen size bed! Iād rather lay alone! So Jimmy left andā¦.I of course did what every woman would do in that situationā¦started texting my girlfriends about my evening. Before I could send the first text, however, Jimmy called me. His voice was lowā¦almost in a whisper! And thenā¦he said he had made it to the exit of my complex but knew there was no way he was going to be able to do the 30 minute drive home without shitting on himself! I swearā¦I canāt make this shit up! So Jimmy came back to my place and used my bathroom! He was in there for over an hourā¦at one point I even heard him in my toilet tank! What the fuck? Did this Motherfucker really break my toilet?! I laid on my bedā¦texting my girlfriends play by play or more like shit by shit! I wanted to punish Jimmy for trying to play me but KARMA had an even better idea! Shits of indiscretions! Thatās what this blog should have been called! When Jimmy finally exited my bathroom, he quickly left. Iām glad he knew he couldnāt lay his shitty ass in my bed! But Jimmy did leave something behindā¦my fucking bath towel was soaking wet! To this day, Iām not sure how it got wet! From afar, it didnāt smell like shit but he was in my toilet tank! Was there an over flow?! My floors werenāt wet. Did he wash up? I sure hope so not just because thatās the best plausible scenario but also because it sounded like shit was flying left and right in my bathroom! Fml! ~KJM on Flashback Friday saying thank goodness Karma is a bitch! She got Jimmy well! Shout out to Lil Kim for first introducing us to her Jimmy in the 90s: āI know a dude named Jimmy used to run up in me Night time pissy drunk off the henny remy I didnāt mind it, when he fucked me from behind It felt fine, especially when he used to grind itā~ Lil Kimās āNot Tonight.ā
