Oh Picky Selfish Me (The On My Way To Happy Edition)

Selfish! Picky! Miss never satisfied! Too career oriented! I’ve been called these things by women my entire life…and I laugh. Selfish because children and marriage are not a must for me. Picky because I’ve dumped so many guys for MY deal breakers (not the deal breakers of friends and family). Miss never satisfied because I’m always searching for a better version of myself which leads me to search for a better version of my current boyfriend. Too career oriented because I do have a career and spent a great deal of time in school that it seems my eggs will never be used because they are stuck reading some book and researching life! These comments don’t bother me one bit but they are misinformed. Here are 5 myths about myself that I’ve debunked for my readers:

5. SELFISH! I know most men will cringe when they read this but I was not raised to be a wife and mother! The Michaels just raised me to be me in whatever shape and form that makes me happy. This year my parents are celebrating 33 years of marriage and though shit is far from perfect…I clearly grew up in a two parent (married) household. My mother would love to see me happily married but she doesn’t push. And Papa Michaels tells me everyday that I’m the best daughter I could be…so for him whatever I do brings him happiness. They brought me to the United States when I was 3 years old. Their dream for me was an unlimited one. Like I always jokingly tell people, ‘I came here documented so that means I’m in no rush to marry!’ There’s a misconception that I’m not open to marriage and a family. I have become very open since 2015. Lol. Yea it’s a brand new feeling. And it has little to do with age and more to do with some of the things the ex factor (when he was at his best) brought out in me. I loved him (for better or for worst) more than I’ve loved any other man I’ve dated. The potential I saw in him was more than I saw in anyone else. But there came a point where I had to acknowledge that that potential is for another woman. My gut tells me I’m not meant to be his wife and the mother of his children and I walked away being okay with that. I moved on and slowly started to fall for Elijah…though I never fully gave Elijah my heart. I tried to but at the end of the day, something always felt off. Selfish to me is to marry a man and have a family just because women around me feel I should! That’s beyond silly. If I ever embark on either marriage and/or parenthood…it will be on MY terms. So maybe that is selfish of me to just live to only please myself. How dare I? Lol.

4. PICKY! I’ve had people say to me that I don’t really know what I want…I just know what I don’t want. There’s some truth to that. I had no idea I had an issue with cheap men until I met Elijah! I did, however, know his controlling ways weren’t going to work for me but I still tried to make it work. I will agree that what one wants and what they don’t want doesn’t always amount to the same things. But who the hell knows everything they want? My analysis always starts with me. Everyday I’m learning more and more what I want in a spouse. And yes the list is long but I don’t ask anything out of any man that I’m not willing to do for him in our relationship. 2015 and on…I’m on the relationship tip. I have room for a good boyfriend in my life now. So prior to 2015, I may have broken up with some guys because it was a windy day and then again…some of them motherfuckers had to go! I have no regrets about the men I’ve left. If it was meant to be…it would have been. Just having a man ain’t enough! It has to feel right and with all those in my past…it never quite felt right. So on to the NEXT! And trust me….there is already a NEXT! Slow and steady wins the race! I’m in no rush to do a thing but live for myself!

3. MISS NEVER SATISFIED! I’m very high maintenance when it comes to how I treat myself. For example, I take myself on the best vacations, I have routine manicure and pedicure days, and I regularly schedule ME time for myself! Yes ME time even though I’m single! It’s time where I’m not working, working out, nor doing things for others. It’s my meditation time during some of my favorite activities like traveling! So I’m never satisfied with how I please and pamper myself but I expect nothing from others. I do for myself always. I’ve learned that no one celebrates me like I do. So the “never satisfied with a man” is a myth. I just want my boyfriend to be the best version of himself and bring that into our relationship. If I don’t feel it and see it…I’m out eventually. Maybe I should be titled “Miss Never Settle?” Lol.

2. TOO CAREER ORIENTED! I’m laughing just writing this one! Yes I’ve been blessed to have a career but it’s not my true passion. I’m more excited about blogging! No career is taking me away from husband and family life. If you know me personally, you know that if I want something, I make it happen. I’m just letting God decide if it’s meant to happen. I’m open but if it doesn’t happen…I’m open to that too. Apparently this concept makes many women uncomfortable. That’s really a shame since I’m pretty happy with my life.

1. THE BIOLOGICAL CLOCK (A BONUS)! I think it’s a myth that all women have a biological clock. I’m almost 35 and while Auntie Kingston loves the kids, there’s never been one I’ve held that makes me want to go out and get pregnant. I’m convinced I don’t have a biological clock. Either that or it may tick when I’m like 60…at which point I’m prepared to get a puppy. Lol. ~KJM on Hump Day saying there’s more to me than what meets the eye. I do want it all but am prepared if I don’t get it all. What I won’t do is not aim high just because society tells me I should just be happy some man wants to marry me. I sure feel like burning a bra after writing this blog! “I am woman! Hear me roar!” Lmao!