I’m touched. First date. Deep conversation. Had he ever been in love? Yes….twice. We were in a quiet restaurant drinking wine and beer as I asked him his deepest secrets. He responded by slipping his hands in between my legs. I’m touched and climaxing right there at the bar. People laughing and talking around us as I cum. I want to resist because that’s what good girls do. We don’t cum in bars as we whisper into the ears of a potential partner. His hand is getting deeper. Touching a part of me that has not been touched in years. I yearned to be wanted. It’s been so long since I’ve been touched. He’s…taking…me….there. I’m touched and I want him. Climaxing and thinking I have to have him. I’m in trouble. Too soon to be touched. ~KJM after our official first date
Eyes meet even though I’m trying to avoid his deep gaze. He wants to taste me. I know this because his eyes are asking permission. And I want to hold off. Eyes meet again only now he’s pulling me close. Lips meet. No lips lock. He’s…tasting….me….and I’m…breathing….him. Eyes closed. Our tongues are speaking…anticipating. He tastes like home. Like home on a stormy day. Like listening to the rain falling on a summer day from my bedroom window. There’s a deep yearning. The kind I never even knew existed. We are now tasting, breathing, and enticing each other….
KJM on Temptation Tuesday
I go to bed at night feeling like we’ve made love a million times. It’s a beautiful thing when a man makes love to your mind and spirit way before ever touching your body.
KJM in the beginning and in between night time dreams
I want him to know who’s BOSS. So I carefully dressed in a long skin tight navy blue dress that said “Live, Laugh, Love.” It was my way of saying….Welcome to the island of Jamaica. If you so choose…feel free to partake in the fruit of the land but don’t you ever disrespect its QUEEN. Shout out to Mama Michaels for purchasing this dress for me a few weeks ago! Lol
KJM in anticipation
There’s this weird thing my body does. I’ve only seen my body do it once before (summer 2010) and just now. Just by looking at the object of my affection I gently climax. How do I know it’s happening? Just saw my new object of affection and then shortly after went to the bathroom. After I peed…this clear substance emerged from my body and there’s a lot of it. OMG! I’m in trouble. With one look, he’s hit my gspot!
KJM trying to slow the sexual connection down
A woman who is not your friend or relative owes you nothing. She will always go after what she wants and if that happens to be your man…your beef is with HIM. Now if she is your friend or relative the game changes a bit…
KJM on Hump Day
Never call another woman about a man that’s NOT your husband. And if he is your husband…just change the locks and save yourself the time and conversation with some side chick.
Mama Michaels on Charm School Monday
Soft tapping rain and humid temperatures. I awoke with my body on fire for something new. With each rain drop, the awakening got more intense. Today’s our first date. I prefer to call it our first outing. Slow and steady wins the race. That’s what I keep repeating to myself. Slow and steady. Slow…and oh so steady. It’s so dangerous when you already have a sexual attraction to someone. You have to slow it down and tell yourself that slow and steady will always win the race. Our connection is so random. I can’t put my finger on the source of the intense attraction. He’s good looking and smart but so are many others. I watched him for 3 weeks after he approached me….not sure what I was looking for. And I’ve let him take my hand on two occasions now. That’s so unlike me. My guard is still up because he’s mentioned it a few times. I still don’t get the connection. He’s not a rebound man because usually I tell those men what’s expected of them from day one and it’s either they deliver or I choose someone else. I’ve no expectations of him except for him to be respectful and gentle. We know each other in a professional capacity and fucking up my money and my reputation are nonnegotiable. Back to slow and steady. Back to moist. Back to…today’s our first outing. I barely slept last night. Anticipation of what’s to cum slow and steady…. ~KJM in anticipation on Hump Day
I confessed that I had not been in a consistently orgasmic/multiorgasmic relationship since I was 22 yrs old. One of my male friends made me climax once right before my 29th bday. Shout out to Bmore for that! But I had not climaxed in years. To the defense of some of my partners, some got frustrated trying. But they tried! I can make myself cum so “she” works. Some of my partners, however, were selfish and made me do all the work or they thought a big dick and long lasting sex could make me cum but it didn’t. Making a woman climax is work and takes creativity. I hadn’t seen my O in so long…don’t know if I’d recognize her. Started to wonder if he would be the one to make her appear?! I guess only time will tell. For now, legs closed but mind filled with endless possibilities.
KJM on Temptation Tuesday (and still in the beginning)
It’s something very difficult to say to a man and so I didn’t. I let him have the last words. And I didn’t drop a single tear because I really needed this chapter closed. I let him accuse me of always wanting more than he could give/was willing to give. Essentially I let him make me the bad guy. I did ask for a heartfelt apology but was greeted with a half ass “I’ve apologized in the past.” I called it a break that we needed but I knew better. This entire summer I’ve been warning him that I’m turning cold…not wanting to feel his touch. He said he did not understand. This had happened to me once before…where I had to explain to a man that he had emotionally bruised me so much that I was no longer physically, emotionally, nor mentally attracted to him. Only big difference in that situation is we were not in love with each other anymore and we were just spending time together. I don’t think he believed me then either. Now back to my current situation. I couldn’t bare to tell him I spent the last week dreading seeing him and purposely put it off. How I got physically sick when I saw his text messages asking me how my day was. How I got tired of asking people to support us and pray for us. How one Saturday morning I was on the train headed to work praying and crying under my dark shades. And how shortly after this man appeared out of no where (a few minutes after I stopped crying)…I slowly began my exit. I don’t know if this person was sent by God or the devil but I was disappearing. I saw a door open. At first, I thought this was the old me coming back again. The old me would carry on two relationships simultaneously because I’m not married and believe in exercising my options. I had been doing that since I was 15. But I was disappearing and my personality was way too large to stay in the “take what you can get/try to change a man I’m in love with" club. That’s like not my style! I’m not even sure how the fuck I got here for so long…5yrs and 3mths of making a wrong turn. So I unintentionally began my exit. And there was no way I could look at my present situation and say you abandoned me and so here we are. I think I’ve found someone else. You just can’t say that to a man. I also couldn’t say that when we end on a Tuesday night, I will be giving my new conquest my business card on a Wednesday morning. I didn’t dare say that. I let him agree to the break but not before I begged him never to put another woman through this shit. Either get your stuff together and be the man she needs or walk…the fuck…away! I’m unique that way. Always worrying about the woman behind me. I only want to hear good updates (if any). I would hate to find out she cried as much as I did or more. I cringe at the thought. And I pray on it. As for me….I learned a lot. Especially that opportunity waits for no woman. I’ve also learned that you can leave a relationship/situation long before you physically leave it. I left him emotionally December 2012 and June 2015. Yea there won’t be another date. Lol. Business card in hand and ready to make moves. Stay inspired my friends! When one door closes a few always swing open 🙂 ~KJM baring my soul on Hump Day