Kingston Expressions

Writer, Editor, & Lifestyle Blogger: Sex, Lust, Love, Celibacy & More 🥰 A woman not afraid to walk in her truth....in style of course 👠 💄

The Case Of The Worst Tasting Sperm (The What The F*ck Did You Eat Edition)

by

Warm snot! Battery acid! Egg whites! Salty yogurt! Dishwater! These are just some of the ways women on thoughtcatalog.com described it! ? What am I referring to? SPERM! ? Contrary to popular belief by many men…it is NOT a woman’s dream to taste your sperm…unless they are referring to a NIGHTMARE! I for one try to avoid giving a blow job whenever I can! For the record…for most of my life I have never liked any white sauces! No ranch! ✌?No bleu cheese! ✌?And damn sure no CUM! ✌?A few years ago…I finally started eating caesar dressing. And that’s the ONLY exception to the no white sauce rule! Now back to cum! ? Yuck! Julio, my first, had cum that could fill up a fucking bucket! No way I was gonna be guzzling that shit! ? And thank goodness neither the Ex Factor nor I are into oral. He’s never done it to me (lazy lover) and I suck at it (no pun intended) so I’ve been retired for years! ?? When I was in the game, I did not do it to every man I slept with. I keep my numbers low on both accounts. Not because I’m some prude but because so many men suck in bed. If he wasn’t a snicker’s bar (a guaranteed climax for a chocolate lover) I won’t even try him! ✌?Just because it’s a big penis (for those blessed to have one) does not mean it will do you right! I have NOT seen my BIG O vaginally since May 2010 with Phoenix so that tells me how rare snicker’s bars are! But I digress! ? Back to the topic at hand!Dudes are so quick to talk trash about what a woman’s pussy look, taste, and smell like while we hide our truths in silence! ? Most of y’all Sperm taste like battery acid, old taco sauce, or moldy cheese! So NO…it is NOT delicious! I’m gagging just thinking about it! We may moan for your pleasure but we are seriously about to throw the fuck up! The other day one of my homegirls (who shall remain anonymous) had a HORRIBLE first sexual experience with a dude talking mad trash about how good his dick was. Once the itsy bitsty teeny tangerny thing (his dick) came out…the sex was horrifically whack! So much went wrong! Too much to even touch on in this blog. Dude thought he was performing in a porno as the lead when he was really the water boy on the set watching the production! ✌? He kept arching my homegirl’s back and forcing her into uncomfortable positions that he could not pull off! THIS IS NOT COOL for so many reasons but gonna leave it alone for now. She was so dry and unsatisfied that she made him stop. To see if the sex would get better, she popped the tangerine in her mouth. I’m not sure why she felt the need to bless him this way because I would have ended the whole damn thing with one of those less than stellar geriatric hand jobs I gave Elijah after he rudely shoved the rabbit (type of vibrator) in me without my permission. No mouth nor vagina is rewarding bad behavior! ✌? But that’s just me. Elijah really gave himself that hand job but that’s a story for another time. When dude started cumming, he proceeded to force my homegirl to swallow his cum. Where is my fucking machete?!!!! ??? NOT COOL! Fucking violation…you dirty dick! To top it off, his cum tasted like shit! My homegirl asked him what the fuck did he eat that day as she began to choke on the sewage! ? He claimed he had some KFC! ?Dude don’t blame the Kernel for your bad tasting cum! Your diet and hygiene are probably off as fuck and you dare force my friend to taste it?!!! You bloodclot rude! ??? There was no treat in this whole night for my friend. But bad sperm killed her whole week! BOYS…just know that we women discuss shit like this and we name names too! Yea you with the bad tasting cum! We are on to you! Get in the gym and start eating less processed foods! You nasty hoe! No one likes a dirty smelling nor tasting dick! So glad I prefer Popeyes over KFC because I’m just so fucking disgusted I may never have eaten fried chicken again!!!! May he have 10 years of bad luck…no blow jobs for him and hopefully a lifetime of blue balls! ~KJM hates male hoes who ain’t shit! Happy Hump Day and remember boys…a healthy diet goes a long way!

Intimacy (The A Little TMI Edition)

by

Well I finally got laid! And it was not another episode of the Sleeping Penetration! Lawd knows I could not survive that without ending up on snapped! Baby boy (The Ex Factor) was wide awake and even though we were short on time … we made the most of it. It wasn’t the all night session I generally require but it did the trick! And you know what I realized?! I am a fucking psycho!!! For the last 4 months, we have fought and tried to improve our communication along the way. While the arguments were ugly and my feelings got all the way hurt (still taking him at his word) … we almost completely stopped touching each other. The Ex Factor wasn’t counting but I damn sure was! In the last 4 months, we have had sex THREE times, including last night. I don’t remember much about March because my work schedule was so crazy I could barely find time to tie my shoelaces but I know I found some time in my 90 plus hour work weeks to do him. Y’all know May was…well…. (see Sleeping Penetration blog), and then last night. When he’s not touching me…I fucking lose it. My mind wonders and I’m like what the fuck is he doing?! And if you have known me for a long time….you will know that I have laid with the male pimps and hoes population before and never got jealous. The Ex Factor is the only dude that I will get crazy jealous of the chick that just gave him his McDonald’s meal in the drive thru! Like she smiled a little bit too much when she handed him his fries! I was never like that with Julio and I damn sure wasn’t like that with Crazy who was probably sleeping with half of Penn State’s female population when we were dating! I always remained calm, cool (well as cool as I could be), and collected (unless somebody crossed me). Lol. I’ve grown up so much. For someone who grew up around so much infidelity, you would think I would be able to trust no man. But it’s very few that I cared what they did. So I never gave trust to begin with…coupled with a lack of real feelings and you get a woman who was unbothered…that is…until now. There’s always a first time for things! But I digress… The thing that was so wonderful about yesterday was the INTIMACY was exactly what I needed…before and after the sex. We felt in sync…even if it’s just for that one moment in time! I was breathing him and he was breathing me. That knot in my chest (probably from ignoring him all week) had been lifted and we could just be. And that’s where we were…just being together. Problems and all but just being. It was a good feeling. I could put all the stressful stuff about work and life behind me. And that is what the Ex Factor is when he’s at his best…he’s like the rainbow after the storm. That’s why he is so hard to leave… ~KJM on Flashback Friday? I am realizing that having just communication without any physical touch in your relationship/situationship is just as bad as only having the physical with someone. A loving touch goes a long way to back up kind words… 

P*SSY Costs (The Maintenance Fee Edition)

by

Dear All, the following incident has been brought to my attention! Oh we are going to THROW it way Back today! Y’all remember the song that said “no romance without finance?” No truer lyrics have ever been sung. Boys and girls…if you did not know…now you do know that… PUSSY COSTS! Maybe not always a monetary amount but if you pet the pussy the wrong way (physically or emotionally) there will be a price to pay! For example, I have never shut down shop as much as I have with the Ex Factor! Fully shut down production! Nothing going in without a damn warrant! ?? Dudes be tripping nowadays because a lot of confused little girls got them thinking that dick is everything! ? How can dick be a reward when it must stop and take breaks?! For real! The vagina on the other hand (and I’ve tested this theory) can go for 8-10 hours with one bathroom break…bringing pleasure way into the wee hours of the night until daybreak! ?? That is why a woman is so dangerous. She has the POWER to bring pain or pleasure with that vagina of hers. Sometimes…depending how kinky she feels…she may bring pain AND pleasure! ?? Yesss…the old skool generation was onto something…something lost in the current generation. Many of us out there just giving pussy away for free with no standards set…no terms that WE drafted up! Like how the fuck is that possible? I admit…even I sometimes forget the power of the vagina…like in my recent negotiations with the Ex Factor. Sometimes love clouds our judgement and that’s understandable but to just be pure stupid and give the penis all this power is unacceptable! ?? Dick is as loyal as the wind patterns sometimes and if you have been following global warming…you know the wind cannot be trusted! Still…how did penis get to claim the power that only the vagina has?! How did mistresses get permission to come out of the trick closet and be celebrated? I don’t play with people’s husbands! I hope that I have made that crystal clear! If he’s trouble for her…he will damn sure be trouble for me! And nobody got the damn time to be cleaning up that kind of mess! ✌? And y’all know I’m retired from the boyfriend borrowing business now for almost THREE YEARS! Though I admit…I felt stronger in my pussy negotiations when I had Phoenix in my back pocket! ?Still…I’m walking the walk and enduring the heartbreak on my own. GROWTH! ?? Blind-sighted by pretend love, lies, and distrust…I got sidetracked from acknowledging the power of my pussy. And let me be clear on something else…anyone who has a vagina has this power. It’s all about how we exert it. Dudes want to get f*cked like they are in a porno but don’t want to spend for a 2 for 10 at Applebee’s! ??✌?? GTFOH! ✌? And some how we women are allowing it to happen! Well boys and girls I’m here to remind you that there is a MAINTENANCE FEE for PUSSY! Sometimes there is INTEREST on that fee! ?? The question is…can you afford it?! ? Whether the vagina is in love or not…that power is still there. What’s caused an inflation amongst the stock of vaginas…are the girls laying on their backs for any and anyone…not even getting off in the process! ?We cannot give men this much power over us. I’ve been on strike so long that I completely lost interest in the penis. ? A tickle here and a tickle here does not make a happy vagina. Quality time, care, understanding, commitment to the process of the vagina (even if it’s just for that one night), loyalty, and trust! ❤️ These are just some of the things that make the vagina happy! Each woman is so different, beautiful, and vulnerable but never weak! ?? Never forget that! So if you don’t want to be getting hit with high interest rates….pay that maintenance fee for the vagina and worship her like it’s your last day on Earth! ?? Signed, Pussy Management ~KJM on Throwback Thursday…saying we will be watching you! ?

The Ain’t Gettin None Crew

by

Usually I save these kinds of posts for Hump Day but the urgency is real. In my early 20s, I had the best sex of my life. Shout to Crazy and Phoenix! Then mid 20s to late I did some celibacy years (by choice). At 29, I met the Ex Factor and my sex life got exciting again. He was 20 and full of energy. Not to mention I fell in love before he had even touched me so that first kiss sealed the deal that sexually we were compatible. Feeling like sexual soulmates at one time. ? I never had a legitimate orgasm with him but something about my body and his…seemed made for each other. I craved him in a way I craved no other before except…maybe Crazy. Never thought there would be a day where I would rather eat a hot fudge sundae instead of doing him. And my latest climax comes from taking a Bobby pin and scratching in between my tracks! ??? Hey…that’s better than not climaxing at all right?! Lol. I can feel Harmony tossing and turning in her sleep on the West Coast as a result of the madness I’m spitting! She’s all about the sex and I use to be too! Maybe I just need to have a random fling with someone exciting? ? Those days been gone. I reformed about two years ago…so for the first time in a long while I don’t have a dude waiting in the wings. I mean I meet men of all races daily but it takes a lot to catch my attention. Penis alone will not make me cum. At this point, I crave the intellectual stimulation as well as the physical. This is what Phoenix and Crazy had in common…the ability to mentally and physically stimulate me. Crazy was a man of the streets but if he had had the right upbringing….he could have been a brain surgeon or a scientist. That’s what attracted me to Dallas too…his intelligence though we never slept together (even after coming pretty close). It’s tough if that person is your real friend. You don’t want to fuck things up with sex and we knew that. So we did not take it there. Maybe if we had…I would have realized that he was my husband. It was the most dangerous game we were both playing. Had others at home waiting on us plus I had Phoenix too. It was a sexually greedy time. So to tease with him or to get into it but never to seal the deal is probably why he’s so memorable. But I digress back into yesterday’s nostalgia post. ? I feel like I’ve accidentally joined the marrieds. Heck some of y’all may be doing it more than me. In the last four months, the Ex Factor and I have only had sex twice and one of those times was the sleeping Penetration episode and the other time was forgettable because like I don’t remember but I know it happened. Our communication is at an all time low and every day I wake up yearning for someone else. Some man that appreciates me and who would never leave my bed/our bed unless he knew I was satisfied. One thing I can give Julio is he always tried even if I didn’t reach my peak. He tried! But I spoiled the Ex Factor from the jump (big mistake) and now I feel emotionally and physically neglected. I know the two are connected. I don’t feel valued so I’ve lost interest in our sex life. And while he’s patient…he’s a terrible listener. The Ex Factor hears what he wants. And that leaves me dry… still are folks getting a lot of sex? If so write in about it! I want to hear about true passion! Reading about it is better than nothing! Lol. ~KJM is part of the Ain’t gettin none crew on Temptation Tuesday! I’m now living vicariously through my readers. ? Feel free to write in if you aren’t getting any either! 

Any Consensual Sex Is Good Sex? (The Sleeping Penetration Edition) 

by

I just spent 7 AMAZING days celebrating my birthday with Harmony in Vegas. This annual vacation became a tradition in 2013. If you aren’t following one of the KJM social networks…please do! I have posted some photos of my vacation. As always, when East meets West…shit gets crazy. The first topic we tackled was “The Sleeping Penetration” aka the bad sex I had with the Ex Factor over a week ago. According to Harmony, consensual sex is like pizza….“any pizza is better than no pizza…thus any consensual sex is better than none.” ? I stared down at my very unsatisfied vagina and questioned Harmony’s theory. Bad sex is still good sex?! I just don’t know about that. To Harmony’s defense, she is able to easily climax (I am so jealous) while I have legitimately not seen my Big O since May 2010 when Phoenix summoned it after us not seeing each other since 2004! I still remember that birthday sex! ? The energy he put into it…was nothing short of a miracle. That’s why I call him my doctor….only thing he cannot heal is a broken heart! Anything else….Phoenix rising got me…legs over my head begging for mercy. ? So for women like me…where vaginal orgasms are scarce (unless I’m getting myself off)….it’s hard to believe that bad sex is better than no sex! ? But if I were Harmony….I could see how that theory could work. While I was in Vegas, I watched the Magic Mike Live show (A MUST SEE) and Zumanity, a sexual Cirque du Soleil. Both shows taught me something…I’ve become a lazy lover too. I mean not as bad as the Ex Factor….because I’m still considering his sexual desires while he completely ignores mine but…I have not yearned for him in years. I don’t surprise him anymore….have sex with him any time and any place…and even though I will occasional wear a nice lingerie set….that’s really more for me than him! ? As a matter of fact, I’m probably on Mars most of the time when we have sex. (Still better than when I use to black out during sex with Julio at the end of us seeing each other! ???) Mind was just somewhere else but since he will always get off…I never felt guilty about barely being present during sex. Since, I don’t get off…I get very frustrated at his sexual performance!? With that being said….is bad sex better than no sex? I really have no clue. Each person will have a different answer. Sex seems to become a chore for me in my longest situations like Julio and the Ex Factor while it was always fun and exciting with Crazy and Phoenix. One thing I can say about Crazy and Phoenix is…they took their time studying me. If at any point I’ve been a great lover…it’s from both of them teaching me things. Crazy introduced me to the Big O and multiple orgasms (wonder if I will ever experience either of them ever again) while teaching me to be assertive. Phoenix taught me how to ask for my deepest nastiest desires while showing me that it was okay to receive them! ? I was never in love with Crazy nor Phoenix but there was an intellectual, sexual, and dare I say it…spiritual connection between me and them. They got me on all levels except matters of the heart. So my Big O does not have to be tied to love (I use to think it was until it became apparent who I was in love with and who I was not) but it does have to be tied to someone who cares enough to take me there. Neither Julio nor the Ex Factor cared to. I remember Julio getting so frustrated with me that he could never give me an orgasm. ✌?However, he was not trying to please me….he was chastising me. ? The Ex Factor, on the other hand, has probably never given my lack of orgasms any thought because he was always getting his. ? And over time, as a result, I’ve become a lazy lover too…doing the bare minimum to get the chore done! ? I miss the excitement of sex but even with all the guys I met while in Vegas…I decided random sex wasn’t going to quench my thirst. I needed my doctor (Phoenix) but am very serious about not going down that path again. (I haven’t seen him since September 2014). You must get me intellectually and bring me into a realm on sexual consciousness that I’m just not sure exists anymore. Still…Harmony’s words haunted me. “Sex is like pizza. Any pizza is better than no pizza and even bad pizza is good pizza.” Of course, I probably should have mentioned at the beginning of this blog that pizza is my least favorite food…. ??? ~KJM on Throwback Thursday. Is bad sex better than no sex at all? Is bad sex still good sex because sex occurred? Editor’s note: Elijah is on the worst sex ever list! My asshole is still healing. Nothing about him nor the rabbit was great! ✌? 

The Sleeping Penetration (You Will Not Reap The Benefits Of Love Edition)

by

It pains my heart to write this but it must be written. I have degraded myself (once more) for the Ex Factor and things just did not pan out. If you missed my most recent blogs…let me give you the synopsis. A year ago yesterday (May 23, 2016) the Ex Factor told me he loved me. In April 2017, he took those words back by saying he cared but was not in love. Even though those words tore my heart into pieces, staying angry at him left me with many sleepless nights. So I accepted his ugly truth and forgave him for hurting me as he has forgiven me for things many times through our 7 years of knowing each other. As far as the depths of our friendship, I asked for us to be platonic friends and he agreed. My birthday is coming up and we haven’t had sex in almost 3 months! ? I closed the pussy shop without thinking about my need for Birthday sex! ? So I cracked open the door for us to do it because (1) I’m not down with fucking strangers while I’m on vacation. My puss is way too good and way too tight for that, (2) there are two possible guys I wouldn’t mind getting to know better but I’m starting slow with real friendship and seeing if there is any real potential in either one of them, and (3) I have loved the Ex Factor for SEVEN years and love (at least not for me) does not go away easily. So I cracked open the pussy pot. ? BIG MISTAKE! This dude came over (for the second time) and fucking SLEPT! I mean he did a little diddy (I think) and then passed out. Who the fuck told him he could go to sleep?! Did I look tired? Did I signal it was okay to take even a cat nap?! Now I’ve been complaining about our sex life for the last two years. Emotionally I’m fucked up by him so sex has been a dreaded chore like laundry…but this time sex wasn’t even a chore. I get that if a dude hasn’t had sex in months…first round goes quickly. I’m cool with that but up until two years ago he could always out do me in rounds 2, 3, 4, to 5000. ?? That was one of the benefits of going younger!!! I use to brag about our sex life! But now it feels like married people sex! No offense to the marrieds but I’ve heard enough stories to scare the hell out of me for the rest of my life about how sex can decline in a marriage! ? And trust me I know this does not apply to all marrieds! ? But the Ex Factor and I have lost our spark. I use to think it was my fault but yesterday (after losing 18 pounds) hair was done, nails done, and I was dipped in baby oil and Victoria Secret’s Love Spell looking like Naomi Campbell’s cousin in my navy blue one piece lingerie with the g string in the back. Coupled with this tight ass pussy and some 6 inch black heels…a boss chick could not have been more ON! ?? I was moist off of my damn self before he even came over! ?I even FaceTime my sister, Brenda, before the Ex Factor came over because I was looking too fucking great to waste all this chocolateness on the Ex Factor alone! ?? It was the most confident I had felt in years and what was it greeted by? MISTER SANDMAN! ??? Like what the fuck?! Let me break something down to the men reading this! I am not a bitter woman and I do love the Ex Factor but he is not my husband much less my boyfriend so he gets no such protections from me excluding things out of my blog. He wanted something more casual so I delivered! I took my heart out of it and was like I’m gonna fuck him! I achieved my goal but he goes to sleep?! ?When I loved him, I never would pick apart one sexual act. I would be like…my man is tired and worked all day…so he needs some sex and sleep! BUT when he took love off the table, that meant he became my jump off! Phoenix was my side dude (on and off) since 2004 and I dare that dude to fall asleep before he wore my ass out! Even when he was in professional school, that dude had me stringing from the lights while reviewing one of his class lectures! Phoenix played his position! ?? He did not have love nor care to protect his ass so he made sure he laid the pipe well so that I would come back to him! ? That was his only job! ? So if the Ex Factor wants something casual…he does not get the right to lay his ass up in my queen size bed and sleep when the queen is still wide awake and ready! He no longer has the protections of love! Men, know what you are asking for. If feelings are out of it…you have to be able to fucking deliver! ??or ✌? It hurts my soul to be writing this but if you recall…at the start of this blog I stated that I degraded myself by even laying with him so if I have to lay in my ugly truth…why the fuck doesn’t he?! Now I’m at the airport…horny. Not a good way to be. Bet his ass is missing love now! ?? ~KJM on Hump Day! I’m guessing I have raised a lazy lover! ? 

The Break Up Kit (Kegels Run The World Edition)

by

Well you knew this was coming! My Break Up right before the summer guide! ? It hurts my heart that the Ex Factor and I have gone our separate ways for what feels like the millionth time and though I cannot know if this is really our finale (He has 9 lives and right now he’s used up 8)…I prepared for it. For the last couple of years, I have been so unhappy with him but that never stopped me from loving him. And even though I’m sick of being hurt by him…when he told me he loved me last year and we made actual love (don’t know if any of this was truly real)…it felt like everything! ?? My heart lived outside of my body and I loved every minute of it. The JOY was so much stronger than the pain but the pain was weighing us down. Sigh… Two and a half months ago, I started preparing my Exit Strategy aka my Break Up Kit Guide. Here are 8 Things I did to prepare for my Break Up: 8. SELF LOVE! Take some time to fall in love again…with you! Instead of thinking about what you could have done differently in your relationship…take this time to hold yourself close and love on yourself. If you can love yourself….true love with someone else will hopefully follow! ?? I have spent time being grateful for all of my blessings. Being in a place of humbleness and thankfulness are my ways of saying to myself…you did your best and you are an amazing person! I am currently reading for fun and letting my imagination remind me that all is not lost! Love is on its way! ? 7. CLOSED UP THE PUSSY SHOP! I sexed the Ex Factor some time in March for the last time. After that last time, I made every excuse in the book why he can’t cum get some of this good good. Keep reading the count down and you will understand why. ? He is a really patient guy so this was easy to do. There were things going on at my job and I had a family emergency so I had some valid excuses. Pussy shop got to be closed from your soon to be ex. You can’t send him off with a last taste of that pum pum. He’s still going to think it’s just for him! Shop closed! ✌?6. PLANNED A VACATION! Now it just so happen that every year I plan an annual trip for my birthday. This year it came in handy. My trip is coming up and it’s the perfect…”what ex?!“ distraction…”I don’t recall who that is” distraction! I plan on get so fucking sexy that I will make myself moist before my days even start! ?? Vacations with yourself or with girlfriends are a great way to regroup and be grateful for the life you have. So drop that man and book that trip! You may meet your future hubby on it! ? And if not, you will feel great getting out of your comfort zone and looking at things with fresh eyes. 5. BEAUTIFY ONESELF! I have my hair, nails, and eyelash appointments all set up over the next three days! Shit! Get that pussy hair curled for its new renter if need be or go completely nude down there! Lol! Do what it takes to turn yourselves on. As women, we have the power to do that. What one man did not appreciate another man will! 4. TRY TO AVOID JUMPING INTO ANYTHING SERIOUS RIGHT AWAY! Now I’m all about dating right away after a breakup. But realize that this next person is probably (there are exceptions to the rule) a rebound guy. Do not set yourself up for getting hurt twice!!! Emotions are high and your heart is probably still with your ex. This is dangerous territory! You cannot replace one person with another! No ma’am you cannot! The rebound guy’s only job is to take you out and make you feel special. Once that goal is achieved…drop him where you found him because he may have even more issues than your ex! ? You are not in your right mind so tread lightly! ? If you aren’t ready to entertain anyone yet, choose some guys you find attractive and start a friendship with them slowly. Get to know them as you get to know yourself. Under true friendship (not speaking of friends with benefits), you may find the man of your dreams! If you go the friendship route, he will learn your heart long before he learns your pussy stroke and those are the things marriages are made of! ?? 3. PACK YOUR BIRTH CONTROL AND CONDOMS! Now I know some of y’all won’t heed the advice from number 4 and will go and fuck down the world after a break up! ? No judgement here…only some advice. Pack your pills and condoms with you even if you do not feel you will be sexually active! I am so tired of reminding y’all that DICK FALLS OUT THE SKY! You must prepare for it and treat your contraception like Visa and MasterCard and don’t you dare leave your fucking house without it!!! ? I know too many people created off of one night stands! ? And to be honest…if you weren’t letting your Ex (who you claim to know) hit it raw…why the fuck let a stranger or jump off do that? Matter of fact let me speak to the men going through breakups for a second! WHY THE FUCK y’all creating ON BREAK BABIES with groupies when you weren’t building a family with your love before y’all split! ??GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER DIRTY DICKS! ??????2. LOSE WEIGHT/GET THAT BODY TIGHT!!! About 7 years ago, around the time I met the Ex Factor, I gained 40lbs and have been struggling to lose it ever since! April 2, I joined a gym and started Weight Watchers. While I have only been to the gym once, I naturally walk 2-3 miles a day thanks to city life. This week is the end of my 6th week on Weight Watchers and at the end of my 5th week, I weighed in to find I lost 16lbs already! ?? I weigh in again on this Sunday coming up and am so excited! And no I’m not starving myself nor doing anything crazy! Just using the Weight Watchers online plan and it’s been working for me thus far! When I am a little further along in my journey, I will write a blog on my experience. Now back to the issue at hand. Get that waistline tight and that ass lifted through squats! Let your ex see from afar what he’s missing while getting ready for your new man! ?? If you have a hectic schedule like I do, build in small strength training exercises around your desk during the work day while increasing the amount of water you drink and steps you take a day! At first, these steps seem like small gestures but if you want to keep the weight off permanently…these little tricks will help along with watching what you eat! ?? I could not have gotten this far without it! So thankful for city life! ?? 1. KEGELS/PUSSY TIGHTENING! Remember in number 7 when I suggested you close the pussy shop? Well it’s because you got to get that pussy tight to erase your ex’s dick print and make room for a new romance in the future! 2.5 months ago, I started my tightening and that’s exactly why I made excuses so the Ex Factor could not cum get some of my good good! Saving that moistness and tightness for a dude who can love me and cherish me! ✌? ~KJM saying that “breaking up is hard to do” while KEGELS are the gift that keeps giving…on Flashback Friday! ? 

The Sensual Pause (As I Whisper To You Edition)

by

I…whisper to you…after a long sensual pause. What I say…only you can hear but I can see myself smiling. I could feel my heart beating fast. I could FEEL. ?? This is how my dream began each night. I could not see your face but I knew you existed. So I locked up this deep desire until I could be sure that you were the one worth waiting for. It’s been years since I was made love to….at least not the kind of love that could fulfill a lasting deep desire. It was like I was starved of any real intimacy and affection and you have now appeared…to feed me a four course meal! ?? Before you…sex was a chore. Yet night after night you visited me in my dreams…pleasuring me…in a way I never thought possible. My pointed and sharp nails digging into your flesh. A flesh…along with your heart…I have kidnapped and made my permanent hostage. And in my prison…lies my heart and my untouched womb just for you to plant your seeds in. Night after night you found me in my dreams. There…was…no…hiding. TRAPPED. Pausing only to whisper to you after you tapped into my hidden treasures. Treasures that I thought would forever be sealed. You, however, patiently took your time unlocking my secret places while commanding my body to flow with yours…position for position. I breathlessly try to keep up…afraid you will take me hostage next…with the captor now becoming the captive. You sensually touch me and after a long pause…I whisper to you. What I say is only for your ears… In this moment…I am vulnerable…allowing you to explore my fears while tasting my tears of passion. I…I…had…never cried during sex. Never felt so many emotions at one time. As I struggle to not reach my peak before you do…I whisper to you. This is the endearing love that I had prayed for. The thing I had once heard was a myth but still I dared to hope was real. And that you would cum to me. That you would be strong enough to seek me. Intelligent enough to teach me. And spontaneous enough to have me craving you and only you for a lifetime. After a sensual pause, I whisper to you. Digging my nails deeper into your flesh. I…I…am marking my territory. No matter who came before me…I am your last…your forever. Can you taste it? It being the feeling of eternity that lies between my heart and my legs. Moist. Sweat. Here comes the pause again. It’s as if I am being interrogated and you are enticing me to tell you all of my secrets. I can barely make a sound! Frozen in a sea of seduction. Legs trembling. Heart bursting. This is why I have to whisper to you. Too weak to say all that is in my heart. Too moist to ask you what took you so long. All that matters is that you are here now. And you aren’t letting me go. ~KJM is dreaming of that forever enticing and seductive yet loyal and trusting LOVE on Hump Day! ? 

If He Does Not Know How To Love…Will He Ever?

by

There’s a deep freeze heading my way and it just may take with it my heart. After writing Monday’s blog (see She Said It Was Amazing) a series of events occurred. Someone posted an unflattering picture of me on one of their social networks and I just lost it. I mean you could not even see my face!? As I was sitting at my desk asking myself why they would do something like that…it dawned on me that I’m not so materialistic to think every photo on social networks must be perfect…so what was the real issue that caused me to cry?! I’m in a process of working on myself. From the emotional to the physical and the picture triggered so many not great memories. I have not felt desired by the Ex Factor since September 2012… As I said in Monday’s blog, he’s very comfortable and it shows. We have had several discussions about it and as far as I’m concerned…he’s all talk and no action. I hit him with my thoughts via text (not the best thing to do) and after a long while he responded about how I was feeling about the photo and NOT about his part in making me feel this way. I feel…INSECURE! If there are any men reading this blog…I’m going to repeat this again for you in case you missed it in Monday’s blog…. That woman that loves you needs to be emotionally, physically, and mentally validated and cared for by you! If you do not heed this warning…your woman will walk away and another man will do your job…easily….?? There’s no amount of dick down that can replace actions of care. As a matter of fact…the more you neglect that woman that loves you…is the worse your sex life will be! ? Sex with the Ex Factor has been a chore for the last couple of years…like laundry…and I hate laundry yet sometimes it’s necessary. ?? This explains why my friend’s story of her current boo got me all kinds of envious and I’m rarely envious! I have been neglected and I’m not sure there is any amount of forgiveness that can get us pass this stage. Now before you go there…let me put you on to a few things. No one every tells girls this but I will. You will probably grow up to fall in love with a selfish and self centered man who will forget everything from your birthday to your anniversary! ?Boys are raised to think only of themselves while girls are raised to think of others! I know this is a huge generalization but roll with it for the sake of this blog. Now like with any rule…there are exceptions! My Daddy is one of them. Growing up, he would remind me not only of the day I was born (a Thursday) but would go on for most of my life calling me at the exact time (12:40pm) I was born while there would be some years my own mother would forget my birthday! ? But for the most part your man…despite his best efforts…will forget things, think you are being dramatic, and will push your feelings aside. Even a more astonishing fact is most wives will lie and pretend that their husbands are so in tuned with their every emotion (FALSE) instead of telling you the real deal about how they overcame these difficult moments! I get marriage is sacred and you cannot let people in on the ins and outs of it but at least remind a sista that men are work! ? Truth be told…only a woman truly knows a woman but some women do get lucky and get men that at least try to learn their women! Most of us, however, will struggle with teaching him how to be emotionally available, caring, consistent, and PRESENT in all moments but especially the difficult ones! ?? The man you love may really love you but selfish self centered asshole is still going to be his middle name. It’s ingrained in his gender! Woosa! ?? Most of us will have huge moments of doubt about whether he loves us, whether we made the right decision of choosing him, will have to practice patience and hardcore forgiveness, and will have to work on not stepping outside of ourselves during those difficult moments! Sigh…I feel so unprepared for it all! I did not grow up seeing great communication between my parents. Matter of fact…even now…they can hardly be in the same room together without arguing! Sigh…so that leaves me to ask…if a man does not know how to love now…will he ever?! ? When Julio and I split many years ago…I left that relationship thinking he treated every other woman better than me. What I came to find out from his continuous single status is um…no. He definitely was not treating them better or else at least one of them would have stayed and married his ass! ?? Goes to show that even with the straight men marriage market being so limited…some sistas will say single is better than married to an asshole! And I agree! ?? But I digress… Can a man learn to love in a non selfish way? I’m not sure. What I do know is I have verbally communicated my concerns with the Ex Factor and it just seems to fall on deaf ears. So while I continue to work on me…he’s over there being the same person! Now I know what you are thinking…I should just leave him and trust me I’m sure the Good Lord knows if and when that time will be. The reason I have stayed put (besides loving him) is because these are obstacles most women will have to deal with…with most men during the course of their relationship! Don’t believe me? Remember this time last year I was asking “do husbands get soaked in the rain with their wives?” That blog was about selfish ass Elijah after I broke up with him! Now he was a special type of selfish, cheap, and controlling but still most men have some of these elements in them. They are more focused on impressing their boys than making the woman that loves them happy. You will be living with and/or married to a big kid for the entire length of your relationship. Many times you will question whether he was stuck on stupid when he does certain things. ? And there will be moments you will want to leave his ass right where you found him! ?? I wish someone had told me these things when I started dating at age 15. Still…the Ex Factor is the most emotionally deficient guy I’ve ever bumped into and I’m just fucking exhausted. I’m beginning to think that a woman’s plot in life is to wish she was a lesbian so she would not ever have to deal with men again! Unfortunately, I’m straight and in love with an emotionally unavailable man. Damn…I’m wondering if I pissed someone off badly in another life and I’m paying for it in this one?! ?~KJM on Hump Day saying…shout out to all the lesbians! Let your thoughts be free…but mostly let your mind be free of men! Lol. Back to focusing on me…?? 

Follow

Get the latest posts delivered to your mailbox: