It pains my heart to write this but it must be written. I have degraded myself (once more) for the Ex Factor and things just did not pan out. If you missed my most recent blogs…let me give you the synopsis. A year ago yesterday (May 23, 2016) the Ex Factor told me he loved me. In April 2017, he took those words back by saying he cared but was not in love. Even though those words tore my heart into pieces, staying angry at him left me with many sleepless nights. So I accepted his ugly truth and forgave him for hurting me as he has forgiven me for things many times through our 7 years of knowing each other. As far as the depths of our friendship, I asked for us to be platonic friends and he agreed. My birthday is coming up and we haven’t had sex in almost 3 months! ? I closed the pussy shop without thinking about my need for Birthday sex! ? So I cracked open the door for us to do it because (1) I’m not down with fucking strangers while I’m on vacation. My puss is way too good and way too tight for that, (2) there are two possible guys I wouldn’t mind getting to know better but I’m starting slow with real friendship and seeing if there is any real potential in either one of them, and (3) I have loved the Ex Factor for SEVEN years and love (at least not for me) does not go away easily. So I cracked open the pussy pot. ? BIG MISTAKE! This dude came over (for the second time) and fucking SLEPT! I mean he did a little diddy (I think) and then passed out. Who the fuck told him he could go to sleep?! Did I look tired? Did I signal it was okay to take even a cat nap?! Now I’ve been complaining about our sex life for the last two years. Emotionally I’m fucked up by him so sex has been a dreaded chore like laundry…but this time sex wasn’t even a chore. I get that if a dude hasn’t had sex in months…first round goes quickly. I’m cool with that but up until two years ago he could always out do me in rounds 2, 3, 4, to 5000. ?? That was one of the benefits of going younger!!! I use to brag about our sex life! But now it feels like married people sex! No offense to the marrieds but I’ve heard enough stories to scare the hell out of me for the rest of my life about how sex can decline in a marriage! ? And trust me I know this does not apply to all marrieds! ? But the Ex Factor and I have lost our spark. I use to think it was my fault but yesterday (after losing 18 pounds) hair was done, nails done, and I was dipped in baby oil and Victoria Secret’s Love Spell looking like Naomi Campbell’s cousin in my navy blue one piece lingerie with the g string in the back. Coupled with this tight ass pussy and some 6 inch black heels…a boss chick could not have been more ON! ?? I was moist off of my damn self before he even came over! ?I even FaceTime my sister, Brenda, before the Ex Factor came over because I was looking too fucking great to waste all this chocolateness on the Ex Factor alone! ?? It was the most confident I had felt in years and what was it greeted by? MISTER SANDMAN! ??? Like what the fuck?! Let me break something down to the men reading this! I am not a bitter woman and I do love the Ex Factor but he is not my husband much less my boyfriend so he gets no such protections from me excluding things out of my blog. He wanted something more casual so I delivered! I took my heart out of it and was like I’m gonna fuck him! I achieved my goal but he goes to sleep?! ?When I loved him, I never would pick apart one sexual act. I would be like…my man is tired and worked all day…so he needs some sex and sleep! BUT when he took love off the table, that meant he became my jump off! Phoenix was my side dude (on and off) since 2004 and I dare that dude to fall asleep before he wore my ass out! Even when he was in professional school, that dude had me stringing from the lights while reviewing one of his class lectures! Phoenix played his position! ?? He did not have love nor care to protect his ass so he made sure he laid the pipe well so that I would come back to him! ? That was his only job! ? So if the Ex Factor wants something casual…he does not get the right to lay his ass up in my queen size bed and sleep when the queen is still wide awake and ready! He no longer has the protections of love! Men, know what you are asking for. If feelings are out of it…you have to be able to fucking deliver! ??or ✌? It hurts my soul to be writing this but if you recall…at the start of this blog I stated that I degraded myself by even laying with him so if I have to lay in my ugly truth…why the fuck doesn’t he?! Now I’m at the airport…horny. Not a good way to be. Bet his ass is missing love now! ?? ~KJM on Hump Day! I’m guessing I have raised a lazy lover! ?