Warm snot! Battery acid! Egg whites! Salty yogurt! Dishwater! These are just some of the ways women on thoughtcatalog.com described it! ? What am I referring to? SPERM! ? Contrary to popular belief by many men…it is NOT a woman’s dream to taste your sperm…unless they are referring to a NIGHTMARE! I for one try to avoid giving a blow job whenever I can! For the record…for most of my life I have never liked any white sauces! No ranch! ✌?No bleu cheese! ✌?And damn sure no CUM! ✌?A few years ago…I finally started eating caesar dressing. And that’s the ONLY exception to the no white sauce rule! Now back to cum! ? Yuck! Julio, my first, had cum that could fill up a fucking bucket! No way I was gonna be guzzling that shit! ? And thank goodness neither the Ex Factor nor I are into oral. He’s never done it to me (lazy lover) and I suck at it (no pun intended) so I’ve been retired for years! ?? When I was in the game, I did not do it to every man I slept with. I keep my numbers low on both accounts. Not because I’m some prude but because so many men suck in bed. If he wasn’t a snicker’s bar (a guaranteed climax for a chocolate lover) I won’t even try him! ✌?Just because it’s a big penis (for those blessed to have one) does not mean it will do you right! I have NOT seen my BIG O vaginally since May 2010 with Phoenix so that tells me how rare snicker’s bars are! But I digress! ? Back to the topic at hand!Dudes are so quick to talk trash about what a woman’s pussy look, taste, and smell like while we hide our truths in silence! ? Most of y’all Sperm taste like battery acid, old taco sauce, or moldy cheese! So NO…it is NOT delicious! I’m gagging just thinking about it! We may moan for your pleasure but we are seriously about to throw the fuck up! The other day one of my homegirls (who shall remain anonymous) had a HORRIBLE first sexual experience with a dude talking mad trash about how good his dick was. Once the itsy bitsty teeny tangerny thing (his dick) came out…the sex was horrifically whack! So much went wrong! Too much to even touch on in this blog. Dude thought he was performing in a porno as the lead when he was really the water boy on the set watching the production! ✌? He kept arching my homegirl’s back and forcing her into uncomfortable positions that he could not pull off! THIS IS NOT COOL for so many reasons but gonna leave it alone for now. She was so dry and unsatisfied that she made him stop. To see if the sex would get better, she popped the tangerine in her mouth. I’m not sure why she felt the need to bless him this way because I would have ended the whole damn thing with one of those less than stellar geriatric hand jobs I gave Elijah after he rudely shoved the rabbit (type of vibrator) in me without my permission. No mouth nor vagina is rewarding bad behavior! ✌? But that’s just me. Elijah really gave himself that hand job but that’s a story for another time. When dude started cumming, he proceeded to force my homegirl to swallow his cum. Where is my fucking machete?!!!! ??? NOT COOL! Fucking violation…you dirty dick! To top it off, his cum tasted like shit! My homegirl asked him what the fuck did he eat that day as she began to choke on the sewage! ? He claimed he had some KFC! ?Dude don’t blame the Kernel for your bad tasting cum! Your diet and hygiene are probably off as fuck and you dare force my friend to taste it?!!! You bloodclot rude! ??? There was no treat in this whole night for my friend. But bad sperm killed her whole week! BOYS…just know that we women discuss shit like this and we name names too! Yea you with the bad tasting cum! We are on to you! Get in the gym and start eating less processed foods! You nasty hoe! No one likes a dirty smelling nor tasting dick! So glad I prefer Popeyes over KFC because I’m just so fucking disgusted I may never have eaten fried chicken again!!!! May he have 10 years of bad luck…no blow jobs for him and hopefully a lifetime of blue balls! ~KJM hates male hoes who ain’t shit! Happy Hump Day and remember boys…a healthy diet goes a long way!