Year 2014. Everything was hazy for me. I was in Richmond workingā¦yetā¦I saw him over the holidays (2013). He still felt like home. How is that even possible with all that I have been through? I travelledā¦.this time to Houston and Chicago to visit college friends. If you remember nothing else from chapters 4 and 5, please remember how important friendships are!!! I am lost yet my friends are helping me to find my way. God bless them for it. ā¤ļøI made great friends in Richmond as well as deepened some friendships I had had for over a decade. From the outside, I was now struggling to hold onto my blue/green eyeshadow.? It felt like himā¦.familiar AND strange. Yet I have not completely outgrown my eyeshadow nor my love for the Ex Factor. I think this is the year I finally made peace with some of the romantic mistakes the women in the older generation of my family made. For it was now my turnā¦to truly love a f*cking fool. But I wonāt let him destroy me for he is just a boy and I am a queen. In 2014, I aimed to step into my destiny without him clouding my mind. It wasnāt easy but I finally broke away. Being over 340 miles away helped. Soon I put him on my block list and I emerged in a sea of black and white styles in the city of Chicago. I danced the nights away with Willow and I soaked up life without him. āNo boyfriend, No problemā was what one of my Chicago (and Vegas 2013) dresses read. My dresses were either missing a sleeve or showing off my beautiful legs or BOTH! My mama always said I had amazing legs! So I show themā¦from the south west to the mid west to back to Richmond. I emerged. I stepped forward! ??Phoenix did hold my hand a little but I never allowed him to be my foundation. After all, that is not what I was in Richmond for. Matter of factā¦.why the f*ck had I accidentally moved there? Oh yeaā¦the universe gave me no choice. I was meant to live this chapter out in Richmond and I had such amazing friend groups. I could breathe again. I could be me again. Iā¦couldā¦stop loving him? Still I am in a haze but I am crying less and smiling more. His texts are still reminders of my love for a jerk who just could not appreciate me. So the last couple months of the year, I kept him blocked on my phone. Somehow, he figured out how to get around the block and over the holidays (2014), he left me a voicemail. He never callsā¦for he is a texter. ? Ugh my next boo better love phone calls! ?? When I finally saw the voicemail pop up, I realized he had left it a few weeks before. With no plans of listening to it, I felt the sensation of anger creep up on me. How dare he still make contact when I made it clear that I did not want to hear from him! This was MY time! How dare he?! I mean I wanted to let him know that I am the type of woman that men line up to wipe my assā¦if need be. Lol. Iāve woken up to breakfast in bed, came home to receive ājust becauseā flowers, I have been wined and dined, and I have been the RECEIVER of pleasure of every sexual act Iāve experienced while away from him. I have made lust in a million positions since I walked away from his touch. I am the type of woman that men donāt say no to. Thatās really what I wanted to yell into the phone. But when I finally listened to his voicemail, it said nothing reallyā¦just that he was coming to the Carolinas for an interview and hoped to see me. Wtf?! The Ex Factor really does not listenā¦.I AM IN RICHMONDā¦.NOT the Carolinas! ??āāļø?? While his voicemail irritated the depths of my soul, when I heard his voiceā¦.a voice I had not heard in a yearā¦all I could think isā¦.I LOVE HIM! ā¤ļø FML ? ~KJM dropping Chapter 5 on Temptation Tuesday. What is so memorable about fools in love? Is it that they are in love or that they are f*cking fools! ??āāļø
Almost A Decade Of My Love And Styles: Chapter Five, Year 2014 (A Special Love Week Edition)
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