Time and time again I get complaints from people around me that I am AGGRESSIVE! Yet when they need to get important stuff done…I am the first person they call! ? I’m kind of the asshole and black sheep of my family. Men and women just get out of my way when they see me coming at a family gathering. ? Dramatic much?! There is no in between with me. You either love me or can’t stand my ass…either way I keep breathing, keep living, and keep being me. My words (if you have been following this blog…you already know) can cut. Like sometimes I line folks up like it’s a shooting range and I just hand them each their asses…rarely feeling like I should have been easier on them. You see I just don’t care most of the time when I am speaking my truth. I WILL NOT BE SILENCED IN ORDER TO MAKE OTHER FOLKS COMFORTABLE! ✌?️ Where did I get this “attitude” from?! Well…if you look at my baby pictures you will see that the resting bitch face has been in my life since birth. Like you could tell the people I liked verses the people I could not stand…even in my 9 month old photos. Lol. I have a couple nieces and nephews who have adopted the same face and I crack up at their pictures and yell…that’s Auntie’s baby! ? But I digress. Lol. Back to the “aggressive” issue at hand. I grew up seeing my mother, Mama Michaels, being a people pleaser. She didn’t get gangsta with her thoughts, words, and deeds until she was in her 40s? She use to keep things in and cry at home about any injustice she was experiencing in life. My Daddy, on the other hand, would tell a person to go screw themselves in a heartbeat! He wasn’t wasting one night stressing over trifling folks!✌?️ Nope not Papa Michaels! He’s the black sheep of his family too! lol. Then again so is my mom! ?What I learned from this is….being a people pleaser and letting folks walk all over you will still have them hating you the first time you say NO or cannot do something for them! That’s insane! I watched my mom bend over backwards for everyone (especially her parents) and they in turn…treated her like shit! Like if I’m going to be an outcast of the family…I at least want to do so by being myself and living my life to the fullest without letting others hinder my growth! Speaking of growth…I grew up with Papa Michaels teaching us kids that “if your right hand disrespects you…CUT IT OFFF!” I took that message to heart! So even if we have been friends for over 15 years and one day I find that you do not serve a positive purpose in my life…you are gone! I mourn you like you died…and once I’m done mourning…I move on with my life with no love nor hate for you…for you just do not exist from that point on. ✌?️That shit pisses people off…that I’m not angry and not still thinking of them!? Can’t live on my name if we part by me wishing you the best and I never speak of you again…then again some of folks would live on my name just for me exercising my right to breathe air! Hmmmm….think I am on to something. By just my race (black) and gender (female) society already has me pinned as the “angry black woman!” I use to take issue with such a title then I had an revolutionary thought…that chick gets shit done and she is no one to be fucked with! Being nice will still have folks living on your name and every damn thing you do. So like what’s the point unless being nice is your natural nature. Well it damn sure ain’t mine and y’all know that! ? If being “nice” is to your detriment….don’t fucking do it! Do not allow folks to abuse you emotionally, verbally, and physically! You have to preserve yourself and your inner spirit because if you cannot depend on yourself first…then who do you have left? Being at the mercy of others?!!! Yea…I wouldn’t try that because folks will let you done…easily…and still sleep well at night! Eureka! I just got another idea! Perhaps my “aggressiveness” is really me being ASSERTIVE! If I were a man…would society still take issue with my ability to put the smack down on bullshit?! Would anyone tell me I shouldn’t say that…I shouldn’t wear that…nor should I THINK that if I were a man?!!! These are the thoughts that fill my mind. Where some of us ASSERTIVE women go wrong sometimes is trying to argue that we aren’t aggressive. That’s like arguing with someone who just called you a bitch…that you aren’t a bitch! It’s a losing argument. They already stepped out the box and disrespected you…no need to argue with an idiot! All you can do is continue being YOU!??Maybe I am a little too blunt sometimes but if y’all don’t come for me…I sure wouldn’t come for you because I do like peace in my life. But know if you drop mess at my doorstep…you will live to regret it! I went after my education and career passionately and with that same “aggression!” So why in the world would I abandon those techniques in other aspects of my life when it brought me success in those areas? If you aren’t really hearing my message…let me put it to you this way. I am who I am from birth! Only I should decide what areas in life I need to work on. And if my “aggression” makes you uncomfortable…just don’t fuck with me. My ASSERTIVENESS is my natural nature. Some women are just built like that! I was never raised to be sweet and polite but frankly if I had been…this lifestyle blog wouldn’t read as interestingly as it does! ?? ~KJM on Throwback Thursday saying I can’t wait to look at my baby pictures again and laugh about how at first glance I was a firecracker and many decades later…I still am!
Archives for October 2016
Now y’all know I don’t promote violence. However, there are some times in life where people do shit that make you think you just may be on an episode of “Snapped” or just straight ruling the ID Channel! I had such a moment this past Saturday afternoon. There I was in the nail salon…getting my nails done…when I so happened to look out the window to my right and saw a family member’s husband with a younger woman that WAS NOT HER! Now generally I would tell anyone in this position to either make sure something really inappropriate is happening before reporting to the wife/husband or just mind your own business! This particular family member’s husband has been publicly cheating since before my wisdom teeth kicked in! I grew up with him cheating and fathering outside children while in their marriage! INSANE! Where’s my brick?! Figuratively speaking of course! ? The thing is…she has known for a while…and puts up with it. Even so…I had a moment of deciding whether I should tell my nail tech to stop what he was doing so I could step outside and act a fool on my family member’s behalf! I was literally in my feelings that her husband felt it was okay to not just cheat but to locally do it! Did I mention I was getting my nails done in our hometown?! Motherfu….I’m not even going to waste the rest of the letters of this good curse word on this dirty dog! ? I’ve had women AND men in my family disgraced by having their spouses cheating with someone who is a family friend or associate! Now cheating in one’s marriage will always get a side eye from me…it’s not right in my eyes but to do it locally is INSANE to me. I mean what’s up with further embarrassing your spouse by cheating in their friend and/or social circle! Folks are food shopping with women and men that are sleeping with their spouses! ? I don’t understand being that common. Cheating is already disrespectful but to have folks whispering too? I can only hope and pray this isn’t something I will have to deal with in the future (if ever married). The saddest part of it (for me) is I use to say that the women in my family who married young in Jamaica…were just that…young and made some huge mistakes. But the crazy thing is the ones that married in the US (in their 30s) married even more disrespectful husbands! From the domestic violence to the continuous cheating…they did not fare better! So one’s age doesn’t equate to wisdom when choosing a spouse. ? Sigh…. I worry about my generation and younger! What hope is there for us? Old fools taking their old dirty rusty balls out and sharing it with whomever with no dick retirement plan in sight!!! INSANE! I have let it be known that I have trust issues with the Ex Factor and not just when it comes to other women but just with his words and actions not matching up at times. He told me a lie (in my opinion) in 2012 and a huge part of me has never forgotten it. We haven’t been the same since! And I don’t know if we will ever bounce back from it. Only reason why I still try is because (1) I clearly love him, (2) he does have some amazing traits that I haven’t seen in any other man thus far (like the ability to have my back when I’m down in the trenches), and (3) I’ve never really worked through any problems with any man in a situationship nor relationship. If I feel disrespected…I WALK!✌?️ What scares me about number 3 is I may not be able to stay with anyone. I’ve left most of them! Sometimes for good reason and sometimes for no reason at all. My patience is short and tolerance is low for bullshit! I feel like I’ve already been through too much with these dudes…especially the Ex Factor!✌?️ Only thing that makes me a little different than some women is I can take care of myself…a man is only wanted for companionship….but a damn puppy can give me loyalty and long walks on the beach! If love don’t work out…I will be that chick living in a big house with 5 dogs! Get ready for our Christmas cards! Coming to a mailbox near you soon!? But I digress! Back to the mess at hand. It’s rough when you catch somebody’s man/woman out there! I really pondered running after them and busting my family member’s husband in the head but like I don’t want orange to be my new black! Not to mention, since he’s been cheating and fathering children outside of their marriage before “cock put on their draws” (Jamaican phrase referring to an event happening extra early in the morning)…my actions would not have changed a damn thing…?~KJM on Temptation Tuesday…sigh
As promised…I await you. I yearn you. But before I meet you…I must let you know the journey I’ve been on to get to you. I was never really a relationship person…never grew up wishing and praying for a husband. As a matter of fact, I’ve dodged marriage for as long as I could…to avoid losing myself and marrying the wrong person. Maybe a year and a half ago…I unbeknownst to me at the time…I started to prepare for you. You see I have had lots of situationships and imperfect relationships. I got bruised along the way but nothing to shake my faith in your existence (before I even acknowledged it or yearned for it). Over six years ago, I met a guy I now call the Ex Factor and fell deep in love…like in a way I never expected to. I still clung to myself but I allowed him in. And in the beginning…that feeling was EVERYTHING! ?I woke up singing even in the time period I call the Dark Ages (2009-April 2013…in which I met the Ex Factor in June 2010). Before laying eyes on him…the beginning of the Dark Ages swallowed me up. I would lock myself away from the world and hide. Wanted no one to see nor hear me cry. I could carry the weight myself…that’s what I told myself. Then things fell apart and I didn’t really smile with my heart until June 2010 when I laid eyes on him. And suddenly the sun came out after every storm. He was there with me…holding my hands every step of the way. That was my love. 6 years later with all the ups and downs and I’m still not sure if he is you. Is it silly that I hope and pray that God will turn him into you…BOAZ? I know that my love alone cannot change a man but GOD IS ABLE…so I leave it all up to HIM and I pray. That’s what the Ex Factor taught me to do…pray for not only love but the eternity of it. And so I started to prepare for you…not knowing what you look like nor what you have been through to get to me. If the Ex Factor is not you…then he will be the main person you will have to help me heal from. If it doesn’t work out with him…you may find my heart broken and bruised…scared to try again…and I need you, BOAZ, to be patient with me and to never give up on me. I need you to be PRESENT every step of the way…having faith in me, us, and GOD. I continue to await you…no longer crying and praying on the subway…just praying with peace in my heart for I believe it is all…ALREADY WRITTEN…and when I am ready…you will know. ~KJM awaiting BOAZ on Charm School Monday ❤️
I knew sooner or later I was going to have to address my use of colorful words and my faith. First off, I am a Christian but consider myself to be more spiritual than religious. By definition…if there is one thing I’m certain all Christians are….I am sure we are all sinners! The Kingston Jael Michaels that blogs weekly is a complex human being. I’m similar to the rappers….may have a curse word and a prayer in one blog?…and you will feel each emotion at the very second that I drop those powerful lines. You will feel me! As emotions sweep you away, you may find that my work is for you or not for you. No matter how you feel…KJM will continue to be a complex human being. I’m not here to be your pastor nor your advisor. I just want you to join me on this journey, hold my hands, and believe in my transformation! For those of you that have already committed to this phase of my life…I thank you! Please do not be afraid to share a blog post or a podcast episode with friends, family, or strangers! Just one word can change someone’s life and even if my work does not speak to you…it may speak volumes to someone else. And if it spoke to you…it may help another heal through chapters of their lives! It is my hope…not to be perfect…but to inspire greatness. The journey is long (I pray) and while words can cut…they can also heal the wounded. ~KJM is an imperfect Christian on Charm School Monday.?
What a difference a year makes! I’m currently gearing up to drop some more episodes for the podcast series and several truths just became apparent to me! As each performer (vets and newbies) prepare their drafts for submission…they are choosing to tell some powerful stories of my life and the lives of women I know. A thought occurred to me…a year later…I know how things unfold. I actually know the current state of what happened with Phoenix, Elijah, the Ex Factor, and I. Like I lived it! And as the story unfolds in real time…my performers are stirring up some old emotions that I had long left behind…pieces of me that I’ve tucked away. Only myself (and those of you who religiously follow the blog) know how things play out. The crazy thing is hearing my work performed intensifies emotions a hundred times more! Get ready to FEEL things! Like invoke some deep emotions! Get ready to be uncomfortable in your thoughts yet excited to follow the series! And if you missed the first 5 episodes…please catch up and spread the word! As the series continues…I unleash Phoenix, release Elijah, and am very much STILL INTOXICATED with the Ex Factor!!!! And there’s still more twist and turns to come as the stories unfold not to mention the chapters in between that are just about LIFE itself as women! Stay tuned…~KJM on Flashback Friday…getting so excited for the continuation of the Kingston Expressions’ Podcast Series! ?? Oh and never forget that while I’m living it out…not even I know what happens next?
And I asked him to see me…like really see me. But was I showing him the real me? How could I expect him to see me if I had not revealed my most vulnerable thoughts….the things that haunted me when we had any kind of tension. The things I feared that caused me to sometimes create issues between us. The things that made me run from him instead of sticking it out during our rough times. The things that angered me to the point where I never wanted to forgive him for hurting me…nor myself for always wanting him…even in the midst of a sometimes self destructive mind set. The things that made me ashamed…so ashamed that I’m even afraid to reveal myself to you…my intimate audience! Things that brought my spirit down and made me cry. How could he really see me if I was always hiding myself? I hide because I want to seem perfect and unbothered even though I’m deeply imperfectly bothered by what he says and does…even the things he does not say and does not do. I hide because I want to appear strong…and all put together while I’m falling apart everyday. I asked him to see me…like really see me. And now that I’ve let go of the bed board…for I could no longer grip the bars…when my mind, body, and spirit calls me to grip him. To open up to him. To step out on faith and trust him. And trust that if I reveal who I truly am he will not forsake me. He will not leave me standing in this moment alone. He will not abandon me. I had never done this before…be completely transparent and vulnerable. I had never dared to. But I was always strong enough to bare myself because I’ve always accepted myself…as myself. When I wake up…I am always me! I even fall asleep at night…holding myself…my true self. And so I asked him to see me…like really see me…as I’ve always seen myself. I held onto him and I buried my head in his shoulder and I whispered the one thing I wish I had been wise enough to say 6 years ago…I whispered….“I am afraid of losing you.” And in that moment it felt like my body, my heart, and my spirit had finally joined each other..tired from fighting each other…exhausted from disagreeing about the way I should love him. And so we rested there in his firm arms. We RESTED!?? I no longer felt ashamed…I actually felt relieved because you see no matter how much I love to hate him…the Ex Factor is the greatest love I’ve had thus far and no matter the outcome…that kind of love was worth the risk of revealing my true self…my true insecurities…my true vulnerabilities. That kind of love was worth baring my soul. He whispered back “I’ve told you that I’m here for you.” And we RESTED as I gripped…him…I held onto him… He is now all the way in and what he does with this revelation is on him. I could no longer pretend that I’m perfectly unbothered…knowing I am imperfectly bothered by…my hidden feelings and my inability to control those feelings. Six years I held on to this. Six years I kept it in…thinking if I never said it out loud…then it wasn’t true. But it was after the grip of the bed that I found peace. The peace to demand that I been seen. That he see me as a complex, imperfect yet loving woman. And I do so love him…even on the days I vowed to hate him. You see the thing about really loving someone is…even when you don’t particularly like them…you love them. ?? And it’s in those moments of imperfection and chaos that your love may grow deeper. Deep enough to grip the bed and then let go and take hold of your true love and let him know…you see him and that you are strong enough to let him see you…~KJM on Hump Day saying…my love grows beyond the kind of existence I thought it ever could. And with a strength I never imagined. I believe it can grow in a barren field and still one day…during the darkness of night…bare fruit that brings us into the light. That is the power that has always been within me.?
And even in moments when I felt like I’ve slipped away from us…I find myself yearning him. And so I began to grip the bed. I was finally holding on to the bars of the head board because of pleasure. I asked him to see me. Like to really see me. And just when I thought he wasn’t listening…I gripped the bed. He’s planting tiny kisses all over my body. And I am shaking. I cannot remember the last time he planted kisses. Yet I asked him to see me. Like really see me. Not to just be about his pleasure in these moments but to feel me and see me… It is only through acknowledging not only my sexual being but my intellect, my dreams, and my passions will he be able to hear me…hear me moan as moisture filled my body. Hear me validate his existence. Hear me call for him. Hear me wanting him…while watching my body tremble. I began to shake and moan…in a way I haven’t in so long. I…am…receiving him…I am tasting him…I am calling for him and only him. And yes I’m still griping the bed. Holding on for dear life. Each second of intensity…I grip tighter. Can’t let go of these bars…can’t let go of him….can’t let go of this moment…must live it out. Must touch it out. Must moan it out because like he sees me. He’s trying to understand me. Figure out my desires and let me know that my desires do matter…because tonight he won’t stop until he cums upon one of my pressure points. Oh the intensity of it all! I could not stop kissing him…I could not stop whispering sweet things in his ears. He hears me…he wants me…and I feel wanted. So I continue to grip the bed as my legs wrap around his neck…then the rest of his body. And I can tell he feels me shaking. I can tell he is receiving me. At the start of his climax…I let go the bars of the head board and I grab on to him. Because like…I want him to know that I see him…I taste him…I hear him…and I feel him. I’m calling his name and in a moment of ecstasy…his body answers. It had been two months for us…of waiting…I needed a moment to yearn him. I needed a moment to feel like myself. Even though I’m not married with children…stress of my careers, stress of not being where I want to be in life, stress of rejections I experienced in my first career, stress of not feeling wanted by him…and the weight gain I’ve put on over the years when the stress got too much to handle…it had all taken a toll on me. I…was in fact…part of the reason why I did not feel wanted…and only I could make myself feel welcomed and wanted in order to open the door for him to reconfirm what my inner spirit had already told me. So I spoke softly to myself….I AM BEAUTIFUL! I AM SEXY! I AM WORTHY IN EVERY ASPECT OF MY LIFE!?? Yass! Only I could tell myself these things! And I finally did!? It was that conversation with myself that gave me the strength to grip the bed and open up myself to him. And there I laid in his arms as if it was forever…our forever. Laughing and talking…in our natural state. Me without any makeup on…cuddling with my on and off again love of 6 years…the one man I feel at home with when I’m at my most imperfect…~KJM on Temptation Tuesday saying…that was the Ex Factor and I last night ?
Happy Charm School Monday! Today I’m actually sharing a post that I wrote at the end of August on my personal page. It really spoke to a lot of my mommy friends so now I’m sharing it with all of you! Even though my generation is getting better on raising awareness about postpartum depression…there’s still so much hidden shame in experiencing it and still a need for a continuous dialogue about how it affects each woman differently and how many women suffer from it. I hope and pray that today’s blog will infuse the discussion, raise awareness, and help build a community of support for these beautiful mothers! Okay here it is…a passage from my August 30 personal post that I have now titled “After The Baby Came…The Rain Fell”: “To all the MOMMIES and DADDIES: Today I overheard a male coworker telling some female coworkers how crazy his ex wife/mother of his daughter was. He said they were married for 6 years and were doing well until she gave birth to their daughter. He whined about the fact that he was there for her and helped out with their child but she stopped wanting him to go out and grab a beer with his friends twice a month. “I was so good to her”…he said. “She was just crazy (and still is) but I love my daughter!” I did not know this man at all but something in me decided to interject and speak on his ex wife’s behalf because he said she was still making his life a living hell and he’s 42….too young for this shit! His words not mine. I politely laid into his ass! I told him that I’ve never known a woman who gave birth and wasn’t CHANGED! Baby blues and depression are real!!! Even if a woman never put on a pound and is back to her pre baby weight…it takes her a long while (from what I’ve seen with all my friends) to be confident in her own skin! Every woman is mentally, psychologically, and physically changed after giving birth (no matter how easy or hard the labor/c section was). She steps outside herself. She is insecure for sometime. She is exhausted! And she has lost herself while trying to be a good mom! I turned to him and said….your ex is not a bitch….she’s depressed! She didn’t know how to tell you what was wrong so it came out in anger. She needed you more than the previous 6 years of marriage and you sir fell short. Diagnosed her as crazy when all she probably needed was a bit more attention from you. And FYI if you were “good to her” no need to brag about it…that’s what your ass should have been doing as she fought to bring and sustain LIFE into this world! You will never know what that feels like! His response was silence at first and then he said none of this had ever occurred to him before. Then I said…I’m sorry for interjecting but for the sake of your 5 year old daughter and co-parenting…please treat her with respect and as someone who may not be well. She may still be lost but what a way to get lost….by bringing your daughter in the world??” ~KJM flashing back on Charm School Monday.?
Happy Serenity Saturday! As we are on our journey preparing for BOAZ, I’ve started reading the Book Of Ruth in the mornings instead of my normal two scriptures. It’s actually a very short book in the Bible and definitely a page turner! The story of Ruth is inspirational in so many ways! Even if you aren’t a spiritual person, there is surely a positive message in there for everyone! ?This week I presented several interpretations of the story of Ruth from different writers/preachers. No matter which way you view Ruth…let me tell you the most important lesson I received from reading about her. Ruth was not only loyal and a hard worker but SHE WAS PRESENT IN HER OWN LIFE!?? Knowing that her mother in law, Naomi, had lost a husband and two sons and the only way they could both survive in a land strange to Ruth is if Ruth found a husband to carry on Naomi’s family name…Ruth sought her path to survival. And Ruth did just that! She actively took charge of her life and sought food for her and Naomi in the fields BOAZ owned. When she realized she found favor in BOAZ’s eyes…she continued to work hard to provide for her and her mother in law! Ruth’s “wait” was one of her stepping out on faith and actively being present in her own life. So NO…her wait wasn’t just waiting! Our road to BOAZ should be a spiritual journey of our transformation into being the type of woman that would make a great friend and wife! The “wait” should definitely not be passive. We should be actively seeking to work on ourselves and be happy within ourselves. No matter what you take away from Ruth, I hope and pray that she inspires you to actively seek the things you want and need in life! Don’t wait for it to come to you! Prayer is a beautiful thing but prayer with movement is life changing! On this Serenity Saturday, I encourage you all (whether married or single) to go after your spiritual transformation with full force! Nothing worth having will come easily and even if by some miracle it does come easily….maintaining anything divine will take WORK! Before I wrote this post this morning, I had a talk with myself. I love the Ex Factor and though he does not appear to be BOAZ, that doesn’t mean I’ve completely given up…for only God knows how the story ends. I will continue to work on myself and keep the focus on my transformation and let my “hard work” lead me to a land that I can build on…just like Ruth…whether I build it with the Ex Factor or someone else! ?? ~KJM on Serenity Saturday saying “Faith without works is also dead.” James 2:17
Well you guys knew this was coming….the return of Elijah! ? Bumped into him two days ago after only seeing him a handful of times since I broke things off April 1. Now before I get into the meat of this post…I will say I know at least one couple that met at work and are now married! But those wonderful I met my soulmates at work couples are usually far, few, and in between! Most of us regret it like a bad one night stand! Hell for some of y’all it was a bad one night stand filled with cheap liquor and awkward sex! But I digress! For the few of you who found love at work…I’m so happy for you! Now back to the rest of us…which it was an EPIC FAIL for! Don’t crawl under a rock! Own this mess! I never ever wanted to date someone from work. My policy was “my money in one pocket and my man in the other….the two shall never meet!“?? The don’t shit where you eat policy is a necessary way of survival in the work world! Think about it….if shit went LEFT…which it has a great chance of doing for most of us…you will now have awkward moments at work! Or even flat out drama…especially for those of y’all screwing your bosses! ?Then you run the risk of being pushed out of that job because of your sexual indiscretions. Bank account suddenly low and the new skills you learned at your last job…well lets just say you can’t put them on your resume! ?So there you are…window shopping on broke street! ? Looking back on it, I’ve been approached by a lot of guys over my working career but it was Elijah’s timing that gave him a chance, along with his respectful introduction, and good looks. I think I got lucky with Elijah (of course only time will tell) in that he is also very private at work so hardly anyone knew we were dating except for two people who were present when he approached me. That Elijah had guts! Facebook reminded me that October 6 (yesterday) was the day of my first official date with Elijah last year!? Shout out to Facebook for reminding us of all of the mistakes we posted about! Seriously…where would I be without that awkward reminder?! Lol. Elijah did ask me for a second chance AGAIN when I saw him. I told him it was a HELL NO and that we weren’t compatible in any area of life. He replied…not even great sex?! Um…I’m a little confused here. Was he referring to the the jack rabbit shoved in my vagina or the rip in my asshole?! *Refer to the blog post titled “Unexpectedly Backdoored” if you do not know what I’m referring to. Now back to this bullshit. Great sex? Why would a man think his sex was great if a woman never said so? And I mean the current woman he’s sleeping/speaking with…not what the last 10 broads said. ✌?️I don’t even advertise my sex like that! Some dudes love my assertiveness in the bedroom and some don’t. Some like for me to step on their balls with my 6 inch heels and some even go farther and love when I crush those balls. I’m laughing so hard right now as I type this because if you have been following this blog…you will know…balls confuse me. I’m not good with them….except to step on and crush them!??? Anyways…I don’t know what those 50 year old women (no disrespect to my mature readers) that Elijah prefers to date have been telling him….but the rabbit and the tear in my butthole don’t amount to great sex! I actually cringe just thinking about it! ?Next month will make it a year since the whole thing happened. Maybe I need to put together a…my asshole finally healed (months after) bar tour! ? Don’t try me! That bar tour could be in a city near you for all the women who had bad sex with a guy who thinks he’s great in bed! ? Oh yes Elijah tried it going there. I was nice enough just to repeat that we weren’t compatible on ANY level! And I hope he finally got it! Like what’s up with these men anyways? I know it’s cuffing season but if I say I don’t want you or no longer want you…why the hell are y’all still asking the same damn question twice. I said NO PENIS FOR ME SIR! It’s like they think I’m turning down dessert and repeat themselves as if I would change my mind. I love dessert especially all things chocolate but it’s not every man’s sex that would be considered dessert! Matter of fact…some of y’all so lazy…you don’t even aim to be the main course in the bedroom and are just hoping some woman will be desperate enough to choose you as dessert after she’s had a light meal with her man! Miss me with that! To Elijah and all other men…wait for a woman to tell you…you are great in bed before you declare it! I know my sex game was off with Elijah because after that jack rabbit in the vagina/rip in the asshole time (the 3rd and last time we had sex)…to finish him off (if you recall) I gave him a hand job so bad that he had to help me! And there was no shame in my game since my asshole was bleeding.✌?️He’s lucky I didn’t direct him to touch himself! Miss me with all of that! Anyway kiddies…the moral here is do not shit where you eat! Avoid messing with coworkers and get your cheap thrills elsewhere! Keep your coins multiplying and your legs closed at work! This goes for women AND men! ~KJM on Flashback Friday saying…I couldn’t make this shit up if I tried! ??? **Disclaimer: There are probably women out there who love Elijah’s tricks…I am just not one of them! Pointing to my asshole as I write this.?