Archives for November 2015

I know I’m going to get a lot of shit for this blog but as always Kingston Jael will keep it as real as ever. Let me preface this by saying I never knew I was a “bad girl” until it was pointed out to me throughout my entire dating life. I never hide that I grew up around a lot of domestic violence and infidelity. Seeing a woman I’m related to get punched, kicked, or choked by the man she loves did something to me. I didn’t realize that I’ve never fully given commitment a 100% chance until 2015. My siblings Junior and Brenda knew I had a problem but we didn’t start talking about it until now. This list is going to sound crazy but before you settle down and start a family you may want to hear me out. If you are like me or have similar issues…this may be helpful. Here are 9 Infamous things that every bad girl needs to do before she becomes a grown woman:

9. Be open with her sexuality and get over every mistake. No shaming yourself for sexual hook ups that got fucked up. Chuck it all up to life experiences. Every woman has a little slut in her…it’s all about if she taps into it.

8. Forgive yourself for no longer being a virgin! Society wants women to be virgins while men hoe the place down! In my sister Brenda’s voice…“that’s just not realistic!” Contrary to popular belief, men can be and are hoes! Look at the ones with 5,000 kids they don’t support! That hurts the family structure just as much as an episode of Maury!

7. Go to a female strip club! Even straight women can benefit from the beautiful artwork they call stripping! I don’t know about you but I don’t like random penises thrusting at my head so going to a male strip club does nothing for me. There’s nothing like two beautiful bootilicious women making their asses clap on the top of a pole “at the same damn time!” Lol. Shout out to Atlanta for being the Mecca for this kind of art! Go ahead…look, enjoy, and even get you a lap dance. You are not a lesbian or bi sexual…you just love art and nothing is more beautiful than the female body!

6. Openly date two or more guys at the same time. Now I’m not saying sleep with them all…that’s your choice but remember that you have your whole life to be committed. Get that playing the field shit out your system before marriage or serious commitment. Trust me…you will thank me later!

5. Always pack condoms and birth control in your pocketbook no matter where you are going. I always say dick falls out the sky and it really does! Be in control of your own reproductive system with no shame! You are not a hoe. You are a responsible young woman who is actively protecting her body and health! Need I remind you how many babies are created from one night stands or hook ups gone wrong! Don’t be a statistic!

4. Travel by yourself out of the country! It’s scary to think of going to some unknown destination by yourself but it’s so freeing! Use your street smarts of course but embrace a new culture and a new life. I promise you will come home refreshed and with a new hunger for life. All the time you spent meditating on the island or in Europe will bring you closer to yourself. You will discover and conquer uncharted territories in your life!

3. Touch yourself. Learn where your G spot is and get use to just you exploring your body. I started masturbating at age 14 and I really think it helped me appreciate my body and not see sexuality just in relation to a man. It’s the type of sexual freedom every woman should know….you have the ability to make yourself climax. Yes you can get to that mountain top all by yourself! And when you do meet your life partner, this time of exploration may help with communication about sex. Touching yourself equals knowing yourself.

2. Cheat on someone accidentally (before marriage). Now hear me out! I’ve nothing but amazing female friends…many of whom are wonderful wives. But there’s a secret in this group of beautiful women…very few have not cheated on someone they were seriously dating. Many times it was an emotional affair that may have stemmed from neglect (still taking full responsibility here). Some of the emotional affairs did become sexual. I’m an emotional cheater myself. 2015 is the one and only year I focused on just one man since I was 15 years old. Coincidentally I got my heart blown into pieces as a reward for my commitment. Lol. Why is it important to accidentally cheat? Because you need to know the warning signs and your own personal triggers so you can talk with your husband about it if ever this issue arises. The first time I emotionally cheated…I was shocked I could do it. Love one guy and kept another in my back pocket for safe keeping. It started off with having issues in my relationship and me complaining to another guy about it. He would listen and then offer himself as a better option! It starts off innocent enough but if you don’t know yourself in these types of situations you may find your future relationships suffering! I hope and pray that I would never cheat on my future husband/life partner!

And 1. I know you are going to scream but the number one infamous thing that a bad girl should do before becoming a grown woman is cheat purposely. Now hear me out….I believe that we can only know ourselves completely 80% of the time. In my opinion, there’s 20% of things about yourself you would never know unless being put in unique/dangerous circumstances. I am a loving woman but even with trying my best I’ve made mistakes. I’ve loved and lost and surprisingly grew a knack for revenge. I’m not the type of woman a man can cheat on and just expect to be sitting at home all loyal to him! Hey I’m not married/settled down yet so I’m still growing!!!! From 2004-2014, on and off, I’ve kept a side piece I will call Phoenix. He has seen me through so much heartbreak and has been this amazing friend and confidant to me. I’ve never lied to Phoenix about my situations and at times I’m sure he had his own situations. I justified spending time with Phoenix by operating in what I would call a gray area: knowing damn well I’ve some sort of commitment to a guy, have a strong inclination that that guy is cheating on me, and convinced myself that a dose of Phoenix can’t hurt! This is going to sound crazy but Phoenix helped me get to the point where I want to just be in love and in a committed relationship with one man. My time spent with him was explosive. Phoenix is intelligent, a sexy piece of dark chocolate, has the biggest you know what I’ve ever seen, a stone cold freak, and always knew how to make me feel wanted. What I learned from my time with him is you can’t run from true love. No matter how messy things got in my relationship, I couldn’t change who I loved. And no matter how wanted Phoenix made me feel, I still had the mess of my relationship to clean up when I got home! The time I spent confiding in Phoenix would have been better spent with talking to my love that was hurting me. No side piece can ever replace real love. If I ever get married and get tempted to cheat when shit gets rough…I will remember what Phoenix taught me and go back to the drawing board and talk with my husband on how we can work on our marriage. At least I hope and pray I will. I hope you learned something from this list that will help you grow in life! I’m still growing and learning. I’m imperfect but I’m a good person. I’m forever a work in progress. Don’t judge me because you may think you are above this list….because according to my math, you only have an 80% chance of being right! Lol. ~KJM blogging at night on Temptation Tuesday (I’m an early morning person lol)

Will drop this on you on Hump Day! Night!