In The Late Hours (I Waited And Then Gave Up Edition)

As the sun rose, I sat there quietly with a smile on my face. Hopeful…I waited for you. It’s not that I didn’t know the wait would be long but I some how always thought it would be worth it. So I sat there…in silence…careful not to be interrupted by anyone nor anything. It took discipline to wait. Never knew I had it in me…to STILL look for someone…disappointment after disappointment…heartbreak after heartbreak. That I would have the patience to sit there looking at the sun rise…with hope in my eyes. But I did it. I waited…until it was in the late hours. Something in me began to transform. Not even the moonlight, at first, would turn me off. I told myself that our reunion and my wait for you would be so much more beautiful under the moon. I wanted to hold hands, kiss, and tell life secrets in the moonlight. There would have never been a touch more intense and deep than the one you would have felt…had you met me. Mostly, I wanted to have that feeling in my heart where I had just about given up but you showed up…to prove to me that love was always stronger than doubt and fear. No the moonlight did not bother me. It excited me…as I waited for you. And so I waited and waited. Starting to doze off…it dawned on me…like the sun had many hours before…that I could not hold on forever…for even then sun had retired for the night. Even she had left to regain her strength. But there I still was…in the late hours…tired…exhausted…yet still waiting for you. You never turned up and it was there in those late…dark hours…that I gave up. Not because I wasn’t strong enough to wait some more…but because essentially the moonlight pointed out what the sun couldn’t…I WAS WAITING ALONE! Waiting in vain…and so the new journey begins. ~KJM on Charm School Monday saying that I’ve forgotten why I love this blog so much…I love to write! This post may have come off romantic…and there are some elements of truth in it…but it also goes out to friends, lovers, and family. For the last 5 days I’ve been beyond sick and while some of my very best family and friends stepped up their game…what surprise me were the people that checked in on me consistently. There weren’t people I consider family! Those folks barely bat an eye that I was sick. ??And while I rarely need people…these last 5 days I needed you! Also even more surprising, more of my NEW friends checked in on me continuously via text and FB than the folks I’ve known almost 20 years! I was truly moved to tears when one of my new friends apologized for not being able to check in on me since Wednesday (day of my surgery) because she got into a car accident Wednesday night! Like someone thought of me when they had hit their lowest point! I’ve several friends also sick/in the hospital and as these medications made my body sick I rotated and checked in on who I could via text. Yea 2017 most of you are going to see a brand new side of me. It seems the Ex Factor wasn’t the only one praying on my kindness! Now for all my readers and listeners…what does this means for the blog and podcast? Things will get even more deeper and earth shattering! I’m gonna keep pushing the limits! And if I have to continue to do it alone…I WILL because guess what? These last couple of days I’ve felt more alone than I have since November 2009 (the last time I really need friends and family to pull me up)! Only looking out for SELF in 2017! Shout out to my bro Junior, my cousin K, Nicole, and my BFF Zack for making each day better for me! Much love to Grace, Tiffany, Toi, and anyone else who reached out during this difficult time! One Love?