Now some folks are going to burn me at the stake for this one but truth be told…I have been wanting to write this blog for months…but hesitated for numerous reasons. So why not push the status quo while my love life is in the toilet! ? I want to start off by stating that for 36 years I have LOVED the black man. While I have dated outside of my race (when I was younger) I always thought my soulmate was a black (or at least…a brown man). ? To me, no one can raise the family that I never knew I desired like I can with my black soulmate. But if I keep waiting on the black man to get his shit together, I will be writing the sequel to this piece in my fucking 70s!!! Right now, I meet more men outside of my race that ask me on dates and/or show interest in me but I always turn them down! Several of my black female friends (like Willow and Alexandria) are happily married to white men. Great men at that! I have known Alexandria’s husband the longest and they are AMAZING together as a couple! They actually just celebrated three years of marriage yesterday! ? Shout out to them! Now back to the task at hand. I LOVE the black man but if I was to keep waiting…I just may be waiting forever! ? Now to me the white man is NOT a prize but he sure sounds better than dating a woman (unless you are into women then by all means…do that). My BFF, Zack, is only one of two white men that I wholeheartedly love and trust. And he is happily married. Lol. So crossing over won’t be easy for me. Part of me will always think they (white Men and/or their family) have secret deep seeded racist hearts. Plus I am not begging anyone to be in their family. Didn’t even do that with my kings (the black men). ✌? But still black love (17 years of it out of my 21 years of dating) has burned my heart, left me with baggage, has driven me to detest the black man (who is not related to me), and almost lead me to be the first self pronounced lesbian NOT attracted to women! ?? That is how deep the wounds are. Not to mention, men like Julio (I know this for a fact) and the Ex Factor treat women of other races much better. So I’m really opening up my mature self into realizing that black love may not be in the cards for me and I’m okay with that! FYI two white men asked me for my number last week. One is a coworker so I gave it to him. Still dating isn’t really on my mind until I see some action. My black men were never about action. And my standards for the white men are so different. Okay let’s go into the 6 things a Sista needs to know before crossing over. 6. NO LAZY WHITE MEN! There are some black Woman that are obsessed with a white man and will take any white Man. Now if I’m demanding my brothers aren’t lazy…why the fuck am I picking up a lazy white man?! GTFOH! In Jamaican culture, laziness is the ultimate disrespect! No way I’m picking up any lazy man!!! ✌? White privilege stops at my bedroom! You want this Sista…you better have 10 jobs! ??5. WHITE MEN ARE NOT KINGS BECAUSE OF THEIR SKIN COLOR! The world already praises the white man for being white! I’m not doing that shit! I am getting my Serena Williams on and letting them know that chocolate is the best fucking thing around. Black Women build empires more than any other female race! We always have to go for ours. So if you want to be our king…we got to set the bar high! His skin color is not a reason for him to be cherished! If you have a good white man in your life and he treats you right…that’s what makes him on the road to being your king! ?? 4. NO WORK WITH A WHITE MAN AFFIRMATIVE ACTION PLAN! For my black and Hispanic men, I have a “work with a brother affirmative action plan” that is good until they turn the age 40. This is me, your queen, realizing that the world is a fucked up place and there are traps set for our black and brown men to keep them from achieving greatness. White men don’t have to worry about racism, police brutality, absentee daddies, and drugs plaguing their neighborhoods to the high degree that black and brown men have to. The world was made for the white man…so no matter what age I meet him, he better have his shit together! No excuses! ?? 3. NO COMMITMENT ISSUES! I have been through a lot with brothers who can’t and/or won’t commit…I’m not going through that shit with white men! I believed in Black Love so I waited for it. Well it fucked me…TWICE! Not giving the white man one chance to fuck me. Put a ring on it or get the fuck moving! Besides Zack always says if I meet a white man that has not been married by the age of 40….he’s either a serial killer or he doesn’t ever want to get married! ??? 2. COURTSHIP! We black women will be fully courted by the white man. Like I said, many of us are not too thrilled to be crossing over so don’t think you can get away with what our brothers did to us. You don’t have apartheid, slavery, nor Jim Crow in your back yards. Your families were not purposely separated and destroyed! Not making excuses for my brothers but many of their issues goes way beyond the current life they are living. We as a people have been broken for hundreds of years. When brothers are unnecessarily incarcerated at higher rates than other races….the slavery dynamics continue. Sistas must do everything by ourselves….hence why we are just too much woman for some black men. The white man never had these obstacles. He grew up with the white woman…so courtship should be in his blood! ?? 1. ONLY CHOOSE FINANCIALLY SET WHITE MEN! Now this is going to get me side eyed and cussed out but I don’t care! When white women are marrying our black men…a lot of them are going after black men with money! So why are we crossing over to be broke?! No ma’am. If I’m going white, everybody better see why I went that way! Mortgage and car notes better be paid or paid off and we better have a damn good financial planner! I can struggle with a brother! No way I’m marrying a white man to struggle! GTFOH! “No romance without finance!” Once again, the world caters to white men. Just by the color of their skin certain opportunities are handed to them that are not given to our black and brown brothers! He better get his fucking Bill Gates on if he wants me to be his Mrs. ?? ~KJM is ignorant as fuck on Throwback Thursday! Yes love matters! Love the man! But do not accept less than what we are worth with the white man. I made that mistake with brothers….
Yes!! Yes!! And, more yes!! ?? I’m an equal opportunity lover!! Although I’ve married a black man, I’ve dated 2 other races/ethnic groups!! It is important that your standards remain high regardless of the race!! Cheers to your crossover and quest for love!! ?