Two Tumors (The Knowing Part 2 Chapter One Edition)

I have two benign tumors growing in my body. There is a part of me that wanted to tell this story when I’m stronger…happier but here we are on the very last day of 2020 and I just want to bury it and leave it all here. With 90s music playing in the background and all the positive vibes I can muster up….I will aim to tell this story….swiftly….truthfully as I know it and feel it. I loved as hard as I could and I lost. By now you probably figured out I lost…after all….you haven’t heard from me since July. I took these last 5 months to properly fall apart and put myself back together. I don’t want this blog to be long because I don’t want to lose my courage….I don’t want to lose my way. 2020 has stolen so much from us collectively….across the globe. Yes I have two small benign tumors growing in my uterine lining. This is where it all began. Don’t feel sorry for me….I lived and loved. I fell apart….yet I am still here to tell the story. So let me do just that before I lose you. My body started to feel like it wasn’t mine in November 2019. I knew something was off but I did not think that it could be serious. Many of my female friends told me that certain symptoms were occurring because we are getting older. I accepted this as truth until I could speak to my GYN in person. I lived, I loved, I bled, and I fought with the Ex Factor. Then the pandemic hit and the world began to spin. There was no time to listen to my body yet she spoke. She spoke volumes to me….even in pandemic lock down. The months past and the walls of my apartment saw me crying, saw me bleeding out, and felt the electric currents of pain sweeping through my body. No pain meds in sight. Just me…loving and living the best I could. I decided that if this year may have been our last days on this earth (pandemic thoughts here)….I did not want to spend a moment without the Ex Factor. So I reached for him and held on tightly. So tight, he may have felt like my hostage. We are locked in. We are in masks. We are unsure. He was my only real visitor until I had my surgery in October… but wait. I am not there yet. EXIT CHAPTER ONE