I use to think that a boy loved me when he would keep reappearing in my life. It took me until I was in my 30s to realize that this is simply not true. While there can be exceptions to this rule, for the most part…that boy that keeps circling back around never grows into a man. He stays in his true form…as a resilient cockroach! No amount of Raid will take him out and only you can stop the cycle! I’ve spoken about the “hold/pause button” on several of my blogs. It’s when a boy recognizes a good thing but is not ready to fully commit so he puts the woman on hold…in a way where he can always circle back around if there’s nothing better. Julio and the Ex Factor are famous for this. Elijah has too much pride to circle back around…at least I think so. What’s disturbing about the resilient cockroach is that he no longer cares if the woman on hold…even wants him. For example, I haven’t been physically attracted to Julio in over 7 years. He actually turns my stomach yet I still hear from him and recently have resorted to having to block him on my phone and social media. Like what the fuck?! Ain’t nobody checking for you no matter what you wrap yourself in. The last time I even wanted to be with Julio was in 2007. He does realizes that it’s almost been a decade since I’ve wanted him in any shape or form?! I guess that type of thing is hard for a boy to swallow. Now to the ex factor. Physically…he’s gorgeous but mentally and emotionally, I’m numb to him. I actually no longer have him blocked anywhere because he simply doesn’t matter. This type of boy is only circling back around to use me up some more and waste more of my time. I really loved the ex factor once…for 5 years. I’ve felt no deeper love than what I had for him but I’m just done with him. All that love, trust, and respect flew out the window. He’s just a bum on the street to me. A woman can do that…turn ice cold. That’s where I am…frozen and there’s just no thawing me out when it comes to these old resilient cockroaches. They are selfish and unsure of who they are. We women shouldn’t allow a man to lead us when he can’t lead himself! Now what do you do when you see a resilient cockroach? The choice is yours! You can either welcome it with open arms by letting it keep slithering under your door and through the cracks of your apartment or you can stomp on it one last time with your highest and pointiest heel while you have an exterminator on stand by. Of course this is all metaphorically! Do you want to be happy? Do you want someone who recognizes you are a good woman from the jump and starts to do the work immediately? Or do you forever want to be a part of an unhealthy cycle? Do you want to watch everyone around you find happiness while you listen to the same broken promises?! At some point ladies, we have to take responsibility on how strong and resilient that cockroach has grown! After all…who fed him all these years?! ~KJM on Throwback Thursday saying women can be resilient cockroaches for men too! However, I generally write from the female prospective. Don’t let anyone set up a permanent place in your home that they didn’t earn.?