Well it’s Temptation Tuesday and you know how I like to get down on this day…time to be IGNORANT! ? A few weeks ago, I watched a YouTube video of a female matchmaker telling off her ex female clients. She said many of their standards were way too high and that’s why they were single. I’m with that! Love is not like a resume but it is good to have a list of what your needs and dealbreakers are when entering the dating world for the purpose of finding your forever mate. Often times, women will ask for traits…they themselves…do not possess. I’m definitely not with that. If you want a kind and thoughtful man then you better be a kind and thoughtful woman! ?? Where the matchmaker (and so many of the “how to get a man” articles) lost me was on selling the concept that a woman’s future husband does not need to be attractive!!! Now let me keep this all the way real (as someone who has dated ugly men with money when I was on the rebound)…not everybody can get a Denzel or an Idris ?? but you need to get someone you are gonna want to fuck…that is unless you were grown up in an arranged marriage culture and plan to follow in the family values. But even in those cultures, men are allowed to pick women that they feel are the most beautiful, young, and fertile! ?✌?Women, on the other hand, seem to get the shit end of the stick. Most arranged marriages at least make sure the husband can afford a wife but other than that…at least from the folks I know who had an arranged marriage…the women don’t seem to get a chance to voice what else they are looking for…especially when it comes to looks. But I digress! This blog is not about arranged marriages. It’s about those of us on the single market trying to find our forever person. The Ex Factor and Phoenix are two of my most beautiful men I have ever laid eyes on! ????? They represent two different ends of my attractiveness spectrum. Phoenix has deep beautiful dark skin with pearly white teeth and a smile that could charm the panties off of any woman….while the Ex Factor had me at hello with his caramel skin, sexy super tall and fit build, and beautiful eyes! Those eyes! What I see in those eyes…I’ve seen in no one else’s! ? But once again I digress! While I believe that looks is not everything, I think it’s silly to dismiss it all together. Like how are you suppose to fuck him continuously if you are turned off by him?! Remember Mister Toss Salad? He was one of my ugliest men inside AND out that I have ever dated but he treated me like ten queens (at first)! To this day, even after closing my eyes tight to sleep with him, I still don’t know what his penis looks like! Once again…I did not like the tiny odd feel of it so I promised myself never to look IT (it…being his penis) in the eye! ? That’s how survived the few months we dated. I told myself that he treated me well (that is until his ugly insides started to show) and that I should just settle! And he had this fucking odd shaped big head too! ? His mama had to have had a C section! No way that thing was fitting through no natural vagina. Lol. Now I’m just getting straight ignorant with it! Lol. My point is how can one have a family with someone they aren’t attracted to? How will you keep yourself from cheating when the Denzel look alikes start popping up?! Now it’s one thing if you grew to find him attractive…power to you but I’ve learned that my relationship length with an ugly man with money (I pray nobody our there doing ugly and broke! Bills are real!) is about three months! ✌?✌?✌?I don’t have it down to a science but that’s been me. Now it could have been that I was still in love with someone else or the fact that my ugly men pretended to be nice but were really the devil walking that made these relationships not work out…but if I had to request that the room be extra dark and squeeze my eyes closed extra tight while having sex with an ugly man…no way we would have made it to forever!!! ?? Looks are not everything and you do need to be realistic about what you are looking for in that department (as it’s been my experience that there are more Young Thugs ? out there than Denzel’s?), but you do need to be somewhat attracted to the person! If not…how will the vagina get moist? How will you stay faithful? Lust is real…even for women! We like eye candy too! Maybe I am being a bit materialistic but I’ve dated men that weren’t my type in the looks department and regretted it! Perhaps it was because my ugly men were ugly on the inside too?! I don’t know…and I hope to not find out! Because while looks aren’t everything…they are something. You need to yearn for that man’s touch in the good times or how will you get through the bad? Ignoring whether you are attracted to someone or not (minus arranged cultures) may be a sign of settling. If you know that you are okay with settling on this level…then go right ahead. But if you are just lonely right now….you may want to hold out until you meet someone you are attracted to. Now attraction is made up of more than just looks but looks are a part of it. I don’t know about you but I am not trying to have children with an ugly man nor do I want to lay next to an ugly man ever again! The times I did kick it with one taught me so much. These were times I did not feel good about myself and felt rejected by who was my true love. I can only write from my experiences but getting played by anyone (especially an ugly man) is embarrassing! Lol. Some of you may have had some great luck with ugly men but I promise you if you did…you had to have found him attractive during some part of that journey to forever! ~KJM on Temptation Tuesday! Forever is so damn difficult to get to already without settling because of someone else’s encouragement (referring to matchmakers here). Pick and choose how you go about this journey to love. We all settle on some level because no one gets everything they want but as long as your needs are being met and you only had to settle on some things from your extensive wants list…then you are probably off to a good start. Good luck out there! ? Editor’s note: I have slept with ugly men. This is a great time to shout out the birth control companies! ?? Where would I be without you? Lol.
I am not sure why I didn’t read this first thing but lawd its making my second half of the day super entertaining. Everything you said and the advice you gave was spot on, but to be honest you cant not hold a marriage on the fact that money alone. I refuse to have babies or had babies on money alone…..and cheating is going down if i feel no attraction
i have had some not so good looking men but like you said they were NOT broke this is not the case and momma aint raise no fool