Yesterday I wrote a blog called “Dear Girlfriend (The Fall of Phoenix)” and it caused quite an uproar between me and my siblings. Junior, our local moral police, said the blame is on both parties for where their 15 year relationship has ended up. My response to that is I cannot tell a man how to be a man/husband. My message was for the girlfriend…woman to woman because no matter what a man feeds you…women control the status of the relationship. Even if Phoenix is leading her on so that he can be an active live in dad, at some point in the last decade or so, the girlfriend continued to believe these promises/lies (if they were made to begin with). I can understand her position because I use to be her…those 5 years and 3 months (on and off) that I stayed with the ex factor. At some point, deep down inside my core (about 3.5 months in to be honest), I knew that “situationship” was never going anywhere but I CHOSE to stay with him or go back to him. No one can steal almost 2 decades of your life (with exception of slavery) without you at some point giving them permission to. Like I said, I use to be her. I’m still pissed about the 5 years and 3 months of wasted time but I take responsibility for it. The Ex Factor could only take what I willingly gave. So my letter was for the woman because I am a woman. I can only address what I can identify with and understand. Brenda’s position was that she never wants to be a mistress because it’s not a feeling she’s comfortable with. Clearly my moral compass is different than my siblings. Let me be crystal clear on something…I don’t mess with people’s marriages. Women have taken my men and I’ve sometimes willingly or accidentally taken theirs. Boyfriend and girlfriend shit is just that…SHIT. Show me somewhere in the law books or in the Bible where it says respect a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship?! I’m not saying I was in the right but if you all remember correctly…I wrote “Dear Girlfriend” before actually committing the affair. I’m not always living right (but who is?). I gave the girlfriend some warning shots/advice. If you want your union to be respected then you need to come up with something better than girlfriend/baby mama. Aim high! As for anyone judging my past mistakes or my current stance, I practice what I preach. I’ve had women cheat with my man and guess what…I was angry with HIM! A woman who doesn’t know me, doesn’t owe me shit. She gonna get hers. And I can’t blame her since I was settling for girlfriend and not aiming for WIFE.?? My position is not about who is right or wrong. In the midst of an awakening, you will encounter the righteous and the unrighteous. You must choose your position. I just drop knowledge that comes from my truth. My naked truth! That’s what blogging is about. Every story I share, I get buck naked in front of you. After all, I am human which by definition means that I am a sinner. Our awakenings will never be cut and dry. It’s a journey where we are alert to the good and evil in our truths. I do not blog in black and white. I stay in the gray. ~KJM on Throwback Thursday saying I really appreciate my siblings, Junior and Brenda, for expressing their truths?