Well! Well! What day is it? It’s Throwback Thursday and there’s no time like the present to revisit some of the skeletons in my closet!??? If you have been following this blog for more than a day…you already know that my moral compass is set to SHADY! I have definitely messed with two guys (that had girlfriends) during times I also had someone in my life or during a quick intermission. You know my motto on girlfriend and boyfriend relationships (whether you agree with it or not): here today…gone tomorrow!✌?️I’ve taken chicks’ men (but on the real I always return them) and chicks have definitely taken my men! Such is life. But let’s take it a little further! You know I don’t play when it comes to married men! I’m allergic to them! My motto here is if they are a problem for the wife…then they damn sure are going to be a fucking problem for me! Ain’t nobody got time for that!??✌?️ Plus (and it may sound silly to some of you) I don’t play with what God put together and sealed with His love! Marriage may not be in my future….but I damn sure respect it! It’s not easy for any gender (despite a popular belief that it’s easier for women to commit) to promise to love and be with someone forever! The promise itself may be easy…the work of eternity to grow together and not apart…well that’s some real work right there! Now onto why we are brought together today…we are paying homage to the silent…know her place MISTRESS! Hear me out before you stop reading! The other day I read that a Jersey man’s wife AND long term girlfriend both posted obituaries for him in the same paper…with the same picture!!!! Let’s take that in for a moment! Wife and Mistress both decided to publicly bid farewell to this man! Now I don’t know the situation and I’m not even going to speculate on whether they all knew about each other or not but damn….y’all both used the same photo?! Even more importantly…who in the hell told mistresses they could speak?! I’m being serious here! I wrote “Dear Girlfriend” as my alter ego…it was fictional. Not the content but the me contacting the girlfriend part! Never in my life! Chicks have called me for sure and I don’t get nasty with them. I just skool them….your man is who you need to be yelling at. He made a promise to you! Not me! And trust and believe the times I’ve been cheated on…I’ve had no dialogue with the other woman! If she ain’t my friend or my family…she really owes me nothing! But now wait a minute….if she is my friend or family…her beat down coming first because “chicks before dicks.” That bitch would have owed me more respect to say the least! His house would still be set on fire though! Lol. Figuratively speaking of course…because I’m a lady that knows that success is the best revenge! So y’all don’t be out there living a life of crime over a man! I don’t give a damn if he is your husband…your future and your family matter more than him and his drama! But I digress…back to the outspoken and public Mistress! I remember the days when they just hid in the shadows as folks whispered about them…whenever they would suddenly be in a public place. Even in my generation…mistresses weren’t a valued thing! Monica Lewinsky sucked dick quietly until the scandal broke! Silent is what I prefer! All this “I’m Tiger Woods’ Mistress Number 25” shit got to go! There were so many of them…that the media no longer referred to them by names! Just a fucking public number! And for what?! Interviews and book deals?! In my Toi voice….SAT DOWN! And then briefly get up and have a couple more fucking seats! Mistresses have existed since the days of concubines and perhaps even pass that! They aren’t going away! It’s bad enough to hurt a wife silently but to then go on and publicly disgrace her?! Oh hell naw! Know your place! Gal u no de wife….if you don’t respect anything else about her you better respect her legal title and her divine position! Even in boyfriend and girlfriend situations…I’m not calling up Phoenix’s baby mama! ? Where they do that at?! That is still his child’s mother! If for nothing else…I respect that. Any conversations to be had is between her and him. And Phoenix never dared contacted none of my dudes…even though through social media he knew who they were! He knew his place as I knew mine. We don’t bring drama to each other’s door! To kick this conversation up a notch, I’ve been cheated on many times in my dating life (some I knew for sure and some I suspected). Whenever confronted by a mistress…my motto was always…KEEP HIM!✌?️ Cause I know the devil I laid with and now he’s your problem! The only exception to that rule is the Ex Factor! I truly love him so that shit would hurt! But I have been there before…Even though he denies that anything physical ever happened…in Fall 2012…I felt someone was in my back yard! To my surprise…I didn’t cut his ass…I just left him with no notice and by the time he caught up with me I was down south in another dysfunctional relationship! Now I will always regret Mister Toss Salad but I do not regret moving on when I felt disrespected! I did what I felt was right for me at the time and I had some life lessons to learn about myself! Boy did I learn them too! But on the real…that shit cost us two years! And I digress again! Mistresses need to go back to the old adage of “speak when spoken to!” No need for book deals, public obituaries, nor interviews. ? My moral compass ain’t the best but even I know that disgracing another woman like that just isn’t right! Know your position and act accordingly! Now before I let you guys go….here’s today’s shady comparison! In my eyes…a side piece is a jump off. She has no interest in staying with the man. A side piece never wants the full time job of the wife and/or girlfriend! But a mistress….she’s invested for the long term. She may want him and may even love him. A mistress wants that man to leave his girlfriend or wife! She’s got her “eyes on the prize” (prize…as in lack of a better word). Side pieces tend to stay quiet. Give them the sex and the money and y’all are even. For a Mistress, however, there’s no amount of money that will make her go away! The problem with today’s society (cheating isn’t going away so there’s a bigger issue here) is reality television got every side piece and mistress hyped! Selling their souls double….for some fame! Now it’s hard to tell who’s who! Why do I even bother to make this shady comparison? Because I want to let the men know (same goes for us women as a matter of fact)…choose wisely before you decide to jeopardize your marriage! And if you are dumb enough to cheat…make sure you know whether you are dealing with a side piece or a mistress! The mistress’s under cover job is to wreck your life (not that you needed help)! So you better “check yourself before you wreck yourself”…especially if you do want to work on your marriage! And for goodness sakes….please do not further embarrass your wives publicly! Dealing with cheating is difficult enough much less to now make a public spectacle of it! To the Jersey man who got this whole conversation started…I really hope your wife cremated your ass and got a huge life insurance policy lump sum! As I’ve said in my previous blog…“Reasons Why Her Husband Will Never Be Yours (A Single Woman’s Perspective)”…one of the greatest reasons for never being a married man’s mistress is…it’s financially stupid! If he is worth anything and drops dead….the wife will most likely get everything! My morals are off but I’m always about my coins! Can’t take love for another woman’s husband to the bank! That check will always bounce!?? ~KJM on Throwback Thursday…saying don’t judge me…lol.