Lately, I have been a little stressed. When I get this way, all my creative juices dry up. No pun intended. LOL. One thing that always puts a smile on my face is masturbating! We know men do it but for some reason women shy away from it! I remember watching an episode of “The Oprah Winfrey” show and hearing women in their 30s and 40s…admit to never touching themselves! What the fuck? My vagina is at the center of all I do. “She” is smart, fierce, and when she wants to…she brings me true pleasure!
I started masturbating at the tender age of 14! My body just had these urges and I knew I didn’t want to share myself with anyone else. Masturbating was so good for me that even when I met my first love, Julio….I made him wait until I was almost 19 (2.5 years into our relationship) to lose our virginities! I am so proud of myself that I feel like getting under my covers and touching myself now! Ok….before I get carried away…back to why women should masturbate proudly! This one is for my sister, Brenda and all the women who do not see the benefits of masturbation or are too uncomfortable with the topic to embrace it. Before I take you there, bare in mind that my college nickname was “Oops” based on two songs: “Oops I Did It Again” by Britney Spears and “Oops (Oh My)” by Tweet which is actually about female masturbation! Score! Okay ladies please take a tour with “Oops” deep down masturbation lane. You are now entering the female pleasure zone….buckle up and get ready to moan! Here are the top 10 reasons why you should be touching yourself:
10. IT’S A QUICK WAY TO RELIEVE STRESS! Why go for a run or have a drink after a long day at work when all the relaxation you need is right inside of you?! Suggestion: Run a hot bath and slowly get to know “her.” Start with massaging your clit. If you still need some help to relax and play, grab that glass of wine! Wine, a hot bath, and masturbation…what a way to end a stressful day!
9. IT ENHANCES YOUR PORN EXPERIENCE! I don’t know if any of you are like me but I usually fall asleep on porn movies. There is simply no plot and a creepy cock as the main focus. One of the ways that I enhance my porn experience…is watching as I use one of my vibrators on my clit. That stimulation alone…gets me off quickly! Suggestion: Try it. Break out one of your toys (buy one if you don’t have one) the next time you feel like watching porn. It will definitely enhance your experience.
8. IT’S A SINGLE WOMAN’S BEST FRIEND! Instead of hooking up with random guy after random guy (no judgment here), you could be pleasuring yourself while you are patiently waiting to bump into the right man. If that pussy is nice and tight…he will thank you later for not running it through 5 million guys! Suggestion: This is the new celibacy. No more getting horny and going to bed sad. Pull out the “jack rabbit” and make it a Hulu night until you find the one!
7. NO STD RISK! Piggybacking off of number 8…the more time you spend sexing yourself, the less you have to worry about risky sex partners. You are a party of one and climaxing is oh so fun! Suggestion: Get to know you so that you have an idea of what you are looking for in a sexual relationship with another partner!
6. CLIMAXING IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL! I tend to have a hard time climaxing with a man inside of me. On the bright side, I can almost always climax when my vibrator stimulates my clit. I prefer vaginal orgasms but until I can achieve those again…why give up cuming all together?! Suggestion: Climaxing a few times a week will definitely put a smile on your face.
5. PROMOTES MONOGAMY IN A RELATIOSHIP! Some of you have men that are in the military or travel a lot for work. Masturbation is a great way to stay loyal to your man while still meeting your every day needs. Suggestion: Try this out the next time your man is going to be away for a while. Between phone sex and masturbation….the sexual chemistry probably won’t die between the two of you.
4. MASTURBATION IS A GOOD WAY TO LEARN YOUR OWN BODY! To all my virgins and/or inexperienced readers, at some point in life you will have to have a conversation with a partner about what you need in the bedroom. When you have spent time studying your vagina and learning how to please her…it is so much easier to point a partner into the right direction. Suggestion: Try it and you can easily draw a map to your next orgasm!
3. MASTURBATION IS A VEHICLE FOR OPEN COMMUNICATION WITH YOUR PARTNER! All the time you have spent pleasing yourself will never go to waste. I’ve mentioned it before but it is worth repeating…when you know your body well…you can guide someone else to your mountain top. Taking things a step further, being open with yourself gives you the tools to verbally be open with your partner. You will be more likely to request certain things in the bedroom, be willing to be taught by your partner on how to please him, and more importantly, be more willing to discuss when there are major issues in your sex life. Suggestion: Explore yourself and be ready to explore your partner. The longer you are in a relationship, the more a continuous conversation about pleasuring each other will need to come up. People’s needs and wants tend to change over time. This means even you will change over time. The way I pleased myself at 14 years old is NOT how I please myself now. Even the frequency of my need to masturbate has changed. When you realize you are changing naturally…it’s fathomable that your partner may change too!
2. IT FEELS FUCKING GREAT! This should be a no brainer but of course masturbation feels awesome. Like any great consensual sexual act, you get to watch yourself go from zero to one hundred as you climax. And best part is…you know you made it happen! Suggestion: Don’t be afraid to enjoy your sexuality. All you have should be for you to enjoy first…before you decide to give yourself to someone else.
1. MASTURBATION IS A GREAT WAY TO TEACH A YOUNG GIRL HOW TO APPRECIATE HER BODY! There is so much body shaming of young women today. Between being encouraged to be a size 0 and also have a big ass…the world is a crazy place for young women. I know some of you may doubt me but masturbation teaches a young woman how to love her body, appreciate it, and train it to be disciplined. When a woman knows how to take care of her own needs…she has no need to seek from the world answers she can find within herself. Suggestion: For those of you with teenage daughters, have the sex and masturbation talk with them. Don’t let the world educate your daughter on her worth and her sexuality. Knowledge
should start with you! ~KJM on Throwback Thursday saying shout out to Prince and Tweet as I sing:
“I knew a girl named Nikki
I guess you could say she was a sex fiend
I met her in a hotel lobby
Masturbating with a magazine
She said how’d you like to waste some time
And I could not resist when I saw little Nikki grind!”
~ “Darling Nikki” by Prince