Kingston Expressions

Writer, Editor, & Lifestyle Blogger: Sex, Lust, Love, Celibacy & More 🥰 A woman not afraid to walk in her truth....in style of course 👠 💄

Day 7! I Salute Our Ancestors! 

by

And Day 7 shall be a special day! SAY IT LOUD! I AM BLACK AND I AM PROUD! Today I salute our ancestors who endured apartheid, slavery, Jim Crow, and genocides around the world! Where would I be without you? You experienced lashes, burns, bruises, rapes, and even death to your bodies so I could live! No one could be brave and bold enough to endure deep oppression of the mind, body, and spirit AND still give birth to new nation of black children ready to continue on your mission! Long live the spirit of our black ancestors during these current times of darkness and evil around the world! ?? What has destroyed other groups only made us stronger. No one but you understands why we are still standing. It is your blood, sweat, and tears that we use to inspire us when we march and stand up against injustice! All Hail the Spirit of Our Ancestors and let us never forget what they went through…for us! ?? ~KJM on Temptation Tuesday?

Day 6! I Salute Black Feminists! 

by

Day 6! SAY IT LOUD! I AM BLACK AND I AM PROUD! Today I want to salute some of the original Black Feminists like Ida B. Wells that paved the way for me to be who I am! ?? Mainstream White Feminism has never been the same as Black Feminism. Yes there are some similarities in today’s times but the struggle of black women around the world can be compared to no other. We are more likely to be beaten, raped, murdered, and forgotten…sometimes even in our own communities. We are seen as the least valued women yet we rise upon it. We are successful, we march for us and all groups underrepresented, we raise our children with little to no help from anyone else, we hold our heads up high, and we love ourselves! ?? What makes the Black Feminist so fucking amazing is she blows doors open with her own home made ammunition….for herself, her sisters in the struggle, and even for women who do not believe in the feminist agenda. She doesn’t just say “Fuck the Man” aka White America…she also says fuck any man who stands in her rise to glory! The Black Feminist is THE QUEEN and whether you all know it or not…each of you reap benefits from all the battles she’s won! All hail the QUEEN! ?? #becauseofyou #ican

Day 5! I Salute Black Business Owners!

by

Day 5! SAY IT LOUD! I AM BLACK AND I AM PROUD! Today I want to salute all the BLACK BUSINESS OWNERS…past, present, and future! From our farmers to our lawyers, I want to thank you for stepping outside of the box and providing for our communities. In the nightmare that we were repeatedly told…we were meant to have nothing of our own. We must wait for White America’s hand me downs…the nightmare said. But many of you believed in the dream…some even before the dream was ever even spoken of. Many of us were too scared to break away from the nightmare but there were trailblazers who believed we could build our own businesses and work on our own land…not as slaves but as entrepreneurs! BLACK OWNED means so much more for our current generation and generations to come! I thank you! Today I want to salute some of the Black business owners I know: Damon Pendleton Jamar Creech Sharri D. Mapp-Jones Trena Smith God-Is Ike and the newest arrival…. Desmon Andrade #yeswecan ~KJM on Serenity Sunday?

Day 4! I Salute Black Teachers

by

Day 4! SAY IT LOUD! I AM BLACK AND I AM PROUD! Today I salute all our black teachers and professors! No one could ever really get me to understand my ancestors and my history like someone who has walked the path of discrimination, injustice, and hatred like I have. No one could teach me to love my pain and to use it to nourish my soul…instead of letting it hold me back…like a black teacher. No one knows how to teach my struggle with pride in their eyes like a black professor of life! Today I shout out two real life black teachers/professors and thank them…for enriching all the lives of black children they have inspired… Tish Gotell Faulks Dameka Harrington Cole ~KJM on Serenity Saturday! My BLACK is beautiful ?

Day 3! Black Writers

by

Last year, I did a countdown during Black History of why I love being black! I shared it on my private Facebook page. This year I am doing it again and decided to share on this page and all my public social networks. Please follow me on my public social networks! ? Will do my best to share each day with you all! “Day 3! SAY IT LOUD! I AM BLACK AND I AM PROUD! Today I salute all the black writers past, present, and future! I feel like I came out the womb reading. When I was handed books like “The Adventures Of Tom Sawyer” in school…I was absolutely disgusted that this was “required” reading. How dare they diminish my sounds of blackness and make me doubt myself!!! No one can tell our stories better than us! ?? You can study us and try to replicate us…but our true stories of trials and tribulations are LIVED! I thank all the black writers from all over the world for inspiring black girls like myself to pick up a book and read with a heart wrenching enduring love for all we have gone through and to even dare us to write our own stories! Kingston Jael Michaels could not have been born without you! ??” ~KJM saluting Black Writers on this third day in February…a flashback Friday?

Awaiting BOAZ Letter 5: Prove To Me That You Are Happiness

by

It’s time to go…I heard a voice say. I stood there…frozen in time…but I was not numb. There were tears rolling down my cheeks. I…was feeling…this moment. Could not escape it by heading to the land of numbness. I had to be aware of it so that I fully understood where and why I was leaving. Time to go…I heard the voice say once again. And so I began to cry. Why now…I wondered. There were so many other times I had prepared myself for it. Now this moment was swallowing me up…silently. My tears flew freely but no sound could found from my voice. I stood there…still frozen in time. Asking God why me and why now? Then the voice spoke again…‘No happiness can be found here. He will never understand nor appreciate how special you are!’ I cried and cried…not because I had to leave the place I had fought so hard for in the last six and half years…but because I knew deep down inside that it was true. Around October 2012, the Ex Factor lost his ability to make me happy. Sure there would be temporary glimpses of happiness over the next few years but nothing to sustain my heart. I would briefly smile and then find myself running off to cry. He…would essentially…be the memory of sorrow for me. I…would remember…and cry. Mourn how hard I tried and he always left me feeling less than. Deep down inside, I know that how people treat other people is more of a reflection of how they feel about themselves…and less about the person they are trying to break into two. But my heart could not help but feel abandoned. I had walked away so many times…only to end up right back where I left off. And to add insult to injury…I have been lonely. The only loneliness I have ever known…is not when I am truly alone (that’s my comfort zone)…it’s when I love a man who does not treat me with the utmost respect and care that I deserve. Julio and the Ex Factor were by far the worst for my self esteem. My other men may have not been right for me but I was always treated like a queen by them…all except for the two I actually loved. So here I am…still frozen in time…only now I feel like the air is thin and I cannot breathe. I feel stuck…trapped and so unhappy. Truth be told, these last two months that I have not seen the Ex Factor in person has been the happiest I have been in the last two years. We speak almost daily but I do not have to fear him breaking my heart again for I have kept him at a distance…where I can truly see him as he is. I fell in love with the man he never was. The uniqueness I had once seen in his eyes…has become quite common. In his mind, he was happiness but my mind, body, and spirit knew different…he can never be anything but misery. ‘Time to go,’ the voice said again. I slowly gathered my things and stopped crying. No idea where I am headed next but had finally accepted that…the Ex Factor will never be able to prove to me…that he is happiness. And so I start my journey…a little bruised and a little broken…but with hope in my heart. You see…I believe GOD IS ABLE and HE and ONLY HE can turn any situation around. The thing is…I don’t believe HE wants to. Perhaps I was suppose to take the hard road to true love so that I will never look back at what could have been. I know what was. It was filled with tears and misery and that’s how I would remember it. And so now more than ever…I await BOAZ… As my soulmate, I will never have to ask BOAZ to prove to me that he is happiness…because it will be felt in just the way he looks at me…the way he holds me. BOAZ won’t be buying time with me until he gets to where he is going. I will be everything to BOAZ and he will be everything to me. And if you are wondering what I have held on to that I have given no other man…that will be just for BOAZ…it’s an everlasting love and trust that I have never known any other man to deserve. He will be MY FIRST and MY ONLY for so many things. BOAZ will be all that and more….because that’s GOD’s promise to me. And HE IS AN ON TIME GOD! ?? So I start my journey…hoping to never look back. And I faithfully await BOAZ…hoping he is preparing for me as I am preparing for him… ~KJM is keeping the FAITH on Charm School Monday❤ With the Ex Factor and I…you never really know when the real end will come. However, there is something so profound about where we are right now….that my happiness is at its highest when he is not around…and I want to stay happy! ?? 

The Art Of Effectively Saying Hell No 

by

One of my 2017 goals for this blog is to start consulting women on how they can effectively say no in their personal and professional lives without feeling like a bitch. In one of my previous blogs, I spoke about how women are lagging way behind men (career wise) because we do not negotiate for ourselves like men do. There are also many other factors that contribute to why men are still making more than us but when we fail to demand what we are worth…we are cut short even if we are in a position to make more. Listen up because today’s blog will be very helpful! Society tells a man that he must demand respect and go after what he wants. When we women do it…we are called aggressive bitches! First thing we have to do is drop the stigma that because we are going after what we want assertively…that we are bad people! Growing up, I watched my mom over extend her mind, body, spirit, and money to her side of the family and her tacky ass never having a good job (or any job) friends! ? I vowed never to try to please anyone to my detriment except myself…and pleasing myself will rarely lead to my detriment! ?? If someone does not like how I handle a situation…tough for them because I’m going to always do me! This is exactly why my favorite word is NO! I do not hesitate to put folks in their place when they are imposing unreasonable demands on me…professionally and personally! Yes I have been called aggressive my entire life but I’ve learned to see that as a compliment! Because I stand up for myself…I am aggressive?! ✌? That sure sounds better than being a doormat! I have no desire to please anyone but myself and it shows…even in my walk! ?? So why do many women have a hard time saying no to those around them? 1. Society tells us we should be polite and by polite they mean…always put others first before ourselves! Oh hell naw! ?2. Our nature is to nurture…everyone but ourselves! 3. We have a fear of not being liked! And 4. It makes us uncomfortable to be so confrontational! This is why many of us have the men in our lives negotiate and handle sticky situations for us! ?I am sure each woman also has some unique reasons for not wanting to say no to others but those 4 are the most common themes I have seen. Ladies, this year we have to do better! 2017 is the YEAR OF NO to anything that does not serve a positive purpose in our lives! We have to stand up for ourselves! And I promise you the more you assert yourselves…is the more the universe will deliver what you demand! ?? If I haven’t convinced you to make a change yet…here’s an example of what too many YESes will do to your lives! We bought our first house when I was 14 years old! I hated living in an apartment as a child and was so excited for the positive change! Well my mama ruined that experience for us all by taking in every stray relative and friend! ? Some of them even robbed us on the way out! I am still surprised we have our kitchen sink! ? Bumb bitches (girls and guys not doing a thing with their lives) don’t give a fuck! They will wear your draws, not say thank you, rob you, and then diss you to everyone they know! ? No matter how my immediate family suffered…my mother would keep helping people who would never lift a hand to help her if she was in need…pissing my father off every step of the way. ? We all could not understand her motive! We could see the users from a mile away…yet she would choose only to look for the good in them…even if they robbed her last time! ? Do not be Mama Michaels!!! Yo if you are on your face and I have a couple of extra bucks…I will send it to you but you cannot come live with me and my family! That’s my family and my house is the place I am the most vulnerable at!!! Their happiness means way more to me than anyone else’s happiness! I won’t jeopardize that peace and tranquility for others…don’t give a fuck who you are! You cannot live off of me! ?? You better take this here 5 dollars and beat it…never expecting more! Leeches! But I digress! ? What are some situations where you find it difficult to say no? Please let me know and as the year goes on…I will address how I would effectively turn down offers that drain my mind, body, and spirit! ~KJM blogging on the subway on this Flashback Friday! One NO can start you on a new life track!?? Assert yourselves…don’t lose yourselves! 

Expecting People To Change (The Netflix And Chill Generation Has Killed Romance) 

by

This morning I definitely woke up on the wrong side of the bed! My day job is going to be very demanding for the next two months….that means I start my day at 4:15am and end it anywhere from 8:30pm to 10pm! ?I AM A WOMAN ON THE EDGE! ?So since I’m running late and already had to cuss someone out on the bus…I figured I would bless y’all with my sunshiny personality! ? As a single woman, I count down the days between the holidays and February 15! After February 14, single folks can spend the rest of the year celebrating their singleness! No Hallmark holiday to shame me for not having a man! I can just BREATHE! ?? As I count down to my emancipation day…I cannot help but think about some of the best and worst Valentine’s Days I have ever had! ? My best was with MR. TOSS SALAD…he spent 4 days whining and dining me in Atlanta. You know the ugly ones got to do that! ? Everything was about me and the best part of it was….I wasn’t expecting it. He even got some of our family and friends together to celebrate the weekend. No man had ever done that for me…I can give him that. I woke up every day with a gift at my feet! ? MR TOSS SALAD and I were not even dating! He had been trying to get at me since freshman year of college and now that I was broken-hearted from the Ex Factor…he saw his chance. From the Alvin Ailey Dance Company to the spa to the strip club…Valentine’s Day 2013 was everything! ?? Typically, all I want to do for that day is be with the man I love. I don’t need much but a true, everlasting, and securing love. The Ex Factor and I spent a portion of Valentines Day 2011 together and then I had dinner with my dad. We also spent a full Valentine’s Day weekend together in 2015. That was my most loved filled Valentine’s Day…because I was with the man I truly loved! ??? It had its beautiful moments but he also made me cry. He did all that I requested that weekend but complained about some things and introduced me to one of his associates as a “friend.” Granted we had not seriously dated since 2012 and he had not seen me since December 2013 but that shit still hurt. ? I cried in the bathroom of the movie theater, cussed his ass out a few times, and then got over it. ?That brings me to why I’m writing today. The Ex Factor does not have a romantic bone in his body. Not a one! ? In the beginning, the small sweet things he use to do for me and his need to make me happy every day…equaled romance but as the years went on…those things stopped. ? I grew up seeing my dad plan everything for my mom…even if he was upset with her. So I know romantic macho men do exist! For the most part, only my ugly rebound men with money were romantic….and that’s probably because their ugly asses knew they needed to kick mad game to get me AND keep me! ?My other men are pretty emotionless and believe romance is corny. Elijah, the oldest of the bunch, was emotionless and cheap so when Vday rolled around (February 2016), I bar/lounge hopped with my sister and my cousin. Had a great time and definitely recommend that for all my singles! Shit…I think I’ve gotten a little off track. ?People are who they are. The Ex Factor isn’t romantic so if we ever got serious or even got married…I should expect the same inconsiderate and emotionless man I dated! Lol. This does not mean that I can’t set standards for my needs to be tended to but it does mean…loving someone unconditionally means you cannot force what is not in them. Forcing a man to be romantic who knows nothing about romance is setting everyone up for failure! Got to be real with yourselves. People only change because they want to. So my suggestion for those who have an unromantic man…by Hallmark’s terms ???, is to find little ways that he can make you happy…that he’s capable of accomplishing. Perhaps he can watch the kids for an entire weekend so you can have a girl’s weekend or he can do more chores than he normally does to give you a break! Romance is what you both make it. I don’t need flowers or candy…I just want to feel LOVED! And if your man is from the “Netflix and Chill” generation, like the Ex Factor, you will have even more work than usual trying to explain to him why you want to feel loved year round! ? Everything in this current generation needs to be quick and easy…including sex…so romance is not dead for them…it never existed. ??? Good luck to all the couples who celebrate Valentine’s Day! And to my Singles…let’s synchronize our watches to 12:01am on February 15, 2017! Emancipation day is on its way! Let the countdown begin! ?? ~KJM blogging on the subway…on this very crazy Hump Day! Lord, please let me make it to work on time! ?????? 

Black Feminism verses White Feminism: Why I Marched (Not Promoting Divison But Promoting Truth Instead Edition)

by

I rarely get political on this page but since I VOTED and I MARCHED in the Women’s March in NYC…I had to respond to Azealia Banks…please check out the picture in this blog that will show you her post and MY response. ~KJM is a Black Feminist on Charm School Monday! 

The Affair… (The I Have Not Forgiven Him Edition)

by

This week has been filled with a world wind of emotions for America and our international communities! As we went from bittersweet memories of OUR beloved President (Obama #forever44) to anger about our current state of the union…we were on a grieving and fearful emotional roller coaster. Some where in the midst of this chaos, I found another aspect of my truth. I have been happier in these first 21 days in 2017 than I was in all of 2016. The Ex Factor and I speak…almost every day…but I haven’t seen him since November 30. While I know he misses me (and I miss him too)…I am not ready to see him nor spend time with him. My main focus is myself right now and if he’s bringing something to the table…it has to come in the form of ACTIONS and NOT WORDS! Since our beginning (well 3 months in is when he told me he wasn’t ready for a serious commitment and to be honest I wasn’t sure what I was ready for as I had never been serious about anyone) we agreed that if we weren’t happy and wanted to see other people we would let the other person know. I think all relationships should be this way. To me…we weren’t in an open relationship…we were just being honest about his age and my lack of knowledge of what I could give since I was always moving to other states for my own professional and personal development. No one wanted to be boxed in…but I did know I loved him so I asked for what I thought I could handle at that time…monogamy and honesty. Monogamy wasn’t ever an issue. We both needed that. When I first fell for the Ex Factor, I put him on the highest pedestal. ?Never had I done that for any other guy (and haven’t since). In my mind, he was as honest as they came and so open…heart was so open…ready for the taking. I remember waking up for the first two years (even in difficult times) feeling so in love and so blessed to have him in my life. I had never had a honeymoon period with a guy before…he was my first…and it lasted for two beautiful years! But I guess all good things do come to an end. ? Now to the thing I haven’t let go of…in October 2012, the Ex Factor’s behavior got so strange. He started canceling dates or just not having time to take me out. I immediately knew what was up…another woman. I was raised by a P.I.M.P. who taught me not only how to be one but that game must recognize game. The Ex Factor claims to this day that he never slept with her but my issue is deeper than sex. I believe he never slept with her…don’t think I ever doubted that. But as he was pulling away and they were becoming more emotionally connected…I felt so betrayed. Where a man’s heart goes is the ultimate betrayal because where the heart goes…everything else will follow. Sex I could fight but if he was falling in love with her or was in love with her…there wasn’t much I could do. I asked him for two months if he was seeing someone else and he said no. He did in fact lie to me. I can be shady as fuck but I’m pretty honest with it. During this time, Phoenix was there for me but I didn’t want to lean on him. He had spent years cleaning up my messes. I needed to stand on my own two feet. She was pulling him…taking him away…and I felt it. The day after Christmas (2012), I decided to cut the Ex Factor off with no explanation. From there my personal life spiraled out of control and that’s how I ended up in Atlanta in 2013…almost losing my life. It was the most broken I had been!!! If it weren’t for God and good friends…plus me moving to Richmond, VA for two years…I don’t think I would have ever gotten it together. I cried from the streets of NYC to Atlanta to Vegas and then in Richmond. The thing about it all is I’ve dated shady guys before and when they started creeping I wasn’t ever surprised nor upset. I either played the same game or cut them loose. Now it’s 2017 and the Ex Factor and I are still hanging on BUT to be honest, I never forgave him for lying to me. He fell from the highest pedestal to just one of those sneaky dudes who can never be trusted. This incident lets me know that I’m not the type of woman who can forgive infidelity. I sleep with it and it stays in the back of my mind. ? I grew up around so much cheating that you would think I would be use to it. What hit me hard with the Ex Factor wasn’t even the other woman…it was the fact that I held him to such a high esteem and never thought he was one of those dudes. When a person is capable of something you never thought…that’s a deep awakening of betrayal that does not easily go away. The Ex Factor wasn’t who I thought he was and I have taken that with me since October 2012. I don’t trust him…I don’t think I ever will. That’s how I know he is not BOAZ. I won’t have a reason to doubt BOAZ…. In the Ex Factor’s mind, he did nothing wrong so as we would continuously reunite over the years and talk about this incident…he would do nothing to secure me and to earn back my trust. He thinks he’s honest and if I don’t take him at his word that’s my problem. ? I never doubt my intuition. While he was saying he was happy with me…he was hitting her in the DM! After that, I always assumed someone replaced her. So I did me. Phoenix has been with us this whole time. And no matter how broken I felt…when I showed up at his door…he always made me feel wanted. Sex with Phoenix and I (mostly happening on the breaks the Ex Factor and I took) suffered because emotionally I wasn’t there. But you see…Phoenix is only one of two men I’ve been sexually, physically, and mentally attracted to! Just his mind alone…is reason enough to be around him. But that dude is a Scorpio and sneaky as fuck. That’s why I could never fall for him…I KNOW PHOENIX and he knows me. We do our dirt together…baby mama or no baby mama…Phoenix will be there when I need him. But I’m trying to be a different woman. Trying not to rely on him opening my mind and then my legs. Phoenix is that good fuck…every woman needs in her back pocket before she settles down. Even though I haven’t seen him since September 2014, he stands by me like a really good friend. He expects nothing from me and he listens to my needs…well a jump off has to or how else can he guarantee I will be back? Shout out to him! ?? And if you are wondering…Phoenix has always been with us. Once the Ex Factor wouldn’t commit…I was smart enough to not let my best recruit go! ? What’s the difference between what the Ex Factor did and what I did? (1) I told him from the jump about Phoenix…whether he was listening or not was on him and (2) Phoenix is no one I could ever fall in love with. He could never steal me away from the Ex Factor. Any time I was at Phoenix’s door was because the Ex Factor sent me there…emotionally of course! ?? For anyone wondering, “getting even” with the Ex Factor over the years didn’t make things better but it left me feeling empowered. I’m not some weak woman crying and waiting on my man to love me and recognize my worth…NO NOT ME! At the end of the day though…when you truly love someone…every spiteful thing you have ever done to them comes back to haunt you. I’m paying for my sins now with the Ex Factor. 2016 was our worst year…made 2012 seem like a cake walk! ? And there’s still no trust between the both of us. So I’m waiting for BOAZ while actively working on myself. I want to be a better woman by the time he arrives. ? So I keep the Ex Factor at bay…he can’t warm my bed again unless he has a solid plan but…that leaves me to wonder if that will even fix anything. Trust is gone…These are my confessions. Sick as fuck…yes this I know! ? However, Serenity is being honest about your emotions and setting your boundaries accordingly. ~KJM saying I am a work in progress on Serenity Saturday. ? 

Follow

Get the latest posts delivered to your mailbox: