It’s worth repeating. I have always been Team Olivia AND Team Mellie. Never felt the need to choose because both women are beautifully complex. You love them one minute and hate them the next. I believe Shonda purposely made her characters that way. Exposing their strengths and weaknesses and ultimately making it easy to fall in and out of love continuously with each of them. Last night, Olivia sat on her couch sipping expensive red wine (which from this point on will be referred to as THOT juice) as her life was being publicly exploited. She’s been on that couch for a while now almost as if she was taunting me to write this blog. Liv boo, we are black women! No matter what’s happening our asses better be at work trying to professionally piece our lives together! You are no exception to the rule. Here’s 10 things you need to know about last night’s episode:

10. Every person in life is complex. Olivia, while willingly, became a mistress accidentally. Nothing about her character says that she wanted this life. We can all say that we would never be in such a position (I pray never to be any man’s mistress) but no one knows where the roads lead and what challenges we face in this journey called life but God Almighty Himself. Even Jesus was tempted in the desert. Let us never forget that. Christ was tempted! Of course purely human flesh is going to perish and come up short. We are made in “His Image and Likeness” but we are NOT Christ. Let us also not forget that. Liv gave into temptation and there will forever be a price to pay.

9. You cannot choose who you fall in love with but you can choose how you act on that love.

8. Mellie was pro Olivia when Liv’s affair served her political purpose. Mellie calling Liv a THOT now is comical. After all, That Hoe Over There (Liv) helped the Grants get into the White House by using her intelligence and sacrificing her soul. So to Madame First Lady I say, please don’t forget that you let that hoe into your marriage and accepted her at the dinner table willingly just so you could get the title First Lady! There is always a price to pay for world domination Mellie! If Liv is a hoe, Mellie has always been her pimp.

7. All hoe jokes aside, Liv didn’t get the President by sex. He’s had a lot of that from many women during his marriage. She has his HEART. So she is a THOT that’s in a league of her own. The only way to keep a man is through his heart. It appears that the President’s heart has and will always belong to Liv. I can almost hear Liv singing to the president and at the same time reminding the world with each note:

“You terrify me, cause you’re a man, you’re not a boy
You got some power, and I can’t treat you like a toy
You’re the road less travelled by a little girl
You disregard the mess while I try to control the world
Don’t leave me, stay here and frighten me
Don’t leave me, come now enlighten me
Give me all you got, give me your wallet and your watch
Give me your first-born, give me the rainbow and the…

So go and challenge me, take the reins and see
Watch me squirm baby, but you are just what I need

And I’ve never played a fair game
I’ve always had the upper hand
But what good is intellect and airplay
If I can’t respect any man
Oh I want to play a fair game
Yeah I want to play a fair game”

6. Last night’s episode pointed out the double standard of how society treats women verses men in sex scandals. The media was focused on Liv’s sexual history from birth until now but failed to realize that Fitz is just as much a part of the problem. He’s also a THOT!!!! Even Mellie realized that the person who she needs to truly ruin is her husband NOT Liv! Wives, the man that took that vow with you is the person you should be mad at. A mistress owes no one anything. After all, she took no vows!

5. Mellie and Fitz have always been a political marriage made in hell! They were purposely set up to make Fitz into the president he is today. Sure there was a time they tried to make it work and even adored each other but let’s never pretend this marriage was one ordained by God. This marriage did what it was set out to do…rule the world! Back tracking like it was made by love is silly at best and delusional at worst. They wanted power and that’s what they got! Contract never said a damn thing about love!

4. “Hell knows no fury like a woman scorned!” Fitz had 18 months left of his second term! Why not keep Mellie happy and finish it out with his head held high instead of his pants swinging down low?! As his VP pointed out, when you are the president of the free world you do not get the luxury of acting like a school boy in love. His duty is to his country and he still has 18 months of that duty left!

3. Mellie may think impeaching her husband will get her the presidency but I still think there’s a better way. Perhaps she should have called up Hillary and asked her how she survived the sexual scandals with Bill Clinton! Now Hill may not become the first female president but she at least lined herself up to be in the running. Now there goes a smart and powerful woman. The only passion warranted on the hunt for power is the passion for power! Keep your eyes on the prize Mellie! Plus if Fitz is impeached and you do sneak your way into the presidency, who the hell will be on the campaign trails with you when you are aiming for a second term?! Silly Rabbit! Tricks are for kids!

2. Olitz ended the night by heading out for their first official date! Liv boo did you forget what your mama told you?! “You the help baby.” Right now you look no different than a Mammie from pre Civil War times! You are so use to cleaning up the master’s mess that you somehow got it twisted that you are part of the family and are now helping to increase the mess. Boo, news flash! You still the help! If you want to go down in history as the biggest THOT that ever lived then that’s your choice. But know that they are never going to let a BLACK woman who whores her way through Congress (referring to some of her past boos) and the White House be the First Lady. Thank goodness for Michelle Obama in real life or sistas couldn’t go out this morning with their heads held high! All hail the Queen/Our First Lady Michelle Obama! We love you boo!

1. While all this is happening, Liv has still spent most of her time sipping on the newly coined THOT juice…red wine. Bitch your life is falling apart and you are an intelligent black woman. Are you just going to sit there and watch?! Are you and Fitz just going to throw all your hard work away? All the sacrifices, all the deaths, all the embarrassments, and all the pain that was endured to get this man to the presidency and to build up Pope and Associates? Worst thing about That Hoe Over There is when she don’t know her fucking place! You a mess and need to really read up on the most recent sideline hoe rules. First rule of thumb….a THOT is always a back up singer and never the headliner. ~KJM recapping last night’s episode of Scandal while paraphrasing the Bible and other famous phrases. Also quoting SIA’s Fair Game.