I’m very much hungover but yet so self aware. I have a question for you and I want an honest answer. Please don’t answer with hallmark cookie cutter cliche responses that lets me know you have no clue who you are yet. Just be real with me. Will I always have to show him how to love me? Will I always have to point out when he’s being inconsiderate or when he has neglected me? Will I always have to point out how I want to be made love to? Will I always have to fight to keep my own identity as we grow? WE is just never going to sound better than ME unless all my me’s have been satisfied in a way where I am making room for we. Will I always have to wonder if he will love me forever? Will I always have to wonder if he will honor me with every step he takes? Will I always have to communicate my deepest fears and my greatest joys? Or is he suppose to already know all of these things?! I always see people posting on FB like they have the greatest love ever but I’ve learned that most people (men and women) are not being loved to their full potential. Somewhere along the line…they say…this just has to be enough. If the conversation must continue throughout our lives…then I can accept the task at hand. I will do my best to communicate what I want on this journey. It will make me uncomfortable at times but I will do it because chances are…his fears, desires, joys, and pains will change over the years too. But if we are both suppose to already know these things…we are trouble. You see our love is messy, confusing, insecure, and unreliable at times. That’s why you don’t see pictures of us just yet. I’m waiting for that magical hallmark moment where I can share that I’m being loved to my full potential. And before you rush to judgment…I asked him on a scale of 1 (being the lowest) to 10…how much does he think I love him. He said a 6 or a 7. Clearly even he doesn’t feel he’s being loved to his full potential! As I wait for your responses, I’m starting to wonder if the greatest part of love is what we give and not what receive? ~KJM
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