I don’t know what’s in the air but lately I’ve been second guessing myself. Elijah, out of all my men, has his shit together and can talk about the future without breaking into sweats. He’s also the first MAN I’ve dated. Spent so much time with boys that it didn’t occur to me that real single men exist. I’ve one main concern about him which I will keep private because it’s really between he and I. Last night, I was up talking to Willow about him and she gave me some good advice though I’m not sure I’m ready to take it. That Willow is always a champion of love! I envy the Pisces woman’s ability to make loving a man look like strength instead of weakness. While the Gemini woman struggles to be vulnerable, the Pisces woman makes it look like the thing to do! That’s why they balance us out so well! Did you guys know that relationships take lots of work?! It’s exhausting at times but when I think of where I’ve been I’m so happy with where I currently am! Amen! Still my past haunts me. There were early warning signs for many of the issues that ended my longest relationships. The ex factor blindsided me with a few until I was deeply in love with him but in general the things that separated us did rear their ugly heads the first 6 months into this situationship. Julio was a mess from the jump but like most women in my family, l held onto the first man I slept with because it was tradition to keep him around and then marry him. Thank goodness for growing up in the U.S. Had it not been for my education, violent upbringing (sad to give that any credit but knowledge is power), and my need to be independent, Julio’s controlling, unsupportive, and disrespectful ways might have gone unnoticed and I may have really married that fool! Shout out to the GREAT Pennsylvania State University for giving me an education and my freedom! WE ARE! PENN STATE! Julio always said that was his breaking point…when I chose to go to a great school out of state! I’ve no regrets about choosing Penn State over Julio! I will always love PSU, while for almost a decade I’ve been screaming, “Julio who?!” If there are any young women out there…trying to decide between a boy and their education…choose your education!!!! There is freedom in learning. No man can ever take that away from you. ?? Back to the issue at hand, warning signs. It haunts me the amount of them that I overlooked with Julio and the ex factor. That’s almost 19 wasted years! I cringe just thinking about it. To all the young women reading this blog, please pay attention to early warning signs in your relationships. Pay attention to deal breakers and moments when you feel you have compromised yourself. Please remember though…there is a thin line between warning signs and looking for signs. They always say if you go looking for trouble, you will find it. Fight the urge to sabotage your own happiness. I think that’s what I’m trying to figure out with Elijah….am I seeing a warning sign/deal breaker or did Julio’s negative phone call from last week….have me looking for trouble? I’m trying so hard to not breathe negativity and just love. All I can do is follow my gut. Stay tuned….~KJM on Flashback Friday saying we all deserve happiness. Before we sabotage it, let’s learn the difference between a warning sign and looking for issues. The struggle is real….
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