Finally! It’s Serenity Saturday and I’m blogging! Life has been so complex yet beautiful lately and as I work on me…some days I run behind on the blog. Part of it is I try to reflect on what I’m experiencing from many difficult angles before I write it down. That’s been a huge challenge for me in 2016…to see pass one point of view (mine).?? This week the Ex Factor and I had an intense over 2 hours conversation about everything that’s been bothering me for the last 6 years and how best to address it. It was a draining yet necessary conversation. I think some NATO negotiations may have gone down more easily.? But we hung in there and spoke about all of our options. I know he must have had a headache at the end of it because I sure did (and I generally love to talk). Thanks for hanging in there baby! ? I pray we don’t have to revisit any of those issues any time soon. And I have faith that most of them…we won’t. What I learned this week is the way I address and present my fears and insecurities are really more about ME than him. The way I tuck away my sorrows and waste them on tear stained pillowcases instead of handing it over to the love of my life. It’s really all about ME and my transformation into a more secure and strong woman who is holding herself accountable for her own happiness! Yasss hunni!?? Lets repeat that again!!!! I AM RESPONSIBLE FOR MY OWN HAPPINESS!!!?????? So if I’m holding grudges or not communicating an issue…that means I’m purposely choosing to be unhappy! It took me a second to wrap my head around that concept and trust me…I will keep revisiting it time and time again! I am a work in progress and so is he. At the end of the conversation, the air was still intense but then I hugged him to let him know…I’m still here. I’m still present…crazy and all. I still love imperfect me and imperfect him. But you know progress isn’t instant right? After he left, I wasn’t sure what I was really going to do. I’m such a “walk away from this shit” person and trust me some shit is worth walking away from and some things just need more work. More attention. More care. More love. Old Kingston kicked in around 3am when I awoke and started rethinking the whole conversation. Old Kingston said…”you’s a boss chick. You don’t got to deal with none of this.“ ✌?️ But before I made a move, new Kingston snuck in and said check in with your tiny village. I text Grace and my brother, Junior. Neither person could tell me what to do but I know that they both support US. By 5am, I was getting ready for work and something amazing happened. Grace and I were texting and new Kingston was in full control. And just like that I said…I’m just going to love him through it as I pray he will continue to love me through it. So just like that…I put my suitcases down and realized I’m home! ?? I have spent so much of my 20 years dating life…walking around issues instead of walking through them! Soak that in for a second! If you keep going around issues instead of walking (working) through it and find yourself in the same place you started…it’s time to stop going around it! Truth be told a boss chick ain’t afraid of anything. Not even love. Whatever the task…she is ready to take hold of her faith, walk with God, and trust that her victory in all aspects of life has already been written! ? ~KJM saying I pray you are being good to yourselves on this very HOT Serenity Saturday?
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