No one ever expects it to happen but it does occur in friendships as well. A season has ended…sometimes for no reason at all except for life keeping them apart but many times for very important reasons. Ten years ago my inner circle of my closest friends looked very different. The people I relied on to make me laugh and to stand by me in hard times have continuously been changing. Some friends remain the same like the Jessica’s, Zack’s (he would kill me if I didn’t mention him lol), Autumn’s, and Scarlet’s. They are part of an exclusive group I call my Original Gangstas (OGs)…friends I have had since my teens…and even grade school. I am truly blessed in friendship! ?? And then there’s a group I never thought I would ever have permanent fall outs with. People that as the years went on got self absorbed and would attack anything from my career to my personality. People who would forget me in my struggles and ride off on their high horses like they had never hit rock bottom before. They would leave me in silence…heartbroken and confused but God is so faithful that new friends or friends I had lost contact with would submerge and fill in the gap more than the lost friends ever had. To me, a betrayal in friendship is so much deeper than a romantic betrayal. There has not been one single man (romantically) I have ever put my entire trust in. I rely on my friendships to take me from storms to sunshine. My standards for friendship are so much higher than my standards for dating for I can do without a lover (easily) but my friends are my heartbeats. ? I have gotten to the point where I no longer explain to people why I have pulled away or completely cut them off. No explanation is offered when the situation just cannot be fixed. Once trust is broken and/or I realize I’ve been a better friend to you than you are to me…I distance myself. Sometimes folks get so comfortable to think they can squeeze themselves back in but it never works. We are broken. We cannot be worked on and often times I have signaled in the past the need to work on the friendship and receive no valid response. If you can live without real friends…power to you but I can’t. My friends are my family…for better or for worse. If you find yourself surrounded by no one that even resembles a true friend…ask yourself what have you been putting out into the universe? If you are self absorbed and on your high horse…consider yourself riding into the sunset ALONE. It’s comforting to think romantic relationships can fill the gap of true friendships but with the divorce rate so high….it’s doubtful that that is the case. ~KJM doing the friendship check on Charm School Monday. ✌?
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