It’s Hump day and I really wanted to write one of my “sex” blogs but something else was in my heart. Episodes 10 and 11 of the podcast series took me there! When Lioness submitted her first recording of “The End (Song Cry Edition)” I was moved to tears. She was the first performer to go way back in time followed by Grace with “Luther Can Impregnate Women From The Grave” which I believe was my very first real blog!?? Episodes 10 and 11 opened up a sea of emotions that I had long buried and to know that the Ex Factor is back in my life while Elijah is a distant memory…is surreal. I write to you guys frequently but once I put my thoughts down…I move on from it until that theme is revisited…naturally. Hence why the “Death To The Bad Bitch” series is taking so long to fully play out (Intro dropped November 2015 and Part 1 dropped in November 2016). ? I freestyle write so you guys are following me when I’m encountering these issues. To be a lifestyle blogger…means to not let any one emotion dominate your world. So if I feel heartbreak…soon I have to move on from it. Soon I have to give myself (followed by my readers and listeners)…HOPE! I HAVE TO PICK UP THE PIECES! No room to leave myself nor you hanging! ?? So when Lioness’ voice said it was THE END….I got chills up and down my spine. I felt that moment! Hell I lived that moment! And I really thought I was done! Too broken to fix what could not be fixed! Then time went on and it’s like I heard a voice that said “BUT GOD!” ?? I can only think that I was meant to revisit my love for the Ex Factor. There was something left that God needed me to learn! I have no clue what that lesson is. To be honest…I was so embarrassed to say I was ending it with Elijah and then two months later had to say that I’ve opened a door for the Ex Factor….AGAIN! ???For once, I let my heart rule me. I’ve cried so much…still…but not the kind of crying that left me feeling like a weak woman…more like the kind of tears that has given me STRENGTH! ???? So as I pick up the pieces and sort through them…I thank you for staying with me on this journey. For not giving up on me and for believing in me!? I have no clue what I’m doing but the podcast series teaches me that I’m close to my destiny! ?? When I hear each of my performers’ voices…channeling me…I believe in God’s promise to me!? And the amount of emotional support I’ve received from friends and family has been wonderful! Interesting fact about Episode 11…..I was so depressed by the break up with Elijah that I wanted to take a month off from writing! Willow asked me if I was going to China because they sure do have laptops there too! No reason to stop writing! And if I’m sad…write about that! And so I did. That time period gave birth to Episode 11!?? And to me…it’s one of the most beautiful things I’ve ever written! The feelings are so raw and true. I feel it! My producer: Loyalist and my engineer: ANS Studios had to finish the episode without me. I was absolutely blown away when I heard the finished product! Could you feel the rain, thunder, and lightning as my heart was breaking! Wow…and ironically…I was able to drop Episode 11 on a very stormy east coast day! ?? Yes…I FELT that storm! ~KJM on Hump Day saying stick with us in 2017! The blog continues daily and the podcast series should be back some time in January! ?
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