Yesterday I had a thought. If we treated the living like the dead…most of us would move on sooner rather than later. You see…death is so final. You cannot love one more day nor lay in your lover’s arms….one more time. It is an earthly goodbye…until you meet again on the other side…that is…if you believe in the other side. I know this all sounds so crazy but hear me out. If someone told me that the best part of him was never coming back…letting go would not be easier…but it would be forced upon me. When we lose an earthly love…many of us wait for their return…sometimes secretly. Hoping there will be a rebirth of love…and for some of us…that rebirth does occur. To those folks…I envy you. You get your heart’s truest desire and everything you went through to get to that person was probably worth it. There are times we all sell our souls and betray ourselves. You see for most of us…this betrayal was for nothing. We end up empty and broken. And for what? Many say to learn a lesson but I say I would have rather learned that lesson through reading books…at least then my heart would still be in tact. But I am not God and I don’t make the rules. So to me…one of the unlucky…it would always seem like it was all for nothing. For nothing. Broken for nothing. If someone had sat me down and explained the death of a living person the way my parents explained the death of a loved one…I would not feel so unprepared and lost. If someone had told me that the best parts of him that I had fallen in love with would never return…that it is a final and complete loss…I would be much more prepared to move on. If someone had explained that the mourning of the parts of him that either never existed or no longer exist was natural…I would be much more prepared to say goodbye. Death is so final and a rebirth is so rare and divine. I wish someone had explained that to me. The best parts of him shall not return…and by choice. If someone had said that his transformation cannot be undone unless God, Himself, wills it…I would understand my great loss and begin to grieve. Then I would pick up the pieces and slowly move forward. For death is final. It is final. The Resurrection is only promised to Jesus. For us sinners and lost souls…it is not promised. So why do we waste so much time praying for a rebirth of our lost love? Because we, humans, still cannot fathom the finality of the death of a living person. We only understand when people we love are lowered into their graves or burned into ashes but even then we take parts of them with us. The living breathing death of a relationship gives the falsity of hope. To many of us, it will never seem final but for many of us…it is final. If only we treated the living like we do the dead…then we could move on making peace with the memories we shared with no hopes of ever sharing them again…and save ourselves a lifetime of grief. He isn’t coming back. The best parts of him, my love, have long died. And so the mourning begins…this time understanding that I, too, am forever changed. ~KJM on Flashback Friday. People change for the better…only when they want to…not when we wish them to. ?
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