Once…I believed I wasn’t enough. Maybe if I was more beautiful, had the waistline the width of my hand, a huge video vixen bootie, and was younger than I am…life would be so great! Then “reality” tv exploded and there were chicks going under the knife for a perfect look and even after receiving it….lived a very sad existence! Even celebrities have huge moments of self doubt and watch their lives fall apart…no matter how much money they have!?No set of perfect looks and skills will guarantee that our lives will always go well. Perfection is a MYTH! So how did our society get so obsessed with it? It’s because somewhere along the line someone or something told us we weren’t enough. It may have been our parents, friends, society, our relationship experiences, a broken heart, or….ourselves! How ever we got here…we are here…a place where we stopped thinking we were enough to be happy and live a blessed life! ?? And so the list of what it would take to make us “perfect” grows longer and longer…as we step further and further away from who our Higher power intended us to be. Out of everyone I’ve ever dated…Julio and the Ex Factor were the two guys who always made me feel like I wasn’t enough for them! ?I didn’t buy into this theory when Julio tried to sell it for the last 19 years! I knew I WAS ACTUALLY TOO MUCH FOR HIM and we’ve both agreed that Julio never deserved me!!! I will give him that…he will say it in a heartbeat and accept he f*cked up! What he couldn’t get pass is the fact that in the last 7 years…I’ve been over him. Now the Ex Factor came along at one of the worst times in my life. I got out of graduate school at the height of the economic depression (2009) and couldn’t even find a retail job! If it wasn’t for my family holding me down through the dark ages (May 2009-April 2013), great friends, and meeting the Ex Factor I may have lost my mind! My ability to take care of myself is the essence of who I am. So I fell into a sort of depressive state where I lost faith in myself, put on like 40lbs since graduate school, and even started to doubt God! So when the Ex Factor started to tell me I wasn’t enough…I ALMOST bought into it. The things that kept me grounded were God and my father, Papa Michaels. While the Ex Factor would spend 6 years inserting himself into my life while yelling that as long as he had his boys and his family…he didn’t need me…my DADDY would spend everyday saying that nothing in this world was worth experiencing without ME!?? Thank you for this Daddy! My father told me in words and deeds that I AM ENOUGH and reenforced the great self esteem I was raised with! I AM A F*CKING QUEEN and can’t nobody tell me different! There will come a day when I will meet a man strong enough to support my drive for life and my serious work ethics! Cause you see when someone tells you that you aren’t enough…whether in words and/or actions…what they are really saying is THEY ARE NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU and they know you deserve better! Yes Queens! You deserve better! This obsession with perfection is just something to distract us from our full potentials! What GOD has for you…is for you! Never allow anyone to tell you that you are not perfect for only GOD is perfect and we were made in HIS image and likeness and were never meant to be perfect. It’s in the midst of our imperfections that GOD loves us anyways…AS IS! ?? Stay healthy and focused but stop telling yourself that if only you lost 10lbs…he wouldn’t cheat! Or if only you were more fun and/or athletic he would find you more interesting. Or even worse…if you were her…he would love you! Just STOP!?? You are who you are meant to be. Any improvements should be made because YOU want to for your own betterment. Look at Halle Berry, Angelina Jolie, J Lo, and Ambrose! Perfection and freakiness never made them happy! Not that I think they were selling perfection but in many of our eyes they were the quintessential women! Our imperfections are what makes us unique and in the end…I believe the true love of those imperfections (from ourselves and others) are how we will all find peace and happiness! ~KJM on Charm School Monday saying that you are all perfect to me! ?
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