Standing in the doorway…I suddenly stop. I am approaching a new season in my life. Before I fully enter into my new season, however, I pause to reflect on where I have been. Heartbreak hotel….with silver linings. Willow told me that one day I would say this and I would feel this way but I never expected it to happen so soon. I think she felt what I’m experiencing now when she married the love of her life. True love has yet to find me…though I am embarking on new adventures. Still this new feeling has made its home in me…unexpectedly. In this current moment, I am grateful to every boy that ever broke my heart or hurt my feelings because it has all lead to this awakening…this season of hope. Yes, every time I cried, was disappointed, or left bruised gave birth to this new season. Every time you didn’t say “I love you” or you neglected me…brought me to this moment. The times I asked you to stay with me longer and to choose me every step of the way…and you didn’t…brought me to this moment. The times you lied and were unfaithful…brought me to this moment. The times you directly or indirectly tried to put me down and hold me back from my dreams has brought me to this moment. Thank you to Julio, the ex factor, Elijah, and the rest for being great disappointments. It is because of these heart wrenching experiences that I won’t have to be the type of woman who settles for a man that she does not love nor one she doesn’t even want to touch her. I will never have to know what it’s like to sleep with the enemy again because I’ve already done that in my past and I survived. The enemy has no victory over me…for I still believe in ME! And in the most unexpected way…I still believe in love. What I was given was always less but I never fully accepted it. I moved on and started over and I will do that a million times until I feel like I am in the presence of man who isn’t trying to change me…who truly loves me for the complicated and intellectual woman I am. So thank you all for being my reminder of why a woman should never settle. Yes it is a new season and even when life surprises me during this beautiful journey…I shall wear my pain as a badge of honor and let it protect me as I stay open to a deeper and everlasting love of self and others. ~KJM counting down to my new season on Charm School Monday?
beautiful…where we are at the moment we realize is where we needed to be all along
things line up for a reason