Sometimes it pours out of me…this feeling of having so much to say…and other times I feel it but I cannot write it. Blogging is still a passion of mine…we are just going through a rough patch. Perhaps I’m in the throes of my 80th midlife crisis or maybe I am just trying to get myself centered again. Today it is pouring out of me. Here are some truths (as I know it) that I wish I had known before becoming an adult. 11. OUR WEIGHT WILL FLUCTUATE OFTEN! Whether you had children or not…your weight will fluctuate often…even in times when you think you have it under control. I have had my pouch since my 30th Birthday! ? I feel like it mysteriously appeared on the exact day! ??♀️ 10. MOST OF US HAVE ISSUES WITH ONE OR BOTH OF OUR PARENTS! Childhood scars stay with us our entire lives. They will be battle wounds that will get reopened when triggered in every relationship we have as adults. Very few people are blessed to have a childhood that they felt was close to perfect. 9. WE WILL LOSE FRIENDS! In our journey into adulthood, we will lose or outgrow many of our friends. Sometimes to death but mostly to family life. They will go off to the island of marriage and children and forget to write.??♀️ And we will mourn the good ones. I think I struggle with this the most right now. If I did not have Harmony and a few other friends to hang with…I would be a lone female wolf. ? 8. MOST FOLKS WILL REGRET NOT VALUING FRIENDSHIPS! I don’t care what anyone says…friendships are so important! They take you through school, marriages, divorces, parenting, career woes, and the ups and downs of life. You cannot rely on just your spouse (and definitely should not rely on your children) to ride out the waves of life. 7. YOU WILL ALWAYS FEEL UNDER PAID! Generally the older we get, the more we learn our worth. That means even our crappy careers that over a decade or two ago we were so happy to be a part of….will now feel like legal servitude. Sometimes I feel like I am being paid a dollar a day to put tiny buttons on shirts in an overheated dungeon! ??♀️??♀️??♀️ Ugh, unless you have your own business and/or are living out a life long career path…we will all get that sweatshop feeling sooner or later. ? 6. LOVE WILL NEVER BE EASY! Who in the hell makes up shit like “when it is right it feels easy?” Yea ok….when is building a life with someone easy? When is giving up certain freedoms, living spaces, dreams, careers, and sometimes our sense of identity easy? Fuck out of here! Love is work and work is hard! Anything you want out of life that’s worth having will require serious blood, sweat, and tears! 5. WE ALL SETTLE! I have a theory that most folks are not “happy” (whatever the fuck that means) in their personal lives. Whether it’s upfront or many years later…99% of us will come to the realization that we settled on some level with whom we chose as our ending destinations. Some folks will never choose a final destination and will set up at several ports before jumping back on their ships again. This is still a version of settling. These folks decided to settle on new adventures instead of ever investing in one. They never even took the plunge. In essence, they settled on playing it safe. ? This may be me if I’m not careful. 4. MOST MEN ARE NOT FEMINISTS! No matter how liberal you think your man is…deep down inside he still carries some sexist views. Don’t believe me sis? Start making more money than him and you will probably see an entire different version of the man you thought you knew! ? It is rare to bump into a man that truly believes in the equality of women. ?? 3. WOMEN HAVE HIGHER SEX DRIVES! Science has proven that as women age…their sex drives increase while most men’s decreases. Of course, there are exceptions to the rule. What somebody left out is some of us will have a higher sex drive than men in all stages of life! Besides Crazy (definitely) and maybe Phoenix (where my sex drive matched theirs for the most part)….my sex drive has been higher than every guy I have dated no matter his age. ?? While it seems that men cheat more…they are cheating with raggedy dicks…which don’t operate forever like our firmly tightened vaginas. ?? Child, why didn’t somebody warn me?! Now maybe part of my sex drive is genetic as I know BOTH of my parents have a very high sex drive (oh the trauma from my childhood bedroom being above theirs ??). Soon if I am not careful…I am going to have to go back to fucking just turned 20 year old guys! ???♀️ Bad sex and low sex drives are high on my dealbreaker list whereas most women put up with it in the name of love. ? I think that’s called marriage! ? FOH! 2. WE WILL ALL QUESTION OUR SELF WORTH AND OUR SELF ESTEEMS! If women like the late great Maya Angelou suffered from low self esteem (see her book called “The Heart Of A Woman”) and women like JLo and Halle Berry have suffered too…then what hope do those of us with less wisdom, less money, and less beauty have? Child….no matter how high you think of yourself…there are going to be many times in life that you will question your own worth! From careers to personal lives and even in friendships…self esteem will be a reoccurring theme. Good time to say…at some point we all accept shit in life and there will be times when we are accepting shit and it is NOT because of low self esteem!!!! Whew! ?? Sometimes we are being patient with people or trying hard not to give up on them because we are strong enough to survive their mess! ?? I wish somebody would have told me that…let’s say just as I began dating! ??♀️ 1. HAPPINESS AND THE 1%! Back to that word “happiness.” Happiness, to me, means making the best out of the shit you found yourself in and always making sure to put yourself first especially when the odds are stacked against you! ?? As for ones love life, I truly believe that much like Billionaires are like 1% of the world’s population…only 1% of couples truly end up with a partner that was perfect for them! ? The other 99% of us are fucked! ??♀️ Now of course, I don’t have those numbers down to a science but my life experiences directly and indirectly tells me that most of us marry or end up with just the wrong damn person for a whole host of reasons! The difference between divorcing now versus divorcing 20 years later? Just depends on how long it takes you to take a long hard look at your life! ??♀️ I know I may sound like a cynic but to be honest….everyday I pray I am part of that 1% that is rich in true and everlasting love! ?? Until then, I’m just chilling…trying not to dock permanently at any man’s port. ??♀️ ~KJM on Serenity Saturday. What are some of your life truths?
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