Today is Valentine’s Day 2016 and I can’t help but remember where I was this time last year. I woke up that morning with you and before I part with those memories, I would like to write my last love letter to you my dear ex factor. For 5 years and 3 months I loved you and only you. We met when I was 29 and you were 20. Though the odds were always against us…I took the risk and I loved you with all of me. I could see us being married and my stomach growing with your seeds. Though at times the weight gain and swelling of my feet made me sad, I would touch my belly and remember that I did it all for you and our family. I loved you enough to dream up a life I never dared to dream prior to you. I could see our three children running around the house with our three dogs. I could feel things I’ve never felt before. Even though I still have a love/hate relationship with you, I want you to know that YOU WERE LOVED! From the sparkle in your brown eyes to the smile on your face…I loved every inch of you. Even when you crushed my spirit, I loved you enough not to hurt you back. Although we have parted ways and have moved on…I couldn’t resist writing this final love letter. You are the risk I sometimes regret taking but in the same breath am happy I took. I miss your easy laughter and days of lovemaking. I miss all our nights at our favorite place. I miss all the sweet conversations we had in the hot tubs. We watched so many movies together. I miss making out with you like teenagers in the movie theaters. I miss all the days and nights we hung out by the Tappan Zee bridge. I miss days turning into nights which turned into mornings. I miss you and pray that things are going well for you. My love for you will forever make me angry and cause me to smile in the same moment. The life we will never have will forever saddened me but at least we both finally have a chance to find a love we can finally believe in…in other people. Thank you for the kind moments and soft kisses. Thank you for teaching me how to love…when I was not loved in return. Thank you, dear ex factor, for I’m now free to love and be loved. With all the love I once had in my heart for you, Kingston. ~KJM on this Valentine’s Day Sunday!
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