MOMMY Brain Verses BITCHY Brain

Okay y’all are going to really rip me a new asshole for this one. Apparently me and the mommies/wives are at war this week because there’s very few that I’ve come across that haven’t pissed me off! A couple of my college friends (WE ARE!) and I are suppose to being getting together for a reunion weekend. One of my friends, the only mommy and wife in the group, contacted me a few weeks ago with the confirmed date and host hotel information. Typically when we use to meet at Penn State, one of my boys would plan the trip, book the hotel for us, and then we all pay him when we get there. Since this is the first year WE ARE choosing another location than PSU, I listened to my mommy friend and booked my own hotel room…first at a cheaper hotel next to the host hotel (which was suggested by my mommy friend) and then at the host hotel when I realized the amenities there was worth the extra money! I told my mommy friend this and even asked if she was bringing her husband along…to which she said she wasn’t sure. I even thought about bringing the Ex Factor, which if you haven’t guessed by now….this is what our big blow out argument was about! Of course, he’s only interested in his friends and his life. SELFISH! But it’s cool because I’m no longer inviting him to even piss in my toilet!✌?️ Over it! But I digress. ? Yesterday my mommy friend contacted me to ask me when I was driving down for our trip. She invited me to her house in Cherry Hill, NJ so I could hang with her as she took her kids to soccer practice and then head to the hairdressers the morning of our trip! I quickly shut that down! Auntie Kingston love the kids but designates niece and nephew weekends for just seeing the children. She does not make time for children on ADULT ONLY weekends!✌?️ Better yet…where the fuck is Cherry Hill, NJ as my friend was acting as if it’s next to NYC. I grew up in NJ my whole life and can name all the cities right outside of THE CITY (NYC) and no damn Cherry Hill rings a bell. Matter of fact…one of my coworkers, who use to live in Cherry Hill, informed me that it’s 10 minutes outside of PHILLY and 1.5 hours out of my way for the reunion trip! That’s right!!!! My mommy friend wanted to make my 2 hour drive…3.5 hours! 2 hours to the host location OR 2 hours to Cherry FUCKING Hill and then another 1.5 hours to the host location!!! Okay I’m trying not to flip my shit at this point! How insensitive?! Because I don’t have kids, I got time to drive up and down the fucking parkway/turnpike! No ma’am!!! Oh but it gets better. My home boy, who usually plans our Penn State trips, contacted everyone in a group chat later that day and in that chat he asked if we were all staying together in the same hotel room?!!! I said no because I was told to book my own room by our mommy friend. To add insult to injury, our mommy friend chimes in to say she thought we were all staying together and pretended she never had any of the previous conversations with me!? Okay this is where I lose it! I remind her of all our previous conversations (she lucky I had a short lunch break and didn’t have time to take photos of all our conversations and send it to the guys). She apologizes and blames it all on MOMMY BRAIN! Now she does have two kids ages 2-5. Their exact ages escapes me now because once one of my friends starts having multiple kids don’t expect TWO things from me 1. For me to remember all their ages and 2. For me to buy each child a gift on birthdays/holidays!✌?️ Yea my pockets ain’t that fat so one gift for all the children ages 0-17 to play with because Auntie Kingston ain’t got time for it!!!! Now here is where I get dumb stupid! I tell my homeboy I can cancel my hotel and we can all stay together! I actually compromise!!! The hold up…you ask?!!! My mommy friend still does not know if she is bringing her husband…almost a week before the trip!!!! What the fuck?! Mommy brain my ass!!! I get being a mom is hard work, overwhelming, and depressing at times but y’all can’t blame plain stupidity and insensitivity on your damn kids all the time?! But if I say something…I am a bitch because I don’t have children and no mommy brain to blame things on!!! To my mommy friend I say….SAT DOWN! You have irritated the fuck out of me and if I even thought for a moment that crossing over and joining your club may be cool…you have just made me lose the taste out my mouth. I don’t have children but my time AND money are just as valuable as yours! You don’t get to fuck with people and blame it on being a mom! Hold yourself accountable for being a ditz!!! Auntie Kingston just ain’t here for it! I’m not even excited about this trip anymore!!!! She’s ruined it for me! I am so sorry if I’m being an asshole! Blame it on Bitchy Brains! Things that make BITCHY BRAINS explode: 1. The only man I love (the Ex Factor) won’t commit! 2. I cut his SEX off a month ago! 3. That means I’m not getting any either because I’m trying so hard to not be THAT HOE OVER THERE(THOT) that so many of you mommy friends accuse us singles of being…forgetting some of your pasts! 4. I have TWO demanding jobs! 5. I work 6-7 days a week…yearly for 10-12 hours a day along with a 3 hour daily commute! 6. On average, I get 3 hours of sleep a night…if I’m lucky! Yea insomnia is a bitch too! 7. I have student loans and no husband with a great job to help me out with that! 8. I am a SPINSTER! And oh yes…9. I am currently PMSing and am running behind in picking up my birth control prescription. So I better do that late tonight when I get home from work…for fear of getting mommy brain when dick finally falls out the sky!✌?️??~KJM on Flashback Friday saying I warned y’all from the jump that I was going to be ignorant as fuck today?