I don’t think a Grinch can steal Thanksgiving….but family sure can. Two days before Thanksgiving and I’m trying so hard not to lose my shit with my family! Don’t get me wrong…I’m grateful to have family to dislike during the holidays! I really am! But Jesus be a fence…must they be so grumpy and ungrateful during the holidays or any major event for that matter?!!! The Michaels family does no event well especially holidays and graduations! We are a non drinking household but keep the best liquors one can find in the islands in our home for guests! Though you better stick to a two glass minimum or we are going to think you have a serious drinking problem that you have not come to terms with! Yup! That’s how my parents feel about drinking…sigh. So that means I cannot drink my way through the holidays! I must put on my big girl panties and face all the drama head on! We are such a blessed family yet no one can stay in a place of blessings! I try so hard but folks just be trying me! As I try even harder not to lose my shit, how are you guys battling the holiday blues? Drinks? An escape plan? Bolting to the door or your room after the meal? Staying mute as relatives attempt to punch each other out?! Sigh…Thanksgiving use to be my favorite holiday until 2009. There was a huge shift in my family and we just never recovered from it. As I try to make sense of my now hate for the holidays I use to love, I think of all my readers and listeners! Some of you have suffered great loss this year and are now bracing the first holiday without a loved one. I’m definitely with you all in spirit….hoping that new traditions breathe life into your families. As for me…I still have a thong stuck up my ass…just trying to make it through the holidays! And I’ve the biggest wedgie! I’m hoping next year my money will be right enough to go to somebody’s island throughout the holidays! You know I don’t mind rolling SOLO!?? I just need a peace of mind and to be drama free. Now before I forget…some of you have IN LAWS!? I’ve heard terrible nightmares of these groups of people and I feel so bad for you! It’s my understanding that most folks cannot stomach their In Laws for a few minutes much less have to get through several holidays back to back with them! ? Grab your holy water and get ready to sprinkle down your In Laws or any negative family member…for that matter…when their heads start spinning around and their mouths start to throw up drama filled words…like they are in the movie “The Exorcist!” Joking of course! Lol. Try your best to stare the drama in the face and pass it by! Lastly, for those of you with normal family and love your In Laws…you stink! Lol. Send those of us that are less fortunate a bottle of cheap liquor to tie us over! Yes that should be your punishment for having a great life! ??? While you are laughing and hugging your loved ones….many of us will be reaching for the White Hennessy and the Wray and Nephew rums (also good for baking). While I do not promote drinking…the holidays and the winter time for that matter…brings out the worst in me and my family. I’m dreading each day that I’m stuck in the house with them…miserably pretending to be grateful for these very uncomfortable moments with them. Maybe one day I will look back at these times and truly miss them! But for now…I’ve a thong stuck up my ass and it’s almost Thanksgiving. Ba humbug… ~KJM wishing you and your family a Happy and drama free Thanksgiving! FYI I will drop Episode 10 next week and 11 the week after then the Podcast Series takes a break for the Christmas Holiday! So catch up on all 9 episodes thus far!
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