I Found Out

 I found out that you can love and lose. You can lose your way. You can lose sight of what made you love in the first place. You could hate. I found that out. There is in fact a thin line between love and hate. Paper thin. I found out that you can have self doubt. You can break down. You can lose hope. I found out…that it was never meant to be easy. Your skin will crawl. Your spirit will break but hold on because I found out that if it’s worth it…there is something on the other side! There are smiles after the tears. Moments of rebirth. Acts of faith just when you thought you had given up. A light at the end of the tunnel. I found out. It exists there…in the depths of my heart…the ability to try again. Exhausted. Tired. Emotions to emotionless. Self care. Rebuilding who you are as a person. I found out that the moment I stopped trying to control him and work on me…there was hope. The most amazing thing that I found out…was…that what I thought was impossible…is actually POSSIBLE! ?? You can fall out of love and fight your way back!!! I found out that pain will lie there but so will healing. I also learned that I was built to endure this storm. So many times on this journey…I asked the Lord why me? I was not meant to go through all of these ups and downs. I was meant to smile every day! But you know what I found out? The hardest battles are given to the most committed warriors. If you must…grab strength from wherever you can and choose wisely…what energy you breathe in. I found out…the road was easy for no one. And while my heartaches seemed unique to only me…others had survived the storm and lived to tell of the joys of the other side. ?? They were not storytellers…like I thought…no they weren’t. Instead I found out that they were legends. People here on earth to remind us that while it’s not an easy choice…it is a doable choice. The choice to choose love over and over! Self love first. Then the ability to share that with others. I found that all out in 2017. That each painful moment over the last 7 years has lead me to this epiphany! I found out that my heart is stronger than my mind. I found out…just in time to do something about it all. I found out that I am the master of my own destiny and the ruler of my own heart. I found out that nothing is impossible if I breathe in life…our lives…taking each moment for what it is. Not holding us hostage to the past and not enslaving us to the future. I found that all out. And while the journey continues…I could not be more grateful that I found this all out…when hindsight was not 20/20 but at a time when we still had each other. I found out. I found that all out. And I cannot help but feel forever changed. ? ~KJM on Flashback Friday.