If you have been following this blog from the beginning…you know first hand that I’m a hot mess! There were times I was heart broken and angry at the Ex Factor. Then there were times I tried to settle and make things work with Elijah…but no matter what…I did things MY way. It took dating Elijah to make me realize that I was 50% to blame for all the heartache I endured with the Ex Factor. Instead of communicating…I shut down on him and then I ran. Whether it was to an ugly guy that tossed a good salad or controlling Elijah. I’m finally done running. But the thing is I couldn’t have gotten to this point with the Ex Factor if I didn’t make lots of fucking mistakes! Elijah taught me how to be PATIENT and to accept the Ex Factor for who he was. I love him more today because of all the mistakes made along the way. The road is never easy but I love more freely now than when I was trying to do everything the right way and by my principles. So I’m grateful for the time we spent apart because I believe….especially the Elijah experience…will make me a better spouse. I created a lot of dramas in my head and some I really lived! At the end of the day, I’m always going to choose the Ex Factor. So what I have learned is when the bumps in the road come…hold on and get ready to ride it out. There’s no one else in the world I want to love, dislike, love even deeper, and then grow with like the Ex Factor. I’m in it for however long God has it in His design for us to be together. And I’m sure there will be more tears but I’m also sure there will be even more laughter. That laughter with the one I truly love is what I’m living for. Love you baby!? And thanks for being strong enough to always come get me from the depths of hell that I’ve placed myself in. Strength and patience with a touch of faith is what I need in a man. And now I have it! ~KJM giving you a taste of the present on Flashback Friday!?
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