Happy Charm School Monday! So much has happened in the last week that I know some of you probably thought I lost my damn mind! Last week was a week full of despair for so many reasons and I fell deeper into it! My thoughts on Phoenix were lead by complete sadness and madness but I will leave that discussion for Temptation Tuesday! On to today’s lesson! Last night, while out at dinner, a group of my female family, friends, and my mother’s friends ensued in a discussion of what an assertive woman like myself is really looking for in a life partner. As I declared and proclaimed that I would spend the rest of my life in a big house with 10 dogs….I know….the number of dogs is growing as time goes on…maybe it’s because puppies represent love to me…I dropped some Kingston Jael Knowledge on the women! While the women of all ages looked on in interest….I explained that I want a helpmate not a hurtmate! Now follow me closely. Even people we love will hurt us…whether it is intentionally or accidentally. And we will hurt them too! Don’t believe the quotes and books that say that love doesn’t hurt! Anything that requires work will bring blood, sweat, and tears! Now I’m not talking about any type of abuse (physical, emotional, financial, nor mental). I’m talking about hurt feelings and moments of disappointments! We, as human beings, are flawed! We will stumble and fall before we get it right! Even in LOVE! Yes especially in LOVE! Shit may get ugly sometimes so don’t expect fairytales! All that matters is that we come out on the other side of hurt and disappointment…TOGETHER and STRONGER! Now let’s get back to this helpmate discussion. I am liberal in so many things but am traditional in a few. ?Independent, successful, beautiful, and assertive…I have achieved so much on my own! Nevertheless this does not mean that I want to do everything in life by myself. Alone is just my comfort zone. I like jet setting without having to tell anyone where I am headed! I like my FREEDOM! However, I get that the male ego may be fragile and not appreciate these traits in a woman. Enter me and my 10 puppies! ? Exit my hurtmate! A hurtmate, in my opinion, is a man (more like a boy) who beats his chest about wanting to be the king of his castle and leading his wife but has no damn life plan! Grab this man a life boat because he’s sinking…and worst of all…he is bringing some misguided woman with him! Listen up here! My liberal assertive ass is okay with you leading but if I see you have no life plan for us and don’t even know who the fuck you are…I am going to light a firecracker under your ass and if you don’t budge…I shall be leaving your ass! That’s right! You read that right! How can you build on a foundation with anyone with no damn life plan?! Seriously?! Am I suppose to submit to you because of your gender?! Miss me with all of that! This is a great time for Jesus, Commitment, and Pork. JESUS! Does my life partner believe in God/a Higher Power? If not, where will his faith in us come from when things get hard? If he is just relying on himself to battle the world…will a good breeze not blow him away and steal his soul? How can that type of man lead me?! COMMITMENT! Is he ready to commit to me and forsake all others? Is he ready to make me a priority? Will he wear a bullet proof vest and step in front of me when the world is trying to abort my dreams? Will he do so? And the last one is PORK! I never trust a man who does not eat pork. lol. There’s no deep meaning behind this one. I just really hate turkey bacon and don’t think I could commit to a life of eating it! Yuck! ? These are the baselines for me to even begin to think life partner. The Ex Factor is only missing commitment but that’s essential and thus we dance around each other. I want him to have a plan and he just wants to chill with his boys!? It would be easier if he didn’t eat pork! Lol But I digress! I don’t want a hurtmate…a burden. A man that never came into my life to uplift me…he just appeared to use me! A hurtmate has no vision, no plan, and no faith yet wants to lead a woman! His qualifications?! HIS GENDER! ? That does not work for me nor a woman like me. I have serious questions! Like where are we headed and why? Can I depend on you? Are you choosing me out of love or desperation? Are you only in love with my outer beauty and not my inner? When I fall apart, feel insecure, and act irrationally…will you still love me? Most importantly, are you ready to receive the love and commitment I am giving you when I pledge to do all of the above for you? You see…I truly believe the biggest issue with the Ex Factor is he is not ready to be loved whole heartedly! He’s not ready to receive me! Or I could just not be the one for him. I’m open to either fate. ? A man that can lead faithfully deserves a good wife. But for those who are hurtmates, please do not expect us women to submit to you just because of your gender! You have to come with more than just that! Before I go…let me make one more thing clear…my helpmate is not suppose to save me! And fix all my messes! I have to be just as faith driven, strong willed, caring, and worthy of building a foundation with…like my helpmate. I should never be his anchor! We should be able to swim together without sinking overall in life because ALL I REQUIRE IN MY HELPMATE I MUST FIRST POSSESS MYSELF! ?? So ladies…we have to get our shit together! If we are broken, we will most likely attract a hurtmate! And if by the grace of God our broken selves still meet a helpmate, may we get right quickly to be able to appreciate and cherish him! ~KJM on Charm School Monday! SHE IS BACK! ??
Recent Comments