Last night….really early this morning, I had the worst argument I’ve ever had with the Ex Factor. The conversation started innocently enough over text. I had been somewhat distant from the Ex Factor in the last week. Even though I spoke to him almost daily….I never told him I was off from my day job. Wait let me back it up a bit…prior to this conversation…yesterday afternoon I heard from Elijah…again! He sent me two messages and as usual neither of them said much. I’ve been read receipting him all summer…not to be mean but because Elijah is 39!!! If he has something serious he had to say to me..he could have picked up the phone and expressed himself. These little boy games of texting and what’s app messages all summer filled with Hi’s were just pure juvenile. This time, however, I asked Elijah why he was contacting me all these months and he instantly said he still “wanted me!” I got so fucking turned off! Not an I miss you nor an I love you (not that either of those phrases would change how I feel about him but at least I would have respected how he came at me). Even the Ex Factor’s young ass know better than to do such things. Who are raising these boys?! Because they sure the fuck come across as WEAK! Men, if you have something to say to a woman…and you have one chance to tell her…you better have more to say than what this fool had prepared! Does this shit work on other women?! Cause it left me dry! Dry! Dry! I replied to Elijah and told him I don’t want him and he ended the conversation rather abruptly! What’s wrong boo? Cat got your tongue? Feelings got hurt? Next time step to a woman…like a man! This is one of the few things I am sure of in life! I DO NOT WANT ELIJAH! ??Life is too short to go through shit with some man you don’t love….or even a man you do love and he don’t respect you! Back to the Ex Factor! As I’m writing this….I am bawling my eyes out. I LOVE HIM (the Ex Factor)! But early this morning….I had to take back my power from him and let him go!!! This blog is dedicated to all the women I know (and don’t know) that’s going through something similar! LET ME BEGIN: He will stand there and watch me give more love than he does. He will stand there and watch me as I sacrifice my inner peace for him. He will stand there and watch me fall apart time and time again…without ever trying to catch me. He will stand there and watch me as I raise our children with no help from him (whether we live together or not). He will stand there and watch me fight the world to preserve our love…with no help from him. He will stand there and make me feel like an option…in dating…and even when we are married. He will stand there and watch me cling to my sanity when life gets hard for our family yet not lend a true hand to be there for me. He will stand there and destroy me while convincing me that I am the one destroying myself! In a sense, he is right. I have to take some of the blame because I allowed him to stand on the sidelines of our life while making promises that I could be there for us even when he checked out! Not only did he check out but he broke every promise to me…and our family! Worst part is….I let him off the hook! I allowed him to STAND THERE AND WATCH me as I self destruct! I, with my actions, indirectly told him that his love was worth more than mine. That he is worth saving while I’m drowning! Speaking of drowning….did I mention that I can’t swim? I taught myself when I jumped in the ocean and he promised to come in after me…but never did! I am a survivor so you damn right that in midst of those waves…I taught myself to swim! Hell I can fly too…that I learned for my children! They should never have to pay for my mistakes. Mommy will swim AND fly….I’m not JESUS but I believe in HIM and I believe if need be…HE would teach me how to walk on water! Because GOD is always able….even in the most dire situations! GOD IS ABLE!?????? I want to say that I’m so surprised that he…just stood there and watched me. But there were signs…from the beginning, I’ve had to bend over backwards being super woman for us…sometimes forgetting myself in the process. Yea….he just stood there and watched me….and I let him…. ~KJM on Throwback Thursday saying we women…single and married…have to always set our standards high in our situationships and relationships. These men would run all over us and deplete us of everything if we didn’t stop sometimes and say….“motherfucker…not today!“✌?️
yes take your power back. he wanted you to be upset and all over the place they do that its called transferring of emotion. send him and his foolishness right on back
I wish I never fell in love…6 years ago. Nothing is worth this kind of pain and disrespect….