This morning I definitely woke up on the wrong side of the bed! My day job is going to be very demanding for the next two months….that means I start my day at 4:15am and end it anywhere from 8:30pm to 10pm! ?I AM A WOMAN ON THE EDGE! ?So since I’m running late and already had to cuss someone out on the bus…I figured I would bless y’all with my sunshiny personality! ? As a single woman, I count down the days between the holidays and February 15! After February 14, single folks can spend the rest of the year celebrating their singleness! No Hallmark holiday to shame me for not having a man! I can just BREATHE! ?? As I count down to my emancipation day…I cannot help but think about some of the best and worst Valentine’s Days I have ever had! ? My best was with MR. TOSS SALAD…he spent 4 days whining and dining me in Atlanta. You know the ugly ones got to do that! ? Everything was about me and the best part of it was….I wasn’t expecting it. He even got some of our family and friends together to celebrate the weekend. No man had ever done that for me…I can give him that. I woke up every day with a gift at my feet! ? MR TOSS SALAD and I were not even dating! He had been trying to get at me since freshman year of college and now that I was broken-hearted from the Ex Factor…he saw his chance. From the Alvin Ailey Dance Company to the spa to the strip club…Valentine’s Day 2013 was everything! ?? Typically, all I want to do for that day is be with the man I love. I don’t need much but a true, everlasting, and securing love. The Ex Factor and I spent a portion of Valentines Day 2011 together and then I had dinner with my dad. We also spent a full Valentine’s Day weekend together in 2015. That was my most loved filled Valentine’s Day…because I was with the man I truly loved! ??? It had its beautiful moments but he also made me cry. He did all that I requested that weekend but complained about some things and introduced me to one of his associates as a “friend.” Granted we had not seriously dated since 2012 and he had not seen me since December 2013 but that shit still hurt. ? I cried in the bathroom of the movie theater, cussed his ass out a few times, and then got over it. ?That brings me to why I’m writing today. The Ex Factor does not have a romantic bone in his body. Not a one! ? In the beginning, the small sweet things he use to do for me and his need to make me happy every day…equaled romance but as the years went on…those things stopped. ? I grew up seeing my dad plan everything for my mom…even if he was upset with her. So I know romantic macho men do exist! For the most part, only my ugly rebound men with money were romantic….and that’s probably because their ugly asses knew they needed to kick mad game to get me AND keep me! ?My other men are pretty emotionless and believe romance is corny. Elijah, the oldest of the bunch, was emotionless and cheap so when Vday rolled around (February 2016), I bar/lounge hopped with my sister and my cousin. Had a great time and definitely recommend that for all my singles! Shit…I think I’ve gotten a little off track. ?People are who they are. The Ex Factor isn’t romantic so if we ever got serious or even got married…I should expect the same inconsiderate and emotionless man I dated! Lol. This does not mean that I can’t set standards for my needs to be tended to but it does mean…loving someone unconditionally means you cannot force what is not in them. Forcing a man to be romantic who knows nothing about romance is setting everyone up for failure! Got to be real with yourselves. People only change because they want to. So my suggestion for those who have an unromantic man…by Hallmark’s terms ???, is to find little ways that he can make you happy…that he’s capable of accomplishing. Perhaps he can watch the kids for an entire weekend so you can have a girl’s weekend or he can do more chores than he normally does to give you a break! Romance is what you both make it. I don’t need flowers or candy…I just want to feel LOVED! And if your man is from the “Netflix and Chill” generation, like the Ex Factor, you will have even more work than usual trying to explain to him why you want to feel loved year round! ? Everything in this current generation needs to be quick and easy…including sex…so romance is not dead for them…it never existed. ??? Good luck to all the couples who celebrate Valentine’s Day! And to my Singles…let’s synchronize our watches to 12:01am on February 15, 2017! Emancipation day is on its way! Let the countdown begin! ?? ~KJM blogging on the subway…on this very crazy Hump Day! Lord, please let me make it to work on time! ??????
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