Unfortunately, this is a topic I know all too well. It took years for me to realize that ever since my dating life began, at the age of 15, I developed an emotional cheating issue. There are a lot of possible psychological reasons stemming from my childhood that lead me to have this issue. However, that discussion is for another blog.
Now I know a lot of you are like “what’s emotional cheating? I just want to know where his dick is at night!!!” The dick can roam for many reasons but if his heart is with someone else…his dick is sure to follow! Today I want to share some warning signs of emotional cheating. This is so that you can recognize it in yourself and/or your partner!
6. SPENDING A LOT OF TIME WITH SOMEONE OF YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO! This tends to happen a lot between coworkers….so it is definitely not surprising that a lot of affairs start in the work place. First, the two of you may be placed on the same assignment. Then you and your male coworker start going to happy hour events with other coworkers. Soon the only two people feeling happy after hours are you and your work boo! Never forget that you have a good man at home that deserves your quality time. Moral: Watch who you give your quality time to!
5. HAVING PRIVATE INAPPROPRIATE PHONE CONVERSATIONS WITH A PERSON YOU ARE ATTRACTED TO! This one really gets people into trouble. First, it starts off innocent enough with a “Hi” or “Good Morning” text but as the weeks go by you find yourself running to your phone every time he calls or texts. You love the attention. It may have been a long time since you received this kind of attention from a man. The longer we have been in relationships, sometimes the harder it is to keep that spark going. But it’s a TRAP girl! Run! Each text message has an implied meaning! Yea soon he is going to wax that ass….but not before he says…GOOD MORNING! He’s just setting you up to lay the pipe one day! Moral: Whenever you accept the attention of a man that is not YOUR spouse, know that his intentions are probably not pure! Besides, aren’t we getting a little too old to have new friends of the opposite sex anyways?
4. CONSTANTLY PUTTING YOUR SPOUSE DOWN AND COMPARING HIM TO ANY MAN YOU SEE! Now I know you are wondering how this could lead to emotional cheating. By staying with one man, saying he is not good enough, and then saying every other man is better…you are planting the seeds for an emotional affair. You ever heard that the tongue is very powerful and what you say gets released into the universe? By telling your man and the world that he is not good enough, you are unintentionally asking the universe to send you a more exciting man! Girlfriend…it’s a slippery slope! If you love your imperfect man and believe he is a good man…talk with him about working on your relationship. Don’t openly test the waters while endangering a good relationship/marriage! Moral: Get your shit together! You are the one who is not working at your relationship/marriage hard enough. Be part of the solution and not the problem!
3. KEEPING A “FRIENDSHIP” WITH MEN YOU HAVE BEEN EMOTIONALLY AND/OR PHYSICALLY INVOLVED WITH! Now I am not talking to those of you who have children with your exes because clearly for the sake of those children….some sort of positive communication needs to continuously occur. However, realize that you are walking a fine line. Communication about your children is far different that reminiscing about the great sex you and your ex use to have! Now to the rest of you holding onto exes while you have so called moved on to another relationship! What are you doing? Your ex can almost never really be your friend. While you are keeping him up to date on the every details of your relationship, he’s at his house singing “she’s mine….you may had her once but I got her all the time!” Yea…I remixed that MoKenStef song “He’s Mine!” Desperate times calls for desperate measures. Moral: A man from your intimate past has no business being part of your intimate present/future. You cannot have your cake and eat it too!
2. TELLING ANOTHER MAN EVERY INTIMATE DETAIL OF YOUR CURRENT RELATIONSHIP! Earlier on the list, I spoke about how dangerous it is to have inappropriate conversations with a person you are attracted to…outside of your relationship. In number 5, I was really speaking about sexting. However, number 2 is even more dangerous than sexual conversations. When another man knows how your day was before your boyfriend/husband does…you are in trouble. He knows your likes, dislikes, happiest moments, saddest moments, and even knows about the issues you are having in your current relationship. This other man is essentially IN your current relationship. He consoles you and always says the right things to make you feel beautiful and happy. What you fail to realize is being the “side guy” is about supply and demand. He finds out what you are missing and supplies it. This man, however, does not have tools to do ALL the work in a full blown relationship. He’s like a marketing executive…his job is solely to sell. Now are you going to buy? Moral: The grass is never greener on the side. It’s an illusion. Truth be told, the grass is greener where you water it!
1. LETTING SOMEONE OTHER THAN YOUR SPOUSE INTO YOUR HEART! This one is a bit tricky as we don’t always know when we are falling in love. However, if you have been doing any of the things on this list…there is a great chance someone may fall in love during this emotional affair! So far you have given your quality time, had inappropriate phone conversations, holding on to your sexual past, and constantly put your current spouse down. Girl you don’t know whether you are coming or going! But realize that emotional affairs can lead to physical ones….meaning if found out by your spouse…your cuming just may lead to your going…as in being forced to leave your current relationship! Moral: The Bible says to “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.” Proverbs 4:23. Be careful who you give your heart to. Not everyone was built to handle it with care! ~KJM on Temptation Tuesday saying I use to be an emotional cheater until I met someone that made me want to only open up to him and God. Keep us in your prayers!
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