Tomorrow is the start of Spring and there is no better time for this Charm School Monday lesson! IT IS TIME FOR SPRING CLEANING and I’m not referring just to your old clothes and shoes. There is work to be done to move forward and we are going to do it! ?? Ladies and gentlemen, did you know that there are certain places one should not go…and certain spaces one should not occupy?! ?? Let that sink in for a moment. Often times, we know when it is time for a lover to go but we let the bad family and the bad friends slip through our fingers! ?? Now I cannot tell you who should go nor who should stay in your life. That is simply your choice. My only goal is to give you some tools for when your season of Spring Cleaning has arrived. Bad family is a little more difficult to tackle so today let’s focus on bad friends. There were friends I had since childhood that I never thought I would ever have to let go of. I remember one particular group that I always loved to party and go on vacations with. Most of our friendship, we had never had a single argument but then one day one ensued and it was the collapse of four friendships. I did not see it coming yet (to my surprise) I did not bat an eye. The argument was petty and “men” jumped into a what was essentially a female argument ?…which is a huge pet peeve of mine. Let the women argue. No man should be following up women like that but it happened and it escalated quickly. I cussed them out and blocked every damn one of them and just like that 16 and 17 years of friendships went down the drain! POOF! BE GONE! Or was it really like that? Had there been little signs along the way that these people were not my true friends and really only my college party associates still hanging on? YES! There were signs. I spent four years after graduating from graduate school in financial ruins (because I could not find a decent job during the height of the recession), my family life had fallen apart, and my personal life was a mess. My so called friends only lived two hours away from me but never ask to see me unless they were scheduling a vacation. And only one of them had children!!!! This is actually a good time to say this…BEING A PARENT AND/OR BEING MARRIED ARE NOT GOOD REASONS TO BE A BAD FRIEND! Yes your priorities have shifted but so have all of ours! Who the hell do you think had your back when you were transitioning into your new life?! Your true friends did! How dare you shit on us when you have so called evolved?! You know what…I’m just going to leave that right there and let that sink it to whom it should! ?? Back to possible signs of friends that must go! There are some folks out there flying high under the name of “best friend” but are really your best enemy! ?? If they are insecure, jealous, liars, or only keep you close because they want to hear the nasty details of your life and judge you afterwards…let them go! There is nothing best about them. If you cannot step to me with real friend problems and you are talking about me behind my back…you are no friend of mine! If I cannot believe one word you say…you are no friend of mine. If you think I want every and anything you have (including your tired ass man) you are no friend of mine! I don’t roll that way. If you see me fall and you are helping to push me down…you are not my friend. If you cannot look me in my face and state any grievance you have with me…you are as fake as they come. You see…with friends like these…you don’t need enemies! Yes ladies and gentlemen, clear these fools out of your spaces and places. Not everyone is meant to go to the next level with you! ?? One last thing, if you are not totally ready to do Spring Cleaning on these “sometimish” friends, do me one favor…do not allow them in your circle of trust!!! Keep them on the outside and continue your life! You owe no one any explanations. ~KJM is gearing up for Spring Cleaning on this Charm School Monday. Be wise about who you share your hopes, dreams, fears, and life with. The folks that know you best know how to hurt you. “Guard your heart” is not just a saying for lovers. Protect your peace. It is worth it.
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