It’s been a burning question on men and women’s minds for decades. Can the opposite sexes be JUST friends? My answer…YES! My best friend, Zack, is a heterosexual man and has had my back since 1999! ?? In college, I always had about an equal amount of male and female friends…still do! This woman needs a healthy dose of testosterone in her friendship circle! When I was dating Crazy at age 20, he hated that I had male friends. It didn’t matter if they were gay or straight (as I had both)….he wanted them out of my life. Crazy just did not believe men and women could be just friends! I totally disagree but I think true friendship can be found between the sexes under certain circumstances. Here are my top 5 Ways That Men And Women Can Be True Friends: 5. THEY ARE ALSO FRIENDS WITH EACH OTHER’S SPOUSES! I think that as you grow, male and female friends must support each other’s relationships and AT LEAST have respect for each other’s spouses if friendship cannot be achieved with the spouses. Zack lives far away from me so I did not meet his wife to be until shortly before the wedding. Let’s just say…she wasn’t open to being my friend but acknowledged that we are both in it for the long haul with Zack. I knew the ins and outs of their courtship and she knew that I had had major beef with Zack’s first fiancée! ? Awkward position to be in but I think we have all made the best of it. When they visit NYC, I try to meet up with both of them. I always ask how she is doing and I don’t expect invitations to events that are mainly for her…like baby showers. That’s her territory…she is his wife…and I respect that. So I support from afar and I think this works for all of us. Over the years, I think Zack’s wife has grown more confident as he often tells me publicly (on social network) that he loves and misses me. I think she finally understands that Zack is my brother for life. 4. NO SEXUAL HISTORY! While the sexes may be attracted to each other…it’s possible the attraction is not physical. Zack loves my drive and I love his business sense and his commitment to his family. I brag all of the time that my best friend is a great husband! ?And just when I want to give up on men and join the “lesbian by choice” club (lol), I am reminded of the amazing man Zack is. If he exists…then so does my amazing future husband! I think the thing that solidifies a true male and female relationship is not having any kind of sexual history. Zack and I have never even kissed! That’s my BROTHER and that’s what I explain to every new dude I’m dating. Zack always asks “did you tell him that your best friend is a man?” And I always say yes. Zack is irreplaceable and he is the one friend I love in a way that I love my family. Whatever we go through…we must stay together. No one leaves this friendship. And even if we hurt each other…FORGIVENESS is the only choice. Trust that we have pushed these theories to the limit over the years…and still held onto each other! ?? Great time to say I love you Zack! Thanks for all the unconditional support over the years. 3. THE ROOM TO FALL IN LOVE! True male and female friendships should support and encourage each other to have healthy and loving relationships. When Zack met his now wife…I was happy for him. Though I was scared that the soon to be Mrs. Zack would hate me like the first fiancée. I bawled like a baby at his wedding and while Willow was with me…she just didn’t get it. Romantic love is her thing. For me, friendship is everything! Zack is one of the few men who is not related to me (and one of only two White Men…shout out to Snack Pack…my other white long term male friend) that I trust wholeheartedly. I was afraid things would change but Zack has managed to keep every promise he has made to me while being an amazing husband! ?? 2. MEN GIVE THE BEST ADVICE ABOUT OTHER MEN! As long as a man is not interested in a woman romantically, he will be a source of drama free and honest advice that leads to a stress free friendship! No staying up on the phone with a manless girlfriend (or one in a more toxic relationship than you) giving bad advice! No sir! A true male friend is a gold mine filled with glimpses of the very complicated and fragile male ego. I can’t be certain but I’m almost willing to bet that women with male best friends have stronger romantic relationships! ? There’s no one to hate on your relationship because they aren’t happy. Men are simple creatures. Does he treat you right and are you happy? Those are the types of questions I’m asked by Zack when I am in one of my new situationships! No need for analyzing every detail of a tragic or made to be tragic situation. ?? 1. AGE LIMIT! I truly believe to be real male and female friends…you must meet when you are young. At age 18…Zack just made the cut off. At age 20 (once again not a science to this) Crazy and I agree that no straight man just wants to be a woman’s friend and if he is…it’s because she FRIEND ZONED him or in rare instances…he may have friend zoned her…but dudes will still be tempted to smash a chick in the friend zone while women rarely do. ~KJM on Hump Day saying thank you Zack for all the times you told dudes they weren’t good enough for me, the times you showed random strangers my photos and spoke of my beauty, and for all those times you supported me on complete craziness! Because of the man you are….I can still believe in true, trustworthy, respectful, and forever love! Shout to Zack and his wife! ?
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