And he asked me…“How long will you wait?” I paused for a second and then suddenly two answers came to mind. The FIRST was to paraphrase Fatima from the book “The Alchemist” in saying “Before this…I always looked to the desert with longing; But now it will be with hope; My father went away one day but he returned to my mother, and he has always come back since then; I am a woman of the desert.” I take this to mean that women of the desert trust that no matter what happens their true love will come back to them. It is better for him to follow his personal legend to his treasures in life than to wait with me in time…living with regrets of the journeys he never took. The Alchemist reminded me that “LOVE never keeps a man from pursuing his Personal Legend; If he abandons that pursuit…it’s because it was not true love…the love that speaks the language of the world.” So to sum up my first answer…like the women in the desert in times of war…I am independent and wise enough to know that I have to wait until he completes his Personal Legend or we will never be happy. He, BOAZ, must see what the world has to offer him in order to know that he is CHOOSING me out of true love and not out of some need to not be alone. My SECOND answer for the man was…I will wait as long as he, BOAZ, waited on me for there was a time I too was not ready. I had my own Personal Legend to live out and now that I have fulfilled that Legend…I too am now choosing love freely and not out of obligation nor loneliness. And so I wait. To my surprise, the man accepted my answers. Then he said…“Two things you must learn to successfully be a woman of the desert…SUBMISSION and CONTENTMENT. Submit…not to your detriment…but to the things you cannot control. His…the man you wait on…ways are not within your control. During moments of possible contention…ask yourself if it is worth being angry over things you cannot control. And to fully understand this man you call BOAZ…you must understand contentment. Be content in where you are. Right now you are waiting for him to return. Do not be impatient nor upset in your wait. Wait with the patience and understanding Fatima exerted in the desert for the shepherd boy. You must not forget submission and contentment for they are the things that good wives are made of. Lastly, and this one you already know…you must practice patience! Anything in life worth having will require great patience!” When he finished, I pondered all he had said. Submission and contentment were not words I was familiar with. Neither of my parents had accomplish this in their marriage. Before I could even finish that thought…the man unexpectedly asked one more question. “What if the Ex Factor is BOAZ?” Now it was my turn to pause. After a long pause I replied…’I do not believe the Ex Factor is BOAZ and there is something deep inside of me that does not want him to be.’ That’s the thing I never said out loud. It’s contradictory that I believe God could turn water into wine…I believe that God can heal the sick…and I wholeheartedly believe that God could turn almost any situation around but this was the one thing I doubted Him in. I hope and pray that things with BOAZ will be easier. That I will fall asleep at night knowing he loves me and that there will never be a single thing that I will have to forgive BOAZ for. This was the reason why I went with Elijah in Fall 2015. With someone new…there’s no pain there because there is no history. I expected things to be easier with anyone but the Ex Factor. BOAZ won’t disappoint me nor make me cry. He won’t neglect me and it will be easier. That’s what I thought. The man looked at me and said “pray on it but do realize that God is capable of anything.” There I stood…waiting in silence. And like Fatima said…“I am a woman of the desert but above all else I am a woman.” As women, the wait is never easy but whether it be for BOAZ or the Ex Factor…I must wait until they complete their Personal Legend for at the very least…God allowed me to do the same. ~KJM paraphrasing a conversation I had with an older and happily married male coworker yesterday (Easter Sunday). Happy Charm School Monday! ?
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