Awaiting BOAZ Letter 2 (The Heal Me Edition)

As promised…I await you. I yearn you. But before I meet you…I must let you know the journey I’ve been on to get to you. I was never really a relationship person…never grew up wishing and praying for a husband. As a matter of fact, I’ve dodged marriage for as long as I could…to avoid losing myself and marrying the wrong person. Maybe a year and a half ago…I unbeknownst to me at the time…I started to prepare for you. You see I have had lots of situationships and imperfect relationships. I got bruised along the way but nothing to shake my faith in your existence (before I even acknowledged it or yearned for it). Over six years ago, I met a guy I now call the Ex Factor and fell deep in love…like in a way I never expected to. I still clung to myself but I allowed him in. And in the beginning…that feeling was EVERYTHING! ?I woke up singing even in the time period I call the Dark Ages (2009-April 2013…in which I met the Ex Factor in June 2010). Before laying eyes on him…the beginning of the Dark Ages swallowed me up. I would lock myself away from the world and hide. Wanted no one to see nor hear me cry. I could carry the weight myself…that’s what I told myself. Then things fell apart and I didn’t really smile with my heart until June 2010 when I laid eyes on him. And suddenly the sun came out after every storm. He was there with me…holding my hands every step of the way. That was my love. 6 years later with all the ups and downs and I’m still not sure if he is you. Is it silly that I hope and pray that God will turn him into you…BOAZ? I know that my love alone cannot change a man but GOD IS ABLE…so I leave it all up to HIM and I pray. That’s what the Ex Factor taught me to do…pray for not only love but the eternity of it. And so I started to prepare for you…not knowing what you look like nor what you have been through to get to me. If the Ex Factor is not you…then he will be the main person you will have to help me heal from. If it doesn’t work out with him…you may find my heart broken and bruised…scared to try again…and I need you, BOAZ, to be patient with me and to never give up on me. I need you to be PRESENT every step of the way…having faith in me, us, and GOD. I continue to await you…no longer crying and praying on the subway…just praying with peace in my heart for I believe it is all…ALREADY WRITTEN…and when I am ready…you will know. ~KJM awaiting BOAZ on Charm School Monday ❤️